


Tattoo

by Itachi_S_Lucius



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dark Guilds, Dragon Mates, Family Drama, Guilt, Homophobia, Implied Future Mpreg, M/M, Minor Character Death, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Slightly Out Of Character, Slow Build, Slow Burn, True Mates, people die when they are killed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-04-07 12:51:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 48,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14081322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itachi_S_Lucius/pseuds/Itachi_S_Lucius
Summary: Ivan was not a kind man, and in teaching his son to be a dark wizard there were many tendancies, pains, sorrows, actions and disactions that cast Laxus into the type of man who could kill if needed. Natsu  had met him by accident. He wouldn't change it though. He loves his boyfriend with everything he is, and all the fire in his soul.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahahahaha
> 
> Stop me. 
> 
> This was meant to have 14K words, I cut the length into 2 chapters.
> 
> Me and 1st person don't get along

 

* * *

There were many things I could regret doing, could being key, rarely I allow such focus on things unchangeable. Decisions can make the man, but they hold no bearing on one who does not regret nor contemplate them. I consider myself a fighter, not one to ponder over the rational, logic induced issues because all I want to do is rely on instinct so that I can survive the best I can. Maybe my Dad shaped me in the way that it only seemed irrelevant to help me, even if it has yet to work.

Recklessness is something I have been frequently told is not an asset, least of all to me as I have a higher than usual destructive force. Listening to other people is not something I'm good at either, family or not the thought of being controlled or dictated proper responses to a situation by someone else is not a thing I can abide by. Some people want rigidity a strict system a sanitary principle that falls for all people. I cannot, will not, accept that bases of living. I enjoy to much the nuinaces of life, even if it occasionally causes me physical pain. Though I have been told physical pain often leads to the path of emotional I don't care to hear that.

I wanted to regret my actions. They were almost betrayal, as close as I could get without actually solidifying a traitor status and becoming a dark wizard. So close to dismantling my guild with reckless abandon just because I did something while thinking only of myself. An inclination leading to my own dismantling. Guilt could cover nothing of what I felt as I involved myself deeper. Yet, even as a guilty conscious grows within me everyday, I cannot bare to ignore the elation I feel, the serenity of comfort. The disquiet of secrecy hidden by self-indulgence. I had never desired to look myself in the mirror and wonder about my own existence as good or bad, i had always considered myself the former no matter the circumstance. Now there was no assurity in my actions, certainly not in my mind.

Can it be labeled as bad, or immoral if it feels comforting, if there is joy and pleasure in the secrecy? Igneel, my father, a man- not a man, whom I could base myself off of, who I could depend upon to have a moral compass that was reliable and just. He had taught me many years ago as a young child that people -humans, often held each other to moral equivalents. That it was a ridiculous bases for a lifeform that held intricate patterns and thoughts for each individual. People were of a different opinion, that all should be held in the same regard and if there was a difference in the balance that person should bare a punishment. I had always tried to understand, being of an entirely dragon based education.

But I soon found, quickly, that human nature was not something fully comprehensible to someone like me. No matter how many times I attempt to trick myself into thinking otherwise something primal and purely instinctual declines. I can no longer ignore that, I can no longer play that I pretend to agree with twisted human bases for normality. So I have decided not to think, or speak, or look towards it unless it is with someone of the same mindset as I.

As life is colourful, I met someone who had such a worldview. Which is what lead to such an intricate moral discussion with myself in the first place. He being older than me, was more experienced, and though he was raised by humans held an unusual detachment to the commonalities presented with most. Was it due to his parentage? No certainly not, his father was a man who held firm belief in social structure and his mother had long since passed. Was it due to him being of a dark guild -and by extension himself being a dark wizard? No, though it was more likely, I knew that too was not the answer. Nor do I expect to ever figure it out, its not as if its vastly important knowledge anyway.

All I am inclined to care about is less theoretical, and more emotionally based intelligence.

Fiore is much different then where I grew up. Almost completely considering the lack of trees, marsh, mountains and dragons. Considering there is also other people around instead of being encompassed by solitude it acts around me as an entirely obscure world;. Albeit one I have grown accustomed too. In fact, my parentage and lack of experience involving other people it is surprising that I should value friendships and family as closely as I do.

That being said, my guild being my family does not mean there are no disagreements between me and them. Although they remain blissfully unaware of my inner begrudging with them. It is not believed that I am capable of holding my tongue, but given my opinions of the rules and regulations governing both my guild and the magic world in general it is shocking how restraintful I am.

That rule being a blatant denial of something non shameful, that needn't be forbidden as it affects no one but the person breaking the law. I being one of those individuals, and as such I believe it prudent to state that it is in no way harmful to me, or anyone else, in fact I enjoy the feeling of freedom I now indulge in. Even if keeping the secret of my rebellious nature from my guild eats at my conscious.

I simply enjoy the company of other men, romantically. Which is considered a shameful act by the laws of Zentopia and the Magic Council, for reasons I have never understood, nor will ever understand. It is nye impossible to find someone who will willingly bend the law so that they may be with the ones they truly care for in this instance -the punishment being severe.- I am one of very few. Still I find it necessary for my own sake.

However, even with limited connections, and even more limited space I have found someone. I know for certain that I love him, I can even be certain that he loves me though he is more aloof about it then I. So even if he is a member of a Dark Guild I cannot fathom giving him up for the sake of appeasing my own guilt or the law of injustice. Morally, by human standards I am wrong, I am sinful. But by the standards of which I have grown up believing and was taught I cannot think that of myself.

Of course I can tell no one. So no one knows, not even Happy, my best friend and cat whom I care so deeply for that I would kill to protect him. No one knows but me and the man I love.

It was a few weeks after a hushed meeting that I stumbled across a rather bad, uncivilized, and insulting impersonator. I was under the illusion of searching for my long missing father, a good enough reason to be wondering about with only my feline companion and a sack on my back when I ran into a young girl around my age searching for something. I don't really know what it was, but she was excitable and fun to be around, an adventurous intellectual that was simply to compatible with me not to have formed a type of hesitant friendship. Besides she did buy Happy and I a whole two meals worth of food, so it would simply be unkind of me not to offer something in return.

Knowing my guild she would be welcomed with open arms, as she was a wizard without an emblem I knew she must have been searching for a guild to join. It was mere coincidence that she happened to idolize Fairytail, though beneficial to her that I was a member. Her heart matched the spirit of my family so it wasn't as if she was unsuited, and I had credibility so they wouldn't reject my advocating for her installment.

My concern for Lucy is minimal, she is a capable wizard as far as I can see, so I'm not to worried about her getting caught up in a fight -in fact it would probably only make it more fun- but our Guild is not exactly conventional. Mira at least took a liking to her, which would be beneficial seen as Mirajane knows everything about the family, and many more things about the Guild on a fundamental level considering her previous S-rank status -that no one talks about publicly.- Hopefully she can get her up to speed on the various fundamentals on each guild member.

Being flashed by Grey on her first day couldn't have been pleasant, but in fairness the man did deserve it. Interested in men I may be, but Grey, to be grossly simplistic was simply not my type, considering my present boyfriend- Grey is a lanky unskilled child in comparison. Not that it was entirely just to compare Fullbuster to my rather boorish man. I could certainly cite on all of my fingers and toes the many things upon my partner's body that were bigger and better than Grey, though not a competition, definitely not, as the Ice Mage would be humiliated. And no one would long for that -except maybe sometimes myself- my fellow is a man of extreme self confidence and I do delight and forcefully wrenching him off his pedestal every once in awhile.

Lucy seemed to get along fine with most everyone in the Guild, though I know for certain that Loki may have a few running issues with classification, the man has always been sensitive with Celestial mages. A mystery yet unsolved by most of our guild members, though there is a rumour spreading that Bixslow -a knight like man that works under Freed -the strongest Enchantment/script magic user in the guild- is aware of why, but I hold that to only be a rumour. The Legion -as Freed and Bixslow, and their third member Evergreen are referred to are secretive at best and elusive at worst, how the knight would know of Loki's problem is nearly impossible in its improbability.

My consolation to the dramatic flare that continued to be my guild is my satisfaction in my date nearly two days ago. Something I would brag about could any of my Guildmates be trusted to not go snooping about. Fact is, none of them, not even Erza could ignore the allure of gossip and would no doubt find a way to follow me and uncover my boyfriend's identity, which is not permissible. Yet even as it had only been a meager two days of absence I find myself longing for his company, pinning for his attention. A stab of pride interjects my lonely longing and instead a necessary following brawl erupts due to my own conflict of mind.

* * *

* * *

 

Over the month my thoughts linger on selfish action. I want for him to contact me, I desire to speak to him in turn to share and relish in that rare connection I have found myself in unlike any other. We can not speak in frequent, often he is positioned far from me, and I cannot escape for long enough a duration to visit him. Still I ignore the crushing weight in my chest and raise from bed to meet with my friends. Sore are my muscles, the rise out of comforting padding a difficult one as a pleasant yet stiff set to my limbs reminds me of the job my team and I just returned from.

My smile disappears when I see in my mind the memory of my Guild's broken walls and crumpled structure. I have seen many a desolate, but to the heart I bare, my home being disrespected and tarnished so thoroughly is nothing short of devastating. I have a deep rooted connection to the place of my upbringing, I think because of the people. Whoever had sought to dismantle a great Guild as my own I see no other root then revenge. Anger is something so easily accessible far superior to sorrow or apprehension. Anger is only a want of conflict and that is a primal urge not clouded by tears. I can accept rage as my response because sadness at the events unfolding only bring myself problems.

Phantomlord is said to be a repressive Guild bordering themselves near the precipice of dark and light law. Fairytail having been at odds with them for so many unproductive years it is difficult for me to remember when the rivalry ignited. Should it serve as their legacy a pitiful self-destruction?

I walk heavily to the hall, and it feels as though the stone slips under my feet, it seemed balance had lost all meaning that could have been the weighted frustration in my gut stewing close to the weakness I decline to fully acknowledge.

My eyes stray and I see my friends gathered around the ancient sakura tree, various expressions tone their faces, but it is clear that they all display the same variant of emotion. Fear. Some cry, others are still as stone, many cannot hold in their shocked gasps, a few look on angrily at the trunk. I run down the hill quickly, whatever had scared them so was not a threat, but a horror.

I find myself to be grossly right. I wish I wasn't. There displayed for all to regard, the trophies on a mantle, hang people I have known all my life. Beaten with sickly yellow and purple blemishes, torn clothes made now to look as if frail cloth hanging limply on each. Their chests all rise and fall, I take comfort in that. Still my head feels light and my fingernails bite spitefully into my palms. They are people who deserve more respect then to hang limp from a tree, bolted there as if they were only a last minute consideration. Levi appears to have gotten the brunt of the attack, her face and abdomen showcasing for blaring bruises against her pale complexion. Near where the Phantom Emblem flares out in its obscurity.

My ears and practise in knowledge acknowledge the man before I myself do, moving to the side as the Master interrupts the spewing feelings around the tree, magic power radiating from his being in the form of a holy white light blazing around his figure. In familiarity it calms everyone around me, and I veer away from hostility in place with a cold resolution.

Fixed in his own anger I hear Gramps's declaration of war.

* * *

* * *

 

Battle is more instinct then tactical, I could never formulate a formation when fighting an enemy, my body moves in recognition and I blindly follow it. That is rare to change, maybe if I fight against a powerful enemy with the ability to best my raw magic prowess, Dragonslayer or not, I wasn't expecting Black Steel to present much of a challenge in combat. It was not as if his skills were unknown, but only that he was lacking in a fundamental that I had long believed one could not fight in earnest without. I was proven wrong as his blows each had the strength of a man possessed by only mental fortitude. Still he was obviously fighting on a point of disability, just not the type I had expected when having heard of him.

I could have fought longer, I could've, but with Gramps being so ill, a green over his skin, and a slow pulse, all anger fueling my actions had fled me. For the first time in many years I was confronted by the blunt reality of battle, and stood confused in the middle of the area. Confidence escaping per each breath, fear settled in my stomach, overwhelming in how strange it was. I saw logic in Erza's warnings to retreat. Then I heard a rasp from above along with a deep undertone.

"-aken the girl Lucy." Ignoring the unusual lapse in assurity, I face one of the lackeys licking his wounds and felt a spitting fire like the fanned flames of embers begin to glow. No one else from my guild would get hurt, I was not allowing it no matter my state, this was about my friends in danger, personal problems did not matter in times like these. I am the dragonslayer of fairytail it is my job to wear myself thin so that no one else has too.

* * *

* * *

 

I am in need of arms around me, as I curl into my blankets and smother myself with the pillow in a poor attempt of comfort. It wasn't like I was weak from the fight with Gajeel, we had barely even gotten started before Erza had to pull us out and I had to rescue Lucy from their guildmaster. But oddly, I want a type of comfort, i want to not have to think about what emotions creep up on me and just let it melt away in the arms of another. I long to beat the faces in of every single Phantomlord member, but at the same time I also just be with my boyfriend and hear him mock his own father as I tell stories of how gross Grey is or how scary Erza can be when cake is involved.

I long for a battle where I can bare my all, lunge forward with no restraints as I brutally enact revenge onto the people who destroyed my home and humiliated my guild. As my fists get blooded and my head rings, my body soaring with adrenaline.

Yet, I also want to just listen to the grumpy voice, to the dry sardonic humour of Laxus. Laughing at his near continual moping, as I get in return a brutal glare and a passionate 'shut up kiss' as he looms over me.

I've never wanted for anyone else to face my battles for me too see another take apart what I wished to destroy. But I have never truly seen him at work, and in honesty I want to watch as Phantom Lord a Guild so famed for their unabashed dark side get taken apart by a single man from a dark affiliation. Satisfaction at their ironic dismantlement is all I can think of. Even so, there is something about the thought of watching him tare down so large that provokes erotic subtext in my mind.

I don't want to know how fierce I must be blushing right now. I look towards the communication orb huddled in a hidden part of my closest. Strictly speaking I am not supposed to have one, but Laxus had gotten me it as a present so that we could communicate whenever I felt I needed him -or he needed me.- Though he is the more aloof one of the two of us so I don't see that happening anytime soon. I did have a streak of not having used it for simple conversation since I received it, somewhat a matter of pride. Though i can deny no longer, I just want to hear his voice. It is new to me to be under the affliction of so many quarrelling emotions that I need someone to express them too. Happy is far away keeping Lucy company as he is the nicest of felines, so I do have a unique opportunity.

I touch my hand on the orb, it glows brightly like a fire regardless of the cold sensation not having left my palm. "Laxus" I speak to it, in response it lights in a pale yellow. Impatience grasps me, but anger and irritation are nothing new, what is new is the gnawing sensation of desperation crawling under the surface. The orb makes a clicking noise before I see blond hair, a scar, and confusion.

"Natsu?" It is unusual, I can't blame him. Still I huff at his questioning tone, its not that strange for me to contact him surely?

"What am I not allowed to talk to you or something?" In regards to recent events my temper is more volatile, I suppose I hadn't considered it would affect the way I spoke to Laxus of all people. Being a complete jerk of course he seems to get a rise out of it and smirks wide. Good thing he did so before I started to feel guilty, I can mentally punch him in the face without qualm now.

"Of course pinkie. What's the occasion?" A simple, unloaded question turns out to be my mental undoing. I feel the humiliation before it even starts, a deep sinking in my abdomen as a prickle nicks my eyes. Caving in my chest painfully as sweat gathers on my palms despite the cold. I'm sobbing within moments, broken loud things that are horrible and ridiculous, undignified and unmanly. The pride I upheld strikes to my core in a painful reminder that this shouldn't be happening. Regardless the memories remain my home destroyed, my friends attacked and injuried unjustly, Lucy being kidnapped and mistreated, and the weightful feeling of having to deal with it all.

"It's just to much!" I am crying to Laxus, my mind reasons, I should be strong, but I am not. "Master's hurt real bad! And Phantom wants Lucy and Levi, Droy, and Jet are hurt real bad and I want to beat them all up! B-b-ut they- I feel like I can't take a step without having to fix it and it's just to much Laxus! I just want to be angry! I don't want to feel all these complicated things!" Pathetic, truthfully I had never thought I would break down. I don't want to look at Laxus, not while feeling so helpless.

"Magnolia right?" I hear, nothing like I expected. Dumbly I nodd still trying to get rid of the streaming tears. "Natsu, you can't let yourself think that every burden is meant for you. There are things that other people need to fix and you can't always be there to save the day. Give yourself a rest." I expected him to mock me, but when I look down there is compassion fixed in his eyes and a small smile so miniscule only I would be able to site its appearance. This is the man I fell in love with. Even still there is a complex shift in his visage a type of pull at his eyes that convey something deeper of which I do not know.

My guilt is mostly quelled, but I know for certain I could have saved Shadow Gear from their ambush if I had been there. If only I had been more vigilant and seen that Phantom would never be happy with simple destruction.

"Wizards get hurt Natsu. Are you going to stress everytime a guild member gets a bandaid?" Had I said that out loud in a borish outcry of self-guilt? "You said Phantom. As in PhantomLord?" 'uh-huh,' I mutely answer. "Do you think that all emotion is bad?" I shake myself. I hadn't really considered it like that, maybe that was the brunt version of it all. Which if narrowed down sounds really stupid. I don't like considering other emotions because they are so much more unattractive while anger is simple and plain no greater understanding or hardened thinking needed. That doesn't mean I don't feel anything but anger, no matter how much easier that would be. After all, I love Laxus, and I relish in that. I am crying, so I can feel sadness even if I wish to be rid of it.

"It's just easier to feel angry." I shrug, I really hadn't considered it reluctance. Its stupid though, I can see that even if I'm not incredibly bright.

"What do you feel right now?" I cannot tell him the truth because its selfish and meak, not at all what a recognized strong wizard should feel in times of distress. He quirks his brow a stern expression making way from his earlier fond smile. "Be honest Natsu." He knows me stupidly well, and I both respect and resent that.

I play with my pants because I don't want to look him in the eye, and maybe I am pouting a little. "I- I feel… I want… Like I feel that I want…" I freeze for a moment. I can't say it, no matter how simple it is, there is a complexity to my battling pride and the feelings engendered as well as the instability of my own ability to bare the brunt of any emotion other than unadulterated rage.

What I feel is loneliness in a guild composed purely of family. What I feel is strain from having been thrust into the turbents of one fight to another just to appease some expectation that has fallen on my shoulders years ago. What I feel is coiling desire for a release. What I feel is a sorrow at my own self for having been embezzled with all these colliding feelings.

What I want is a moment to figure out exactly who Natsu Dragneel is. Not the fighter. Not the reckless one who charges into battle and loves his family. Someone deeper. The small little things that compose me, what I love to eat - my favourite meal, my colour of choice, what I like to wear, a hobby that is all mine to relish in. I long for something purely of myself, an understanding that I can center on when my fists aren't speaking for me.

With Laxus that type of discovery seems possible.

"I want to know who I am." This time I feel more magnitude to my words, not falsely said, but of pure desire that I know lays within me. Eighteen years old with only a hand full of things to define myself by, I need something more than that. My guild can see what I show them, the man personified as the Salamander, but I want to know who I really am. Discover what it means to have a thing I genuinely enjoy doing, to find my favourite flower, to seek out what food is best to my taste buds, a smell that reaches out to me. Does Laxus think I'm strange?

I look to him, he laughs lightly. "Oh is that all?" I know its not a dilemma many people have, although some do have times when they cannot find importance in themselves, that isn't the issue with me. My boyfriend is not someone who could be called sentimental, he isn't really a great listener either. But he is understanding, sympathetic, and -brutally- honest. He gets amused easily, but is generally non offensive in his manner towards other people unless they intentionally rile him. In a word: He's decent. I don't know if I'm even that, probably given my disposition. Here his understanding kicks in and a perturbed expression marrs his face. "How do you mean?" I snort at him.

"Just, self-discovery I guess. I want to know what I like and stuff, what makes me… me, not just the fighter who destroys things, but Natsu as a person. Who am I?" Laxus looks irritated, but his grey eyes won't meet mine and I can't tell why.

"You don't see anything but the fighter?" He seems so unnaturally pained as he speaks that I want to go over to where he is and ease his ailment away. But I have strong reason to believe it is my fault. Though I don't know why what I said would affect him as such. His voice even shook a little in an unsteady vibration. His gaze seems permanently fixed to the ground on the right. I have never seen him act so strange. Never as if he was in pain by mere words.

"I guess? I know a few things, but I've always been synonymous with fighting and fire and eating stupid amounts. That doesn't really encapsulate me, I don't think." His lips carve up, and I know he wants to make a crack at my vocabulary, but he refines -lucky for him.- It only does last for a moment before there's a frustrated frown and pinched brows once more. I continue: "I know that I love my family, and that I believe the Magic Council is shit. I know that I am gay and in love with the most handsome man ever. But other then that, I draw a blank." I want to point out the flush on his cheeks, light pink and pointed by a gentle quirk of his lips to the left, but I don't, being a bad time to mention his lack of ability to take a compliment. His posture is slouched so I know he is sitting with his hands on his feet and winged out legs as he does when he is relaxing.

"...I love you too," he says when I'm expecting some sort of remark on my self-definition. It sets light to something in my core, that little ball that makes me want to giggle and grin because it just feels so good to know that I have someone like him in my life. If a scuffled chortle escapes me in that moment he doesn't mention it.

He looks up quickly jaw ticks and his eyebrow twitches his muscles tensing under the cloth of his coat, and denting- stretching his leopard print shirt around his pectorals. He looks to me a moment, and I know instantly. He has to leave, least he gets caught. I smile, because separation for the both of us is never easy and every comfort is a soothing cream upon a burn. Then I deactivate the orb feeling myself a bit lighter from having talked to him about it. So maybe I long to have him close to me in an embrace. I can survive with what I am given.

Ignoring that, I have the suspicion that I will be facing off against Phantom soon, therefore against Black Steel Gajeel. Allowing myself to get distracted would be a bad idea, especially by romantic interest, uncontrollable as it is. Always I will worry when he gets pulled away as such, a fear that the Council had found their guild or that another Dark was at their walls declaring war. I can only imagine there would be much more carnage between guilds of their caliber. Even as we fight our own, I suppose it is merely natural to be concerned.

Not that I can let the others know of my own issues, immovable as stone and made to fight anything. That is who I am to them, and as of right now I cannot change that because I hardly know any different myself. I wonder if Happy or Lucy see me in a different light, I guess I can hope, but it's not exactly a thing you simply ask someone cat or human alike.

I ponder who sees me as something more. Though I doubt I will ever know the names.

Laxus, he knows something further, more than I myself do of who I am. In a way that is comfort in itself.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The morning comes with a stagnating air, foreboding omens, and a ache in my legs that I know means bad things to come. Still I stretch easing the muscles in my neck, back, and arms for a sense of regularity that is usually commonplace in my own house. Nearby Happy is indulging on a freshwater trout which I can only assume he got from the marketplace last night when I had been preoccupied. It looked like a rainbow, nice and fat but only around five pounds from what I could see.

For myself, I had pre cooked baked beans that would do for breakfast until I could get some more fresh material in the market later. Though I do wish my companion had seen fit to get me something yesterday, but I can't blame him. Honestly he is too cute, and oblivious in the way of good manners.

Sun is pleasant on my skin, temperature gruuling for anyone else, but I am extremely accustomed to high temperatures thanks to Dad. So it is in fact a charming change from the colder days of previous, now I can soak in the rays and actually feel the heat on my skin.

Luckily no horrid surprise greats me on my way to the guild, nor when I reach the underlevel. It is less relieving as everyone runs about attempting to predetermine how Phantom will attack next, or who will be involved. How it can be avoided, and allies or S-class mages we could recall for aid. Mystogan being nowhere near, and Gildarts impossible to contact Mirajane does not seem content to sit idle and is attempting to get into communication with them. Cana nearby looking on her cards to see if she could pinpoint any locations of the astray S-classes. Others who aren't panicking are drinking and upset, ranting about in a furious fashion about how rotten their opposing guild is. Mainly this 'job' was taken up by the older generation.

Erza was pacing with her eyes closed, I decide not to disturb her.

Lucy is quiet in the corner glaring at her skirt as if it had harmed her. Grey not far away talking in stoic tones about something boring, clearly trying to clear the poor woman up with a recount of something stupid to have occured in the hall.

Master Makarov was absent, and it bit at my conscious a little to not see him present, the whole guild attempting to function without the soothing comfort of the resident wizard saint. I had hoped that it was merely a weakening spell cast on him, but Gramps is as tough as nails, and if it had knocked him out it would be for awhile. Hopefully the treatment he got would get him out his ill state fast. Knowing the man as I do, I have little doubt that he will join us all eventually as we inevitably challenge Phantom for their actions. No one is comfortable without the old man providing his own type of solidity to the members.

In particular, the weeping woman, Lucy now in the corner clearly guilt stricken and fearful is taken all the proceedings the hardest. A misunderstood self blame that could not be more misplaced. She ran from a home which offered no love or comfort to her, and ended up in a place that did. How was she to know what would occur with her father? The man hiring a guild to find a daughter he had shown little compassion for was strange at best, suspicious at worst. Why suddenly care? Not that it mattered to me, the only impact his odd behaviour had on me was affecting my friend. I couldn't abide by that even if I hadn't man that alone warranted at least two solid punches. Even still, I could not hold grudge to the man completely, he was not responsible for how Phantom handled its jobs and therefore could not have known they would act so brashly.

I just wish Lucy could see that as plainly as I do. I can't provide much in way of comfort, but guilt does no one any favours and only leaves place for more of itself in the future, so I have to do something to ease her mind. After all, she is one of us new or not.

-Jerk that he is, I bet Laxus would disagree. He can be a complete asshole, annoyingly, it's part of the reason why I was attracted to him in the first place. -Lucy wouldn't approve- -

Grey was once more stripping, this time, there was nothing left to the imagination. I notice, without care of my discovery -one does have to remain detached from Grey's various bouts of nudity- that Laxus is far superior in size. Am I comparing? Yes, I am, anything to be better than Grey, even if I do not have much to boast of. At least my boyfriend does and that is victory in itself.

"Your clothes man." Wakaba remarks, unattached as one should be when dealing with a stripper. I don't comment on it, instead I focus on Lucy as I finish my poor attempt to console. A peculiarly effective speech that I myself am proud by as it significantly improves her mood. Smiling even a little as she watches Fullbuster's quick dressing. Which will prove useless in only a few moments, but it still is laughable regardless. A spectacle I will have to recall so that I can tell Laxus of it later, positive he will laugh for a long while as I retell it.

Mind goes sharp at the thought, Laxus could be in danger at the moment and I wouldn't even know as we are so far separated. I want to degrade that way of thinking as the man is more powerful than Erza and more than capable of beating up any foe that challenges him. But his Father from what I am told is not exactly pleasant and should he be the reason my boyfriend had to leave I have more a reason to worry. He figured out I ponder obsessively on one of our outings and told me -while smirking stupidly- to simply remember the first time he kissed me and find joy in it. As there would be many more of those to follow. It was a strangely sweet gesture from a man notorious amongst his fellows for being of cruel quality.

A quaking shook the guild and startled the frenzied people mucking about in their desire to do something and nothing. There was a unusually loud sound of waves against the shore akin to a great force striking at flesh then the eruption of a large gizer. Everyone shifted and froze momentarily in quandure for that was not a resonance common to the local of the hall. There was no hot springs near Magnolia -unless Hargeon can be counted but that is a full train ride away- there was nothing big enough to make such an abrupt sound. With a sense of uncertainty and little caution everyone rushed outside to look out at the water.

A beastly walking castle stood in between them and the view of the afternoon sun. Cana shouted about this being the work of Phantom against everyone's confusion and terror, instigating an immediate reaction from all present. Battle stances and magickal sigils began to appear almost as soon as she had finished her sentence. Erza stepped forward before all of them making herself a wall between them and the threat on the horizon. I had to wonder privately if this was a card only a Darkened Guild would use. Voice cascaded out from the structure as a horrible resounding boom, the nastil tone of their master Jose demanding the surrender of Lucy Heartfilia else the consequences will be severe. Obviously no one took him up on his threat, and instead in return to the demand magic stuck at the stone castle

They have some serious courage to do what they have, that or they are simply the dumbest guild to have ever crossed Fairytail. The demands, the threat, the blatant act of instigation, injury to their members all to get some money. It was more then disrespectful, it was a disgusting disuse of power. The fact that they targeted someone I like and consider a friend is only extra reason for me to kick them into a burning pit using nothing but my hands and some good old hard work.

Peculiarly there is a hesitance as then fire burns within. Anger coiling in a way I know all to well by now at the base of my stomach, ready to showcase power as I dismantle their operation. Hesitance is not something I am accustomed to feeling prior to a fight, maybe after a really long and tiring day, but it hasn't been. Then in a moment of clarity it occurs to me: I don't want to dive into battle. Is it because of letting myself go last night? Saying what I did, about longing for a chance to be more than a fighter, yet here I am again. Gearing up to destroy a foe alongside my guild. Maybe it isn't the lack of desire, because I love the thrill of adrenaline and will for as far into the future as I dare to look, maybe it is in conflict with my wanting of self identification.

In order to do well though, I have to push all that aside. Thinking through an obstacle has never helped me in combat.

I let my instinct mull my thoughts. I wonder how fast I can beat in Gajeel's stupid pierced face.

* * *

The wounded drone onwards, nursing their injuries and ordering alcohol to dull the ache in their limbs from the long lasting conflict. No fatalities is cause for celebration as well as Master's recovery and the defeat of our longest standing rival, but I want to celebrate in a completely opposing way to getting smashed on ale and whiskey. Unfortunately the only one who can help me wind down in that fashion is half way across Fiore.

I could, if I wanted try to find a one night stand, but I can't stand lady parts and I don't want to risk trouble with the council. Not to mention the death that would no doubt occur to the one I choose, given my boyfriends rather firm and unyielding position of 'no one looks at him, no one touches him,' that I've heard said many times in reference to me. Honestly if I hadn't I wouldn't consider Laxus a possessive man, not appearing as the type. But I know for certain that he is, and that is more hot then I care to speculate.

The sex alone is enough to get him at least marginally jealous. But there is no point in even attempting to seduce -not that I'm very good at it in the first place.- When there are so many restrictions baring me, and a lack of a possessive jerkoff of a boyfriend around. So I can settle for a warm cup of ale -which Mira allows for us younger generations after a hard time, and if we get drunk well then its penense for drinking to much when to young as she says.- Cana is the exception, already drinking from the barrel and showing no signs of slowing even as her bikini gets soaked through and turns purple. Grey is comfortable sleeping off his exhaustion in the corner of the basement, completely nude. Elfman is challenging other men to arm wrestles when Mira comes up to him and accepts he makes a hasty retreat. Loki is pensive in a corner playing with his ring, but smiling all the same when others go up to speak to him. Erza I think best to stay away from, knocking over her special strawberry cake equals nothing but long lasting pain, knowledge I have gained from experience. Master is gazing at everyone with half closed lids -maybe near sleep. Lucy is next to me eating a small amount of food and smiling fondly at the countertop, her hand making staggered little movements like writing on a paper. Happy nurses a fish that had been given to him by Alzack of all people. Who is speaking quietly in a corner with Bisca oblivious to some members murmuring amongst themselves about an upcoming wedding.

I look back away from it all to the bottles on the self, the atmosphere was light, but it reminded me of mine and Laxus's first meeting. Where a bar brawl ended with one man on the ground and I drinking a large mug of milk while a large stranger gazed at me from the counter sipping his mead.

I feel Happy land casually on my head, warm and soft, purring slightly in contentment. I can't help but agree, it's relaxing not having to worry. Plus being a cat must be a pretty nice avidue of existence.

" 'least Lucy seems to get along with everyone now." I hear him add out randomly, and because it is nice I smile wide even if its only for myself. "Hey Natsu?"

"Yeah buddy?" Because Happy is sweet and I don't give him enough.

"I like Lucy, even if she is heavy. She's one of us right?"

"Yeah bud, she's one of us." I feel him nod against me, and snuggle a little into my hair before getting up and flying over to the topic of our conversation. Watching as Lucy smiles as Happy flies over, and Levi joins in a conversation between them involving much laughter and yelling. I am unwittingly joined by Maccou, who really shouldn't be here, but is lucky as Romeo is visiting his mother. He sets his glass of bourbon near me, and casts a coy smile in the direction I had previously been looking.

"So…" He starts, and I know its a start, because Igneel did that exact tone of voice once when about to lecture or mock me. It must be a thing all Fathers know how to do. "Lucy is a rather good looking woman ain't she?" There it is, well timed, and oh so not what I wanted or could bare to hear. I know how he expects me to answer, maybe a blush or a fierce denial, maybe even an agreement. But I give nothing, because yes she is, but clearly this isn't about physical beauty, its about male and female attraction. I know that. I don't care to venture further or encourage his imagination anymore then it spins itself. He was after all, one well known amongst the ladies as a womanizer finding a thrill in the opposite sex that many cannot come close to matching, Wakaba being much the same.

Romeo either had a tall reputation to uphold or a ironclad legacy to dismantle. I am not sure which as he is too young to make any sort of guess as to what sort of man he will be. His father however, is one keen on proving himself correct in the assumption that I am attracted to Lucy. Truthfully, I don't know how to disarm the notion without outing myself or being patronizing in some form to the woman. Neither is my goal, but with my own clumsy tongue I'm bound to do one or the other, and well… One of the choices does put me on a quick journey to the afterlife so it is a relatively easy choice. Be oblivious.

"Huh? Oh yeah, hadn't really noticed." I strug while taking a sip of ale, at best it was a commonality with my brash nature, at worse an insult to Lucy's entire appearance. Maccou visibly choked on his bourbon as he leveled me with complete bafflement. Wakaba, having overheard joined in with even more squinted eyes then normal. His smoke broken voice sounding high above the others in the guild, even if by character he wasn't a loud man.

"Natsu, you have coal for eyes? Not noticing a pretty girl like that, 'otta be a crime. Even for you." I ignore the crack, pretending not to have noticed it as I focus more squarely on the fact that many eyes are now on our conversation, staring in curiosity. The group in which the topic of our conversation resides also fixating deep brown eyes on us. I groan grabbing my head, the situation was already shitty. Maybe if our basement wasn't so small, and the rest of the guild wasn't a pile of rubble I'd have a suitable place to hide.

"Yeah Natsu, c'mon, no need to be shy." Was that the general opinion, then fine, eat at my pride as it may, its better than the alternative, I'll let them think what they want. Best not to respond, I'll let the rumour go, even if it ends with the conclusion that I have an attraction to Lucy in a romantic or even sexual nature. It was bound to happen anyway with how we interact. I seek her company, she looks for mine, we take jobs, we eat together all that stuff, enough for a solid speculation to form. Not to mention the fact that I have seen her naked, which was an accident, and obviously didn't do anything for me. Anyone of sane mind however, would think that there is something laying under the surface, I just don't think they expect it to be in the form of my very much hidden sexual orientation.

Mira is the first after the grizzled males to hop along. Sweet as she may be, she is the Queen of gossip -being the barmaid helps in that regard- and any slice she can get is music to her ears. She is also exceptionally fond of romance scandals. Prying her ears out for whenever I get mentioned, I know for certain she has been dying to set me up with some hot chick, I know, because Elfman whinged about it awhile back.

"What you guys talking about?" The smile hides her wicked intent. The sugar voice a deep seated evil lurking in the shadows waiting for opportunity to pounce.

I answer: "Nothing really." Bland as I can, but my response is overcut by Maccous's laughing and louder voice.

"Just how Natsu has the hots for Lucy." There it is, banging my head on the table is so tempting, that I only manage to not repeatedly smash my forehead in by the mere fact it would make the statement appear true. A (un)pleasant grin spreads on Mirajane's cheeks, as she turns to me with clasped hands. I'm really no good at playing aloof, not naturally, so I take my cues from Grey, its one thing the stripper does with a practised ease that I cannot. I sip at my ale, and try to remain unattached from the talking going on around me, or Mira's hovering and searing eyes, I also avoid Lucy's gaze and stare distractedly at the bottles to the right of her.

I can fight a hand-to-hand combat spar, take down a fellow dragonslayer, rescue a damsel in distress -be that man, woman, or child,- but I cannot, nor have I ever been able to face my greatest foe. Social expectations and personal questions. In this situation, though it would normal have my pride screaming and thrashing to admit; I would give nye anything to have a hero save me -in the form of Laxus preferably, but anyone will do at this point.

To my horror, before I can escape and break away from the untruths the other's are reaching. Erza stands.

Her poise calm and collected, but I see the glee in her eye and it makes me want to run rather then attempting to slyly remove myself. I know Erza, I have known her nearly all my life, and she -as Mira- is inclined to attach herself to potential matchmaking should the opportunity arise. Worst off, with her, I will not be able to refuse without an accusation that I am insulting a woman's honour. My one hope resides in Lucy's ability to stop the situation before it escalates, or decline me without prompt here and now. I do not want to hurt Lucy's feelings or shame her especially publically, but I also don't want them to think I am interested. Or for the attempts of matchmaking to begin, if Evergreen was here she would be right alongside the other terrifying females now smirking ever so slightly in mine and Lucy's directions.

Maybe if I scream really loud Happy will get the message to get me the hell out. But I have never screamed in my life and I was not going to start here and now.

-Well, never screamed in fright I should clarify. Because no doubt if Laxus were here he would see fit to correct me with his smug look; reminding me of that one time we met up in Crocus and I screamed at the top of my lungs during sex. Which also happened to be the same day the headboard of that bed got two large gashes in the wood, and Laxus got some terrible splinters, coincidentally.-

"Man up Natsu! I real man would not be afraid to tell a woman of his feelings!" So says the man unable to admit he is scared of his older sister.

"I should be getting home." I say, because I need an excuse, as a certain red haired woman has no issue strapping me down if necessary. "I'm really sore from the battle, and Happy needs to rest too." I don't add 'I also need to go drown myself in the river while I'm at it.' That, goes unsaid as many of the males and some other women in the guild understand the hidden meaning of my wanting to hide. They, wisely, don't say anything. At least I'm not entirely lying, anyone can see how Happy is attentive wanting to listen, but also half-asleep.

Exiting into the pile of rubble outside is harrowing, disheartening as memories ingrave even the stone of the now ruined hall. Crying won't return it to normal, so I don't bother with the prickle at my eyes, and if one drops down, well there's no one but a feline unconscious on my head to see it.

I know that if I don't come up with some kind of plan, I will be screwed over tomorrow as the demons descend. I include Lucy in that depiction as well, no doubt she'll want to know if only to be informed, or for the boast of ego.

Tomorrow is not something I look forward too.

* * *

I wake to a clattering, shattering, and generally smashing noise. Which has me bolt upright in a matter of moments, not many can enter my cottage uninvited, and anyone who tries usually finds themselves with a foot to the face. Surprisingly its already day, the sun has clearly been awoken for awhile now, and Happy is nowhere to be found. Which either has to do with whoever is inside or the fact that the guild doors will already be open. I look over my shoulder, and stop breathing.

I hadn't thought I was dreaming, but I suppose I am considering there is no possible way my boyfriend can be standing inside my house at this moment. Nevermind appearing bored and slightly contrite. "I didn't mean to wake you, I was just-" My body works on its own, and I spring on him, wrapping both my arms and legs around his tall and bulky frame without hesitance. Because that's his voice, and his scent, and his energy I feel. I acknowledge the annoyed grunt he gives as the sudden weight of my smaller person is attached to his own, but I don't remove myself, I cannot bare too.

I have never been clingy, so this is obscure to both of us, but I don't think he minds seen as he is holding me close as well. Breathing in deeply near my neck as I take in his scent in turn. Feeling small compared to him has never felt so justified or right, no matter what pride or masculinity has to say on it. I enjoy, relish being smaller than him, it makes it so much easier to hold him. Kind of him to hide the fact that he loves the fact that I am shorter than him, but entirely wasted.

He groans into my ear, I feel the rumble in his chest. It makes me chuckle to know that someone of such rigid control and emotion can be so affected by me. "I missed you so much." He admits, almost too quiet to hear. His hand is tight in my hair, but its not as if I'm not used to pain, and I don't dare complain because I know it will be over quickly as is his ability to deny himself.

Do I want to hold him longer? Yes, but he puts me down, and I must accept that, he is not a very physical man unless it involves intercorse. As is his own important rule he doesn't use his hands to touch other people unless he is in combat -or banging me into the mattress. Simply speaking only fun activities.

He turns to my megar kitchen where I see eggs and bacon cooking and something flutters deep in my chest. Mostly I ignore it, but I do lean up to kiss his cheek, which he accepts with a -supposed to be- hidden pleased grin. Let it be known that Laxus is far from a good cook, but neither am I, and he is better than I, and truthfully I love how he cooks bacon. Best I've ever tasted.

As such I eat almost all of it before I realize that he might not have eaten, the crunch and softness of the meat made me forget. I shift my eyes to him, feeling guilty, he shakes his head and instead focuses on my house. He had never been here before after all. Magnolia was near a foreign land to him, his Father -and Guild Master- had never allowed him to take jobs nearby for some reason. Maybe it is the quaintness of the cottage that he is looking at, but it makes me slightly subconscious that there is so much mess strawn about from me and Happy in equal measure.

"Not that I'm not glad your here, but why are you here? I thought you weren't allowed." There's a snort from my closet, which he is apparently ransacking! I move to punch him but before I can he whistles lowly at my very well hidden collection of more sexy apparel. It was purely for me! Sometimes I need to feel more sensual then I am! Of course he finds it interesting, he would. I settle for a harsh kick on his back which does nothing to someone of his stature. He does laugh a little at the action as he holds up the dark black pair and caresses them with his fingers. Weirdo.

"I bet you look great in these." I make a grab for them and he dodges, presumably so he can continue to strangely caress them.

"What about Ivan, won't he be angry that you came to Magnolia?"

"Do you have a red or white pair?" He asks, seeking.

"Laxus you'll get in trouble, and I don't want him to-"

"FUCK HIM ALRIGHT!?" Instinctively I rear back as he shouts, thunder resounding as a result of his escalated emotion, and it shocks me. A caution I don't normally feel around anyone springing forth in my chest. Anger no where present, only shock stands resolute. He looks much the same as I feel for a moment before he drops the lace and grabs at my right hand gently. "I- I shouldn't have done that. I know you're just worried about me. But I came to see you to avoid him, and I just want to keep him off of my mind. So can we please, not talk about him?" Far be it for him to apologize, but saying please is almost just as rare, so I let it slide because he's trying. I understand only because I understand him, knowing he is already eating himself up over the outburst.

"Its okay Laxus. Everyone loses control sometimes." He's sensitive about it, I know, he likes being the personification of self-control and confidence, usually he is. Yet he punishes himself over the smallest things when it comes to me that I worry for the day where I get hurt near him and he can't do anything. He blames himself to easily, thinking himself as my protector when I cannot defend against a threat -which he knows is rare at best.- "Really, I was just shocked." His visage pervays self-loathing, and it's so very ugly on him. But he dips his frown lightens minutely at my megar reassurance. "Now! C'mon! I'll show you 'round Magnolia! I know all the best spots!" I can afford to be absent for one day after all. Besides I know there is only doom awaiting me in the remains of the guildhall. Even if it is exposed seen as the underlayer had to be closed for repair to the entire building.

He gets up from his station on the floor, and I take his hand in mine. As far as everyone in the guild is concerned I'm in love with Lucy, and the people of Magnolia think I am a complete idiot due to my supposedly pyromantic nature. Not to mention ignorance works to our favour, certainly everyone is straight in their perfect corner of the world, allow them to think that, because I can hold my boyfriend's hand in public without anyone being the wiser. Or we can hide our interlocked fingers under Laxus's large leather coat if we need to.

The day is sun filled and warm despite the cold breeze blowing in from the north. Being as he is by upbringing a stoic man, his face is stone, and due to height and genetics -I assume- intimidating as hell. Making all those who would look closer steir clear, and by the presumption that a man like him couldn't possibly like men -after all everyone knows gay men are slim white youth.- So we were as safe as two gay men can be in an area of heteronormative belief.

He is so warm, and all I can think of is the manner in which my lover holds me at night, and I pray for but a moment, that Laxus should not leave for a long while.

I don't expect him to get on with the good people of my hometown, nor indeed my guildmates holding far to a lightened mindest rigid in its assurity, and though I find him to be far different even accepting then most, I know that Laxus does not agree with the mindset held by most law abiding guilds. For me, he holds his tongue when I get a little to ricious, not that he is afraid of sharing his opinion, but there are some things that couples simply cannot agree on no matter how devoted and well oiled the relationship. Being that is it were, not even I who has spent all my life -most- under the eye of a wizard saint can't agree wholeheartedly with the ideals upheld.

Peppered around are familiar faces, I should have expected as much as the guild was forced to recreate outside completely. Though it seems like their is a repair job in progress, I vere away before they can see me slacking around. The beach is where we end up, and I can't help but take off my shoes as to feel the burning warmth of the sand on my feet, Laxus doesn't follow my lead, but he doesn't say anything in judgement either.

Steel cast eyes resting firm on the remains of my hall. "What happened?" Gesturing to the dismantled castle standing just a little off the shore. All that is left of the Phantom Lord guild, besides the astray people who had once been its members. To an outsider it would look like well, I'm not sure, but it can't be a good impression.

"Phantom attacked, and we beat 'em." I say, because it wasn't very complicated to wizards especially dark ones as my lover who is so accustomed to wars between guilds it could be cited as one of his credentials. Proving this he didn't react other then wrapping his arm around my shoulder, bringing me close, no concerns of appearance as no one was near. Under his coat is like an extra layer of sun to warm anyone underneath, of course, only he and I will experience such a luxury. "Oh, and my entire guild now thinks I'm in love with Lucy." I mention, because its damn annoying, and ridiculous and he of all people would understand that.

"Oh yeah?" He asks, strangely high spirited sounding, and amused at the same time. Pitching his voice in that special way he does only when he thinks something is stupid, but in it there is an air of confidence behind that I am unsued to.

"Stupid old men…. Got Mirajane on it! Oh! And Erza too!" Frightening. "Whole damn guild is gonna be playing matchmaker." He laughs, airily.

"Lucy… Thats the blonde chick you met in Hargeon right?" We stop, facing each other, but he is smiling at me, and the momentary worry I feel dissipates as mist from the air. He looks so natural with the rays of sun glimmering down on his hair and illuminating it, casting a shadow down his ragid scar and making his eyes appear blue and orange.

"Yeah! I thought you weren't listening when I mentioned her! Jerk!" Because I can, he isn't affected, the insult has lost any type of edge, and maybe it never had any to begin with. He indulges me with a brief snort of laughter, not bothering with the real thing. "Then Elfman decided I needed to be a 'real man' and confess my feelings to her." This time he questions with raised eyebrows. "Don't ask where it comes from, no one knows. But he can't talk, he's afraid of his own sister even though she forsook her magic a long time ago."

"Why forsake your own magic?" It was a common question for Mira, and I didn't completely understand it myself, but I know it had to do with Lisanna's death. That had hurt and left empty something in my mind when I thought about it. I know Mira well though, and despite her best self, she had never managed to fully recover.

No matter how much I trust him, I can't tell him anything without Mirajane's permission, it would be wrong. "Guess she just didn't want to be part demon anymore." I answer instead because it was possible, even though it was completely false. For his part Laxus had one of the best reactions I have seen in awhile.

He swallowed after a set of rapid blinking, and breathed deeply. "Right." And continued walking after figuring I wasn't bluffing. Tucking me a little further against his side, as if I needed protecting against some sort of invisible beast, even though we are both well aware that I would probably find a way to attack it before it got to me. One had to learn to accept that no matter how aware Laxus was of mine own abilities and strength, he would always at least attempt to shelter of protect me from harm. It was just… him to try, even if I hated it slightly. At least I have the comfort of knowing that it wasn't on the bases that he thinks me weak. In fact it is of his deep compassion for me that he does so, and for that reason, and that alone, I can accept his protective nature. Now, it is even a little cute, and makes me giggle to consider, not that he can ever be made aware of that.

"Show some damn shame!" A woman shouts from the docks. Her face older and hair greying, a small child on her arm and she guide's their face away from them. I want to be angry at her, mad at her disposition, but, there she is right in a way, there is a child watching and if nothing else I can prove that I am not evil by leaving their mother alone, and ignoring her stupid comments. Moreso, the irritation of having been spotted for something as simple as an embrace is more than a little infuriating. Beside me, Laxus just shrugs her off, and walks away with me under his arm, uncaring of her opinion. Because nothing could mean less to him, though he does look to the young kid behind her and smiles peacefully. Watching him, I can't think of him as anything but the best of people, no matter what the Council, or the law says about dark origins or people of our inclination. Hopefully the young girl can see what I see. We walk away and I feel a moment of dizziness, at the magnitude of emotion arisen within me. "Wait! Aren't you Salamander?"

I flinch.

Laxus hults in his steps, allowing me to take control of the situation. Knowing of my own weakness for conflict, in the manner in which I can never seem to ignore it I suppose he suspects me to engage her. It was not out of want not to that I pull his coat over myself. Recognized or not, provocation or not, there are fights that I do not want to engage in, there was a child behind her, she was a citizen, a million reasons. Of course, that is my reasoning for huddling myself under the large leather coat hanging precariously from my boyfriend instead of doing what he so expected.

It is possible for me to try and stop fighting, at least until I figure myself out a little more, so that my most prominent character trait isn't my violence.

Following my lead with his larger frame Laxus moves forth both of us not bothering with the middle-aged woman. The tight cramping sensation in my chest lessens a little, though I have no explanation for why it had happened in the first place.

"I should go to my guild…" The whisper comes out unbidden, and I instantly regret it. I don't want to be without Laxus for some stupid, sentimental shit. I don't want to think about my state of mind. I know that astray comments don't bug me not when they're directly inflicting me. Was it because she was insulting him as well as myself that made me feel so… insecure? Nervousness was not a feeling I had a normal interaction with, in fact I could say I have only felt it enough to understand what it is like.

He sighs above me and I only just manage to refrain from grasping at his forearm to keep him in place. He stands tall once more, and I had almost forgotten he needs to slouch down in order to properly reach me. "You should go to your guild then." He says simply, and I want to argue with him that I shouldn't but it would be mute point anyway as I was the one who said as much. He seems to sense something, my reluctance I assume, because he looks casually around and bends forward, kissing me more then chastely. The warmth leaves quickly no matter how hard pressed the kiss was, and I stand slightly shocked for a moment, before I feel myself grinning up at him.

In a haze of joy, I pull at his coat slightly were I less than high off of endorphins I wouldn't have even considered it.

"Can… Can I wear you coat for awhile?" He would be in Magnolia for a little bit anyway so it wasn't like it would be a long time. I can barely see the way his eyebrow rises, but I do, even still I know somehow that he will allow it this once.

As soon as I think that he shrugs off the garment and carefully drapes it over me. Needless to say it almost drags on the cobblestone. Our height difference has always been somewhat of a problem, as well as an inside joke between as, laughing at how I couldn't reach his face with my hands without standing on my toes. So the dwarfing of the coat on me was no surprising, even though it was worth it just to here Laxus laugh for but a moment. I put my arms through the sleeves because it was less likely to fall off this way. I wonder if I look ridiculous, but then, I don't actually care either way.

"I'll see if I can find some decent ingredients for dinner. I'll see you later." I wave as he moves in the opposing direction. But he pauses for a moment and looks at me with a sly smile. "Don't get into too much trouble."

"Hey!" Maybe my indignation was false, but it was honestly just too good to have him around to waste being mad at his stupid taunting.

Hopefully Erza won't murder me upon coming into the guild -so to speak- after all, I was expected at least an hour prior to now.

As I presumed, she spots me instintly, casting a dark aura over my very mood in fear factor alone. I back away a little, submission is necessary with her if you don't desire to be killed -at least when she's in a bad mood. She stops suddenly for some reason. Focusing on my head-to-toe figure.

"Did, did you get a new coat?" Forgetting that no one had met Laxus, nevermind seen me wear any type of warm clothing was a gross oversight. Even if it is a little warmer then a fire mage needs -nevermind a dragonslayer of the same element- but I wouldn't take it off and risk it being stolen or the comfort it provided if only subconsciously. But that left the questions from my family that I am unprepared to answer competency.

Grey turns the corner, he wastes not a moment. Because of course he doesn't, laughing instantly as soon as he sets his sights on me and my new fashion. "Where the hell did you get that piece of junk?" Defending Laxus's coat I punch him square in the jaw. Its not mine, but I honestly love this coat, its special, I am not going to let the gross stripper discount it. Quickly recovering I gain a dirty look before he snarls and slams his head into my own, which I meet with equal force a dull pain resonates, but I'm so used to it when fighting Grey it feels like a mere bump on the hand.

"At least I actually wear clothes!"

"Well I didn't spend the day shopping instead of helping my guild repair! Where do you get off?!"

"I wasn't shopping!"

"Explain the coat then moron!"

"Make me!" We didn't get a chance before Erza grabbed both of us by our hair and forced us apart, which is far more painful then a simple headbutt with Grey as it actually stings a little.

"That's enough!" She near yells giving us both a fierce look for having interrupted the workflow and nearly starting a brawl in the construction site of the new hall I imagine. He backs down before I do, which is ashame, because he deserves a good thrashing for what he said about my man- Laxus's! Coat. Making jokes about the coat is basically insulting the blond's honour according to him, or something like that, I wasn't really paying attention at the time. Unspeaking, Ezra points at some stone to be moved and a collection by the otherside being built into a wall by Elfman. Taking that as my cue to leave, I might've said something about fighting Grey because I got a powerful pinch on my arm by the weaponized woman.

The stone is heavy, even by stoneblock standards, and I have to wonder if its for fortification or just to avoid undue damage that Master bought such a heavy brand. Knowing him it was just to laugh while we toil. I try not to think about that, I know Gramps isn't in the best health and due to his fall and illness because of Phantom he probably shouldn't help out.

"Man, I though Grey was kidding when he said you were shopping." The only Strauss male said, not looking to me as he applied another stone onto the growing wall. "So unmanly…" Not fighting is harder then I thought. Saying that is just insulting to everyone involved.

But its made easier by the fact that I have to push the sleeves all the way to my shoulders un order to lift each rock.

* * *

There is a makeshift gathering/cafeteria area nearest where the main hall had been. Apparently the bar had survived because as usual Mira stood behind offering each person a glass of something to ease their muscles after all their hard work. The barmaid with a lively smile as was her staple, and making the more glum persons smile a little.

Slightly hesitant in cause of my absence this morning -and most of the afternoon, I near where Mirajane is, hoping for a quick bite to eat. Master is sitting on the counter nearby and nursing a mead, not yet drunk. Cana is begging for some alcohol -and being ignored as I am spotted by the deep blue eyes first.

"Oh hello Natsu. Glad you joined us." A moment later she blinked. "Oh my, that's quite the fashion statement." There was no attempt to hide her amusement, although, to be just, I probably look quite strange. At least I can take comfort in the garment, the brief confrontation with that woman really caused my nerves to go into overdrive and that hasn't happened in a very long time. I remember, the last time I was confronted with a break of mind was when Laxus had asked me on a date. Which had ended in a disaster -well in a sense.-

To glance around its not difficult to understand that the design is vastly different from the one I had grown up with, its… almost uncomfortable.

The unfamiliarity doesn't seem to affect anyone but me, and as result my eyes search for any sign of uncertainty in my comrades, but there is nothing. Which I consider to be unbecoming yet relieving as it may simply be my own attachment. I garner some uncomprehending looks, and Elfman I know is fiercely holding his tongue, which is appreciated, though the pierced visage is nearly not worth it.

The evening brings a cold breeze, and the coat blocks it out as inconvenience. No wonder Laxus loves this thing so much.

"So what is with that shit you call a coat?" Finally Grey, regains the question he wanted to ask before Erza had called a ceasefire, and my irritation spikes. Its not a strange thing to wear clothes! But of course the stripper who doesn't even enjoy wearing them like the rest of us would make a point to draw attention to something thats not all that strange.

"None of your business frost for brains." It isn't as if I owe him an explanation.

"What you say?!" He seems to think the opposite, which is irritating enough. Could the guy not focus on something else?

"You heard me!" Once more, anger froths in my chest, and I see a tinge of crimson at the corner most of my vision, hells rage igniting once again, and I don't know if that was something I wanted anymore or not. Someone stands before either of us can start a brawl, although it does look like even with sore muscles the most active members are raring to go. It turns out to be Alzack.

"C'mon guys let's not start anything, we're still rebuilding." Nearby as she always is, Bisca nods. I can see his logic, as can Grey, we both back off with a mutterance. "Seriously though Natsu," I look to the black haired man, he's giving me a simple gaze nothing more than kindness in his soft face. "What's with the coat?" Obscurely, I feel my face and ears heat, a blaze lit underneath them. I don't know how to respond, clearly, I can't state the truth, it would be really stupid, but I wish I could to an extent. Hiding my love for people has never come easy, I enjoy being emotional, and connecting with others, I like being able to say that I found that precious thing that individuals look so hard and long for. Its unfair that I cannot.

Alzack could admit to Bisca, but he is simply to shy, dettered by the fact she may reject him, and leave their comfortable partnership. But the fact is, he can say that he loves her without… ridicule, shame, or glances of distrust. Not wondering how his friends think of him, because we are all aware of his affections. That's not something people like me have the luxury of.

They wouldn't understand either.

I say nothing, and my silence has my lips feeling glued together.

A plague of silence sweeps across the guild, no one is adapted to me not retorting to something I suppose. I just don't want to get angry at every inclined insult thrown my way. However, to the guild, it must be something of a personality shift.

Its rare for home, to feel so unwelcoming.

I back away. The atmosphere of curiosity mixed with bubbling bewilderment, and judgement is stuffling, and finding my boyfriend amongst all of Magnolia is beginning to sound far more appealing than staying and letting events unfold before me.

I don't really know how describe what it feels like. I don't really understand my own emotions most of the time.

But. Its as if in a place of comfort and family, of familiarity and understanding I am an outlier. A sickness or wrong that is infesting the space and creating only desimation. Fitting, as that's what I do anywhere I may roam. Never have I felt so unjustly…. Wrong, abnormal, and strange surrounded by people I have known all my life.

I'm abnormal here amongst normality.

Everyone within my guild has the proper viewpoints, the correct way of life, and I am the sick one within their ranks, tarnishing them.

I don't feel human like them. I was raised by a dragon, and maybe thats it. But, I don't understand them, maybe I never have. The Magic Council has laws, traditions, customs and expectation of wizards that are strictly upheld. I don't understand them, for all of me, I cannot comprehend them.

I know I am a person, but I wasn't made to think like them. Girls, women, I've never even thought that way because I knew I couldn't. But I should. They, Fairytail thinks I do.

A lier,

A sinner,

An abnormality.

I have never done it before. Never turned my back on something terrifying but-

I run away.

It doesn't matter they all think I hold feelings for Lucy, it doesn't matter that it was a simple question that had my thoughts wheeling out of control. It doesn't matter that as I ran I heard them calling me back, and the tears going fast and painful down my cheeks.

It doesn't matter because the only things that I know about myself, the things that aren't anger or temperament, continuous hunger and ability to fight, the only things that aren't obvious, that I know of myself, I can't tell anyone. Not even my family nor my friends, people I trust with my life- but not with me.

I run so fast away that my legs hurt and I have a stitch in my side once I reach my house. The coat sliding off my shoulders is enough to make me feel more insecure. Its worse, because I have never felt like this before. So strange and unnerved, scared.

I hear Laxus come up the hill, and I know its him because his scent lingers in my nose. I don't dare turn around, he's seen me cry, he saw me cry not long before, but I still don't want to face him like this. Feeling so weak and unsure. Maybe he understands, maybe he can feel it as without a word he holds me to him, and the affection is soothing from my own inner conflict. I feel his chin on my head, and know that he is using the hill to get smaller. No matter how unsure, there are things I know. One of them:

"I love you Laxus." He shifts above me leaning weight just a little onto me.

"You remember what you said a few nights ago?" I recall, considering it had been on my mind for the past two days, unrelenting, and causing me to act in a manner uncommon for myself, I know he thought it was strange, I remember the pained expression all too well, it had been ingrained.

I never want to see that… Look on him again.


	3. Chapter 3

"You don't see yourself." Because he lacks the understanding that I hold, the knowledge of my vision, perception that keeps me so attached to all that he is. Morally superior, unequivocal to any other I have known. But I can't say or admit the powerful baring uncommon within me he holds in his grasp. From persona to manner, to the way he roles and hits me in the chest in sleep. Nothing is unimportant about him. I know, and the understanding I grapple with; he does not see how irreplaceable he is.

So I stand there, keeping him under the shelter of my arms, because he is weeping now, even though he doesn't want me to see. I feel his body shake, the hiccups that resonate in his chest. Until just recently I have never seen a echo of negativity in him, not sadness. I wonder if failure follows me so swiftly, to not have noticed the crawling pace of depression or anxiety burrow inside his mind. Failure is my accomplase, and I thought for a shining luminescent moment that as apology, I was given Natsu. Redemption perhaps, it doesn't matter, a chance to feel successful in the way I dictated my life for once. He is not perfection, but he is the most influential thing in my life, I would do anything for him. Even if he should crumble under himself and become something malicious, I would slaughter for him. Even though I hate death.

The one thing I have present. One thing I can love no matter what.

What caused his tears? His nerves to flare? I know him well, insecurity doesn't become him, yet a lingering motion seeps through him and gains momentum. I would do anything for him, even though he has never asked.

Except once, today was the only day he had want for something from me. In the simplest of forms, my coat. The only reasoning I can find, is the women at the docks, her cruel taunting, the child behind her oblivious but no less oppressed. Or PhantomLord's attack on his guild, insult and dismantling of a place he considers home more then his cottage, the injury and affront to his friends and family, the pain they inflicted.

I harbour no attachment to Fairytail, only their Salamander carries my interest. Revenge for what they had done to him had been all I could think about since he cried in front of me. Helplessness so redundant because I could not even comfort him when it was needed so desperately. What type of man watches their lover distress and does nothing. A failure. Myself, with nothing to lose in life, apart from the everything I hold in my embrace.

I have no charm with words, no charisma, a vocabulary more filled with cusses then fluidity. I fight with sentimentality when speaking, because open verbal sentiment is weakness. With him however… I would learn every word, study the dictionary itself in order to properly express what I feel for him. About him.

"You don't know yourself you said. Well, I know you. Natsu… I would move the world if you asked me too." His sobs get louder, but he turns to me with a shaken and such joyful expression that his body looks to be acting on its own. A coy look rests in his eyes, challenging me to finish what I was going to say, there is too much. Strong is the most bland word to describe him in battle or brawl. Still, I can't help but filter to my instinct, what I wish against what I understand of him. "I want to break Phantomlord myself, all that hurt you, all that left a bruise on your skin. So that I may watch your eyes fill with invigoration." Its Dark desire, garnered from years spent negotiating, fighting, and living in a guild outside of the boundaries of law. Shameful in the manner in which it neglects how he is capable.

But he smiles at me sensually, even with tears on his face, there is an alluring redness to his cheeks that has me enthralled. He leans into me, and the arousal is not something I saw coming. Welcome though it is. He slides his hands up to cup around my neck gently. I know he is looking for escape from himself, but given his position in self as it is, I don't want to deny him. "Its been a long time… You didn't have fun with anyone else did you?" Its unusual for him to be subtle, but maybe the thought of someone else with me has him recoiling.

"Only you." I add, because expectations of dark wizards or not, I have never been with anyone else since the evening I spent the night with Natsu. I could never dare afterwards.

"I want you. Please, make me feel good my Laxus." He knows me well, my strength to deny him is only as deep as the lingerence of morning dew, within existence but wholy not substantial to anything. Many would declare it weakness, a type of servitude to another -nevermind another man- but with the angle my world tilts upon itself he is the pull that keeps it from simply spinning upside down.

Unfortunate for the both of us, sometimes what he asks of me is less of a favour to him, and more of an escape.

* * *

It is late evening when I wake, eyes poised to see the orange glow amongst the room and the small bed making my legs slightly numb. I had managed to slip into a pair of briefs after our late afternoon exploration of each other, so I am unashamed to go outside to face the destruction of a bystanding tree as Natsu works off apparent frustration. No magic involved but his physical duress, and the flexion of his abs, biceps and leg work which have me in rapid attention despite having just slept off a more violent round of sex. The light in his eyes is daughtingly attractive, and I think he knows how it affects my better judgement -and my lower regions- because I get a sly glance over before the tree falls down and he gives it a disappointed stare.

Even still, what had me almost at arasual -luckily not because of previous actions- is the fact that he is _wearing_ my coat. A thrill I hadn't imagined possible outside the fight shoots directly through my spine at the sight of it on his shoulders. The way it moves on him -overbearing, unfitting, and almost covering him completely is boiling my blood in desire. I wasn't even aware he liked the leather that much.

It falls, parts more like from his shoulders both and catches at his elbows. Looking almost like one of the silken robes I had found in his closet and the vision does horrible things to my head as my body tries desperately to invigorate itself. With such a pleasant image I don't want to spoil by thinking of unpleasant things but I have to do something to avoid attempting to shove him against the nearby tree. Because I will, and he would welcome it given the sultary visage his face is twisting itself into. He enjoys sex even more than I do which is conclusive of something considering the vast majority of partners I had before he fought his way into my interest at that bar.

With the parting of the fabric from his collarbone and shoulder however, is the view of the marks I had left some red, others purple, and that placates me a little. I no doubt have an equal amount, however I am lucky that they always land on my chest and abdomen where I keep his solely around his neck area.

He looks mawled.

Reason enough why I always force myself to not leave evidence of our love making on his person.

" _For once! Please! Laxus! Just this once!"_

This time I wasn't exactly given a choice.

" _...If you do they won't think I'm in love with Lucy anymore. No. One. Else."_

Obviously, there was no alternative.

I know Natsu well enough to site each one of his friends names and characteristics. Which is how I know it is the frightful -and now peaceful Mirajane staring at me from just a little ways down the hill. I pay her no attention, I don't want to incline her opportunity, but it is far from ideal that I am without clothes, and covered in marks equal to my Natsu. If she has mind, she will not conclude falsely as to the nature of our relationship. Doubtful she could have me locked away, being in a guild such as mine disrespecting the law is literally our main disposition, but my lover on the other hand is an entirely different matter. Should she attempt to have him put away drastic measures will have to be taken, either a forceful transition of the fire dragon to my side of the law. Or, I hult the entire situation before it has a chance to begin.

Lightning already crawls down my fingertips, body tensing in regret. I have never revelled in the idea or perspective of killing someone, though I have done so numerous times, often without complaint. This is slightly different, Natsu had known this woman all his life, they were friends, family. Should her whims put him in harm's way however… I doubt I would so much as hesitate.

I wonder what Natsu the fighter will do when confronted by someone he cares for? I wonder what Natsu the uncertain will do. My answer; his retreat, he backs slowly away from her eyes, avoiding her as best he can, diverting himself from the situation and attempting not to be noticed. Her eyes are keen however, and they rest upon him within a moment. She assesses, then smiles, wistful for a beat, then brightly and kind in nature. The magic coiling in me in preparation flees.

Then she asks without any form of hesitance, no trace of disgust "Is this your boyfriend Natsu?" I move my eyes from her, proven as she is not a threat. I am thankful for my ungiving expression of neutrality, as I attempt to understand what his mind is reeling upon. Uncommon or not, her disposition grants us rare opportunity to have an external ear, and a friend of sympathy. I would not be so forward as to trust her, given as I know not her character, by my lover does. Therefore it is his decision to make presently.

Indicivally he stands, continually uncertain of himself and others, he knows not his position as a member of society, nor as a person to himself. His guild is the only medium in which he has reason or caricature, but not one he is sure he wants to be known by. The young woman stands patiently, non expectant, stance unthreatening and calm in aura.

Black slanted eyes glint at me then to her far quicker then I have seen in a long time indeed. Nerves are waring him, winning it so seems. Alas, the assault is therefore unexpected. I think it to be a combination of stress, nerves, adrenaline, and indecision, that brings him to grasp upon my shoulders: forcefully wrench himself upwards and kiss me in an erotic manner so unsuited for civitally that the poor woman watching must not be comfortable in her dress.

In shock I don't have the time to return the favour before he breaks off, the loud smacking sound of our lips parting giving him redness to his ears before he turns to his friend with a poised confidence. Its false, but only I could know that. Dainty hands cover her mouth so slightly as she lets forth an uproarious laughter spilling out amongst the wildlife and flora. Natsu looks close to deflating, even as anger crosses his expression, I know that to not be his true feeling, and I steady him with my hand on the curvature of his back.

Mentally, I remind myself that she has proven herself to be of agreement, and not a threat, but it is a forceful thing with the way my boyfriend is holding himself, he is not one adapt to fits of nervousness and self-doubt so it is merely a product of his current disposition. I have to remember that fact before acting rashly in his defence.

Eventually she regains herself. "Sorry Natsu, that was just so… cute! I couldn't resist!" He finally breaths, and as I had been waiting for that I do so as well.

"It's not a problem Mira?"

"Not at all! I know a few things about not being accepted." She winks, and I suppose it must be an inside joke or understanding because I don't understand the hidden meaning as Natsu does. Still my mind is eased by the untensing of his back as they ease into a calm disposition of friendship.

It was with her gaze straying to me once more did I have the understanding that I was in a comparable situation. Perhaps I was not the most well documented dark wizard, but I am known. Natsu must have had this revelation, or at least I can hope he doesn't always work these things out by himself.

"I'm Mirajane, it's so nice to meet you. Although I didn't expect you to be so… undressed." She grins, and I decide I like her. She doesn't seem bothered by my lack of modesty.

She turned to me, not unkindly in a manner screaming of curious intent. Despite this however, she didn't ask much of me, only seemed curious of my personality and the way in which Natsu and I had reached a relationship. Naturally my boyfriend had already returned to his usual temperament, albeit a slight bit more extreme then I'm used to. The show of bravado slightly more earnest then when in moments of solitude or a solo fight. It leaves me to assume that this is his behaviour around the majority of his guild. The young lady doesn't seem fazed by it, so there was enough information to assume that much. Her eye caught mine, within mere moments a twitch of her brow was designated not enough for Natsu who was speaking in the happiest of tones to realize, but I knew well enough the look of secrecy.

For the sake of understanding a clasp upon his elbow and draw his attention. Picking on his pride in order to get him to make haste. "Maybe you should change." It wasn't as if he had a care that the marks I had left were shown, it was the image he displayed of himself would be broken if knowledge of wearing such a large coat near nudity would spread blindly. As predicted I was offered a pouting look before he shot towards the cottage. Mirajane walked up next to me.

Her tone was gentle as if speaking to a frightened animal, and her posture uncaring like a predator in complete confidence of her dominance over the fields. "I know who you are." Plainly it was near demonic her tone of complete nonchalance. "There are rumours about you… and your guild, possessing lightning magic and the right hand of Ivan Dreyar. Why serve a man like him?" I glare at her, not that she can be aware of why I do it. Her smile doesn't falter however, her disposition is not accusing. "I asking because of Natsu. You know how he is. I've suspected something was off for awhile, he's been more comfortable in solitude then he used to be. Holding his scarf, he doesn't do that unless he's depressed." I didn't know that of course. Knowing that he had been sorrowful is a painful consideration. Being a man of ludicrous happiness, I had considered him incapable of true depression for a long time now, regardless of moments in weakness.

"I didn't have a choice in what guild I entered. My father was… unreasoned. My affections for Natsu aren't relevant in my affiliation." Her sudden shift unbalanced my conviction.

"Yes they are. Look. Natsu is a tough man, he always has been with devil-may-care attitude and strength of a man three times his size. But! That does not make him impervious to emotions. I've known him a long time, I know when he's struggling, and I can see it plain as day, you must as well. I've never seen him act so vulnerable as he does around you, and I know its odd to say, but I think its a good thing." Her gaze glances behind her, and in that moment I consider her words. I cannot fathom the depth of his isolation, regardless of whom I have in my guild it is more accepted in dark circles to be homosexual. And in that I have comfort, Natsu does not, he is confused as to who he is, and one of the few things he can use as a baseline is taken from him in prejudice. I hadn't considered it. Surprisingly Natsu was far more an expert on emotion then I, and even then, he feels predominately, only anger and love for myself, now sadness. So I suppose that speaks largely on my disposition.

Mirajane sighs before me, though her face is compassionate.

"Honestly its not my place to offer. But… Perhaps you should join Fairytail." She must be completely insane.

"I doubt I could function in a light guild." Is all I say, I'm avoiding being rude. Natsu bounds ungracefully down the hill from the cottage having put on his usual attire, a natural smile on his face.

"What you guys talking about?" The woman turns to him with her dress spinning slightly, an illusive grin present.

"Oh, we were just talking about guilds…. Incidentally. Is your boyfriend in a guild Natsu?" 'What?' She clasped her hands together. "He should join Fairytail! We could use some more muscle!" Insane. Completely, my functionality in a light guild would be detrimental at best. She is-

"No way! He couldn't he's…" Natsu takes a moment to think of an excuse. Mirajane crosses her arms under her chest.

"I give in, I know he's in a dark guild Natsu. But I think it would be a good idea for a change of pace don't you? Besides we could actually use an extra set of hands, a lot of members quit after the Phantom incident." He huffed before me, yet his chin tilted away. Consideration I must stop. I point in the direction adjacent to the lady so slyly attempting to manipulate the situation.

"Just give us a moment Mira!" He yells as I drag his warm hand to the corner. "Lax-"

"You can't seriously be considering this." He pouts proudly. Fists on hips. Glaring definitely.

"Its not a bad idea! You could-"

"Natsu-"

"Please!"

"Fine." And that was the swift end of it. He jumps on me, and I hold him, wondering how I could have possibly become such a pushover. He swings his hand up hitting me direct in the chin as he waved to Mirajane watching us.

"Mira! He agreed!"

Insane


	4. Chapter 4

_The pub was a place where every dark wizard eventually ended up, be that through influence or coercion, job or whim. It was merely standard among those aware of the tradition. Occasionally the odd light man or woman would stroll through, there was not much fuss made either way. The owners were good people with a comfort to provide for all, they didn't much care for the hidden barrier blocking the two types of wizards. Those of light decent were none the wiser, which was just as well for those seeking their solstice._

_I had been here many times over the years, so much I have been contrived as a regular since sixteen. My dumbass father had taken me here young, so I was well known. Not to be messed with, said those with experience to the newcomers. A place of merriment fighting wasn't really tolerated unless it had merit. Often those who sought a challenge were just itchy._

_I nurse a mead. My job had been taxing this time, stupid old folk with nothing of value getting caught up in a battle of property of all things. I'd seen fit to leave without getting paid, I wasn't about to kill a grieving widow for something she had no knowledge of. Her son deserved the beating I gave him though. Maybe that's why I drink, she kept begging me to stop. Suppose I don't know any better anymore._

_The door creaked open, rusted latches not yet giving in to the ware of time, as yet another person with something to want from a drink walks through. A woman beside me with the plain features of a milkmaid sits up, something about the stranger must have caught her eye. None of my business who gets laid or not. Lots of ladies had been giving me the eye since I walked in, I could get away for a night if I want too. But needless sex had never really appealed to me, and the girls glancing are those who I know to be the whores of the area, I don't need some freaky STD._

_The violent crash behind me drives out a sigh, and I look around peering from the corner of my eye._

_Time runs slowly as a flash of pink is all I catch. I feel my body shift towards the commotion. Standing at the bar now watching as a fantastic display of violence and shocking grace as one of the most peculiar men I have ever seen grapples the well known tough guy of the pub. Holding him down on the floor with strong arms and thighs, a grin on his face so ridiculously ecstatic that I find myself watching a type of sparkling magnificence. The man beneath him struggling and grunting in effort. Pinkie catches my eyes, and the fire within is so bright that I find my mouth dry._

_He's young, I can tell that much, baby fat remains around his jaw and fattening his cheeks out. But his body moves and contorts in a downright erotic fashion, can I really be blamed for watching?_

_"You got a problem buddy?!" The challenge he presents is interesting, but I can sense his magic is weak compared to mine, he must as well. I don't take the bait. Instead, I find my head shaking, and a pickup line spilling forth before I can stop myself._

_"Nah, just enjoying the view, have to say, its a nice one. Though I'd prefer if your thighs were around my waist, or hips, whatever you prefer." His cheeks take only moments so blaze, and within the span of a minute a man of little hesitance and clear ability becomes a blushing virgin. It would be so endearing if we weren't within a pub full of men with non-disputable reputations. Not mentioning the fact that I have no idea of his affiliation or age._

_Still, something must have caught his interest as he quirks me a coy smile. "I've tried the hips method, not a fan myself. I enjoy the challenge dominating from the bottom. If you think you can handle me, buddy." I have never wanted to fuck someone so badly in my life. I have to will away arousal. Something about this tiny man with the pinkest hair I've ever seen makes me want to find out more._

_"Can I buy you a drink?" Its abnormal for me to do anything more than dive for the main activity, then again, this one is something special anyway. He lets the poor loser up and walks over._

_"You ain't worried about trouble?" It takes me a second to reason with his indecision, but in glancing at the red emblem on his shoulder I get it. Fairytail was my Pop's old guild, and a light one at that, meaning gay sex is more than a little taboo. Although, he obviously has no idea of how many dark wizards are around him and more than a little familiar with my uncaring nature towards gender. I answer with an eyebrow, he scoffs, but his hands twine together nervously. He's obviously had sex before, but I doubt that's the issue here._

_"Nah, that kinda thing doesn't matter here," I say, because fuck the laws the light guild has, what kinda authority do they have where they think choosing the way someone interacts is okay? The guy smiles a little, even if his expression is confused. His body is near enough that I can grab his arm and pull him to the counter, not something he takes kindly, but shockingly he doesn't fight it. Taking the shot offered by the bartender -and owner- seemingly to ease himself. "Would it be too forward to ask you out?" The question is not one I can even consider regretting. Once more a strange type of hesitant confidence emerges from him._

_"Not at all. Though, I think I'd better know your name before I agree." Holy shit._

_"Laxus." He leans his elbow on the counter, a plain act of seduction, but with him, it was clear that was unintended, which made it all the more seductive._

_"Natsu Dragneel."_

* * *

Now if I had been told that date would lead me to join a light guild, I would punch the accuser in the face, no semblance of regret forthcoming. Presently, however, it only took a simple understanding of his grasp upon me to figure out that this was inevitable.

He is jumping around, in a type of way I am vastly unaccustomed too. Although it is well known that he is one of extensive energy and normally held a joyous disposition this was to an extent that was almost overdone, even for him.

As it stands I am making my way to Natsu's guild, Mirajane nearby. Of course given that the master of the guild and I are related both me and Natsu had decided silently that my real name should not be one of discussion. It is mere luck the woman beside is unaware of my name. Although, Natsu is rather unaware of my relation to Makarov and should my desire be followed he will never have that knowledge. Maybe I consider this a cleansing of sorts, in a manner of new functionality. Not in the way that I think I will be reborn or some nonsense like that. Still, it is a form of reformation, and as my father will hopefully be oblivious for a long time yet I can indulge in-

"-nd we can take lots of jobs together! I think you and Gramps will get along, don't be mean though!" His presence. Not of common opinion, I'm sure, that my attention is fully grasping what he is saying.

"Slow down pinkie, I still have to actually get accepted." He stops for only a moment before becoming righteous.

"Then I'll just have to beat up everyone who says you aren't!" There's no reasoning when he's motivated. So I don't bother. I do wonder, I always have wondered what his family is like.

You wouldn't consider in glancing at him, but I do think he would be a good parent. I say this with an understanding of his true self. Despite my own need to slap myself in considering that. My eyes draw to him, as I see him staring at me blush colouring his face in the way it only does around me. He was thinking of something scandalous or embarrassing. In teasing, I smirk.

"Jerk!" And with that, he runs off.

"He's elated you know?" She says next to me, sweet voice and hardened eyes of knowing malice.

"I know." It's not a stretch to assume she is wary of my associations. I would too, entanglement within the dark arts is more than slightly dangerous company no matter how good, the intent can kill without provocation always remains the most deadly outcome.

The only soothing she gets is the fact that Natsu is comfortable around me. Then again that is with the knowledge that he is a very innocent man when it comes to trusting nature.

"Natsu trusts you." I would question her knowledge of my mental workings, if it weren't for the fact that she had been apprehensive of me from the beginning. Although she had clearly used Natsu's persuasion on me in order to get me to join the guild, it was for his benefit not her own. "Do anything to endanger my guild... it will be unpleasant." While said through sugar painted lips, I believe her.

I grunt in understanding.

Through the streets of Magnolia, bustling with merchants and travelers, I glimpse on the rooftops the pink-haired menace I call my boyfriend. He jumps beside us in a state of almost mocking joy. I wonder if he even reached his guild or if he simply ran to get rid of some of his extra energy. Either way, his bouncing around makes his cherry blossom locks bob around his face, I smile, because honestly if he's this happy about me -attempting to- join, I should have tried to do it a lot earlier.

"Come here you little shit." He has always complained about that one, but I think he just allows it simply because it's affectionate. He does, and I move my hand to the dip of his back as a form of self-comfort, he is beaming. As the guildhall comes into view, I note that the reconstruction is going very fast, they have only to finish the roof and a few walls. Otherwise, it bears the appearance of a guild hall. Especially with the abundance of people laughing about. I see a small old man upon one of the walls grinning in fond amusement.

He must be my grandfather. I hope I bare as little resemblance to my father as I was previously told. It's difficult to understand how to feel.

"You okay?" Natsu asks, for him to notice my discomfort, I must be pronouncing it unintentionally. That being said, there are some things I need to talk to him about privately. He stops me before I can say anything. I want to put this kinda thing gently but in resonance with my character, I know that to be unlikely at best.

"Natsu.." Looking at him now the words almost catch me, and hesitance bubbles forth in a way wholly unfamiliar. His so open, eyes wide in trusting disposition, face contorted in compassion, even his body which is so hardened to anyone else, soften to my touch. I would do anything to avoid him being put in harm's way, even though I know that's not what he wants, and it would be a waste of amazing battle abilities to suspend him from any fight. In a move of incaution, he leans further into my space.

"I…" He shuts his mouth, the wind roars so loudly between us. I feel how tense he is no need to look close, I know well enough that his muscles are fighting to restrain an emotional impulse of some kind. To speak words that could be condemned in some form. Its stupid, he knows my feelings for him. Yet, occasionally he will have the need to distance himself from my judgment in order to better decide for himself. I will admit it irritates me sometimes, the selfish desire, of course, to wish for complete disclosure from someone raised by a dragon, or indeed anyone. Still, I wait, patient, even as he begins to shake in frustration. He stutters in walking a little closer, our bodies barely centimeters apart now.

"I want to introduce you as my boyfriend."

Warmth, not a factor. I consider what that would do to him. He has numerous times elaborated that Fairytail is very much his family, friends, and bonds of attachment strong in every corner. Should he pursue that action then there is every possibility that he will get rejected by those he loves. That kind of emotional impact effects mentality in nearly all things, should this be driven by impulse then he would be sacrificing.

"Natsu that not-"

"I don't care! I know it's stupid! I know what might happen okay?! But if they can't accept who I am then who are they to me?!" He is impassioned, which a bad situation. With his determination so high there is little I can do to change his mind. If its what he wants.

"Okay…" His grin is large and reaches his eyes, I subdue the automatic response to smile back in respect for the seriousness of the situation. "But! We have to do this in steps you got it?" I suppose its due to the rarity of my strictness regarding him that he only nods instead of arguing. "First, you tell your master that you are interested in men and that you would like to bring me into the fold. Then you tell your guild of your orientation and that I will be joining. If there is minimal issue then I will proceed to not appear like a dark wizard, clear?" He shifts his weight abruptly, for a second it appears as if he will collapse on top of me. Beside us, Mirajane walks forward placing herself at both our sides. I had all but forgotten she was there.

"I'll help." She moves her gaze to Natsu, being forth an intense stare that I don't understand as the outsider. He does though, and in turn, he lights up.

"Thanks, Mira!" Still, he seems unsure, for he rests his hand on my folded arm.

"Don't change yourself. You know I don't care how you look, and they shouldn't either!" I can tell he is worried, there is a caution to his words and movements, I'm aware he does not want to disclose anything to his guild. But he knows well enough of the consequences that he is putting forth little struggle to the position we have found ourselves in.

* * *

I have never before held myself back from my own home. Instilled in me now is comprehension, the knowledge that I must now carry forth as I proceed with my actions being what they were. Running as a coward away from my guild. Leaving Happy alone, and my comrades, friends, and family confused. Though in myself I can no longer deny that if I truly want to discover myself as I had told Laxus then acceptance is the first step. Maybe this was only a part I was missing, in order to fully grasp the fact that being different from most does not make me disgusting or wrong. I am not sinful or reproachful, nothing like that. I am me, within whatever boundaries that may be. Discovered or not. If my family does not accept myself then they will have to step backward from me.

I breathe deeply as my father told me when scared of anything. This fear will serve me nothing but paranoia. Gazing at the structure of my new guildhall I recognize the design of an old citadel. My guild is truly amazing to have finished construction so fast, though I am certain there is more to be done. I open the doors and am greeted by the largest of halls. Similar to Phantom's when we had stormed their gates, perhaps gramps had taken inspiration from them.

All eyes spin to me, feeling as taunt no matter my understanding it is much the opposite. They harbor concern due to my fast exit the other day. A cowards retreat, though I doubt they counted it as such. The bar is larger, and as ever gramps sits upon its counter sipping an ale, his eyebrows speak for him in this instance, staring at me as all the others. I've never been the best at centering myself, still, I make an effort now in approaching what is certainly my most important decision of personal virtue.

He puts down his drink as I draw near. Curiosity peaked. For once there is a manner to me that he does not recognize well. I suppose it must be the cause of seriousness that Laxus had so described as professionalism.

"Master, can I speak to you?" I think for a moment, "privately?" At this, he falters an expression befalling him that I could not begin to describe. One of shock would be the most apt I do think.

"Of course my boy, I believe my office was just recently finished." Out of the corner of my eye as we leave I see Lucy stand quickly, hand clutched to her breast a dust of red covering her face. I wonder at that before the following gramps through some not quite finished halls. There is a draft through the walls, still, it feels quite warm within, some form of magic I would assume. We pass through a door, off its hinges, large and ornate. Inside reside a large desk and modest furnishings.

The master sits on his desk without a care. I feel awkward sitting in the plush crimson chair, and I see my palms are covered in sweat. Speaking plainly enough of my disposition. "Gramps… I have something to confess." I want to say nothing at all, but that is not an option. I will not hide any longer, that is only cowardice. It would go against what Dad taught me, and I refuse to do disrespect him any longer.

"I- I'm gay." He blinks a moment, and I hold still as I can, my mind once more telling me to run, but I daren't, I know what may become of me, and I don't care anymore. I will not deny myself, no matter how my breath sticks within my chest, the lightness in my limbs and head I can ignore. Providing explanation seems only stupid to me, so I'll let him draw what he will. He sighs, and I feel it, the weight dropping beneath me. Am I to be banished? The uncertainty is terrifying, more so than any battle. I want to move, to get out, to lash out, and it's so confusing I can do nothing but sit in fear.

"Natsu." I hadn't realized I was looking at the stone ground until his voice sounds above me, I look forward, he is smiling. "I'm so sorry my boy, you must have been so frightened."

"Huh?" He gives out a chuckle.

"Oh, I don't worry about all that council member prattle, they can go screw themselves as far as I'm concerned. You love who you love, they have no business meddling with that." Maybe it's because of my limited experience in expressing my sexuality, but I do think that is not a common position. Nevertheless, I can only collapse against the chair in relief, all heaviness vacant. I do see, however, a grin form on him. "So, is there a special man in your life?" He slyly smiles not missing a beat.

"Well actually-" I can't think too hard about it, but I am well aware that thinking of Laxus only brings a stupid grin to my face.

"Really?! Am I to meet this young man soon?" I let loose a laugh, it comforting to have support, Mira and Gramps, I only hope I can rely on the guild as well.

"Well, I was wondering if he could join the guild actually? He's a really powerful wizard! He's not the best with rules, but he's respectful of-"

"He can." I wasn't expecting such a response. It was quick, and I haven't had to advocate much.

"Really?" I get a sly look.

"Of course, I have to threaten him properly after all." Oh god. I hope not. I doubt Laxus will respond well to a threat, I guess I'll have to warn him beforehand. Suddenly Makarov becomes serious, though it is with kind eyes. "Do you plan to inform the rest of the guild?"

"Yeah." He lets loose a loud breath. A shake of the head and a haunted look crosses him, a recollection I am not privy to.

"I can't say everyone will accept it, the younger generation- your generation, should take it more easily. However, some of the older folks may be sketchy about it. Though I doubt they will be forward." That's a little more hopeful then I was willing to be, but I have faith that they will want to keep me within the guild, so they might not chase me off. He looked at my twining fingers. "Do you want me to say something instead? It might be received better." Now, in a normal circumstance that would not be an option, I would not even take it into consideration. But even I know how fragile this could be, and with him being guildmaster, they may listen to him better.

"I-" Want to decline, but I honestly can't, this is not something I can just idly outcry without issue. "Yeah." I get a nod.

"Don't worry Natsu. I'm sure it won't be as bad as your thinking." I take that as dismissal and head out. Almost sagging against the wall in relief. The assurance comforts me as a warm safety blanket, but I know it may slip away, so I don't hold onto it. Paranoia drives me to consider this may not end favorably. I may even lose those I consider family. Yet, I can not hold it, hold him, in the dark any longer, and so I must face whatever may come my way. No matter how negative.

The stairs almost trip me, but I make my way to the first floor without falling straight on my ass from pure unsteadiness. Many of those who had borne witness to my humiliating retreat yesterday plead me with gazes to join them at their table. Probably for an explanation. Though they don't try any other method.

"Natsuuuuuuu!" I look up just in time, as Happy swoops into my arms, clutching to me. Then again I shouldn't be shocked, I did leave him alone for at least three days of indulgence, and I probably shouldn't have. "I missed you!" He cries as he huddles closer to my chest. I am about to answer when someone lets out a loud whistle.

"Phew Natsu! You look half eaten!" Macau shouts out. The fucking hickeys, I had forgotten about. God, they must be all over me. Instead of shame, I feel pride in its place, a strange shift. And I find him with my eyes only, leaning leisurely on the bench sipping some form of drink, Wakaba by his side smoking. I smirk. Because for once I feel like I can.

"I guess I would. I got laid last night, and it got kinda out of control." Kind of? I snort at my own lie. It was not marginal at all, we went at it more then we have in a long time. Admittedly mostly due to my own enthusiasm.

Macau spits out his drink, not far off, Grey starts coughing loudly. Erza smacking his back violently in order to dispel his food from his throat. I don't completely understand why, I'm fairly certain both of them have had sex before, so why are they so shocked? I suppose it's none of my business. Happy, who is still clinging to me gets brought over to the now calmer Grey, wherein at the table sits Lucy, Elfman, along with with a darkened Erza, and scalded looking stripper. I sit down next to Erza, away from Lucy, and far from Grey so I don't punch him. Elfman sits beside me as well, gnawing on a leg of what I think to be a turkey. It funny, because he used to be a vegetarian. He did change a lot with Lisanna's death, as Mira did.

"Uh, you expect us to believe you got laid flamebrain? Who would do you?" The insults just fly out of his mouth, I don't expect he is even fully human at this point. I would punch him, but poor Happy is still clutching to me and I can't bear to realize him cruelly just for some sort of revenge. I don't usually fall to his game, but when I can't punch the guy its really my only option.

"Says the ugly ass stripper." He shoots up giving Erza cause to glare, but she's at peace right now eating her cake.

"What did you just call me?! Have you looked in the mirror?!"

"I have, and I saw a man with a dozen hickeys. Never seen any of your before!"

He looks ready to hurl a punch at me, cat or not. Which I won't let slide, you hurt Happy you deal with me, especially if he's already upset.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Grey stops mid-action and so do I, looks like Gramps had entered the hall without either of us noticing, now giving us a deadly glare, of which Erza's was born. Naturally, we sit down. "Now listen up all of you!" Everyone turns and the guild quiets, it's not often that he makes an announcement, usually to busy drinking.

"I have a serious announcement to make. I have decided to welcome a new member to Fairytail." Some uneven murmurs break out, and some persons grumble in disagreement while others hum in interest. "Now! I want it to be made perfectly clear he is to be treated with equal respect and kindness as all members of our family are. That being said; This man is joining us par the request of his boyfriend."

That causes everyone to steer. I look around as unassumingly as I can. Some faces I don't recognize well, scowling with full wrinkles on display. Macau and Wakaba I note are among that group. At least it is something I expected, those two are well known for their love of women, I doubted a while ago they could understand anything different. In reference to the younger generation; most just seem surprised though not quite at the point of judging just yet they seem to be waiting. However, Elfman is scowling as well, and that shocks me a little. Truthfully he is one of the kinder men I've met, especially in childhood, yet he seems so angry at the prospect that I tilt my head away, and in hidden intent focus on Gramps on top the bar. Suddenly I feel myself grip Happy tighter, he is also watching the other side of the room.

"You can't be serious old man! That's against the law!" Says a gruff grizzled voice from the table not far away.

"Yeah! And it's unmanly!" I feel my flinch rattle my body. I can beat him if I need to. I can.

"You will have to deal with it! Because and let me make myself drastically clear! One of our guild members is gay, you will accept this, and you will leave him alone. Anyone who doesn't will get a punishment." Gramps is sharp in tone, he's cautioning them, not threatening but on the verge.

"But-"

An echo sounds throughout the stone and shakes through all assembled. "BE SILENT." Wakaba sits down, thoroughly scalded.

Elfman looks ready to protest but remains silent. I lost three friends today. Its… unpleasant, but it brings a clarity to me at least. I know who I must stay away from. Gramps regains himself and smiles kindly at everyone. "That is all." He leaves once more, and all is silent. No one speaks and an ere fog of quiet descended across the entire hall. Slowly, very cautiously some tables begin to talk again, and some people go to find a job on the board as if nothing had happened. Others, however, remain in place, allowing the information to sink in.

"Man this sucks," Grey speaks first among the group. "I don't want to be around some homo." That stings a little, even if I and him don't get along very well, I've still always considered him part of my family. Yet, he harbors the same notion as so many common folks do. "What if it catches?" He laughs, and now, I really want to wipe that snark off his face, kick him back into the pit he crawled out of.

"No kidding… So unmanly." The male Strauss pouts, angry at the master's orders.

"It is of no concern of mine." Erza bluntly states, eating another bite, this time one of strawberry.

"But Erza… You know they say it can be… infectious…" Lucy adds though she seems more nervous about her statement than anything, as though both in doubt of the science and believing it at once. She bites her lip and shifts her posture. I thought she might understand.

I've had enough, and I stand. They look to me. Grey with a smirk on his lips ready to through another insult, Erza chewing questions me merely with her body language. Lucy looks ready to yell, and Elfman doesn't seem to care either way, too busy feeling slighted.

"Your all disgusting." I don't mean it. Doesn't matter though, everything hurts, there is an ache in my lungs and a burning sensation in my eyes. I suppose this is what rejection must feel like. I terror, a fear, a victory in apprehension, and a betrayal in sight. I no longer want them to know. Be aware of anything, their my friends, my family, and yet. My trust in their virtue shatters and the shards embed into my mind like needles of a doubt. Only Erza remains unchanged in my thoughts.

"Ah shut it pea brain. You probably don't even know what a homo is." I want to hit him. Happy shifts his weight.

"That sounds really mean Grey." He smiles, the little shit has the audasity to smile, like testing a child.

"Don't worry Happy. Homo's aren't people, you can be mean they won't feel a thing."

"Damn right," Elfman adds.

"Shut up."

"SHUT UP." Erza overpowers my volume. Now becoming invested and no longer calm to what she hears. "How dare you say something so disrespectful! Distancing another human being from their humanity just to suit your own personal ideals is disgraceful! You should be ashamed of yourselves!" I don't say anything. At least someone understands. Though the lump I feel doesn't melt, I walk away instead. I let Erza handle it, handle all of them. Happy puts his paw to my face, and I look at his confused face with all the joy I can muster.  
"Hey, Natsu?"

"Yeah, little buddy?" Its stupid, foolish, to believe he didn't hear all of that. I just hope it doesn't stick to him. Like vomit on a carpet. Because all it is; bile.

"You don't… believe that do you?" Good, I think. Good.

"No, of course not. Don't listen to them Happy. People are just… idiots sometimes okay?"

"Yeah. I don't want to be mean." I pet his head, even though he says he hates it. I wonder what Laxus is doing right now. Mira is helping appear more like a light wizard. I hope he doesn't change his style too much, I like it as it is. I sit at the bar, and put bread in the jar, and wonder what the hell I'm doing here.


	5. Chapter 5

I leave the guild early. I claim that I’m going to find something to eat because the kitchens aren’t working yet. To myself I acknowledge that I’m escaping to find refuge with Laxus and Mirajane. Not a cowards retreat, because I had no fear of my guildmates themselves, but a way for me to clear myself of spite. I don’t want to remain hateful to people I care about no matter how intolerant they may be of me. Even if I had been expelled from the guild in first confessing with Gramps I like to think I would try to remain as non-begrudging as I could. 

 

I’d probably just get angry though. I don’t like to consider that. 

 

It wasn’t as if I couldn’t understand it either. The more veteran members were brought up in a time where it was even more of a crime then now. They in turn ended up teaching their children that such acts were wrong and the cycle continues on for decades. Grey isn’t to shocking I suppose, he does have that type of natural disposition, although I wouldn’t have guessed he’d be that against it. Maybe it was an influence prejudice in his case. Elfman made no sense to me. Lisanna and Mira both, were and are extremely accepting persons, they don’t believe in hating someone without justification. So how had he become so blinded by community? Pride? Masculinity? That was possible… Maybe in knowing the persons as well as I do I can justify their views.

 

Lucy confuses me. She was born and raised in a family of stern values, high riches and a place in society not commonly stepped into. She would have been taught all of the most societal expected viewpoints of Homosexuality, likely being taught that it was infectious for the sake of the line. However, Lucy had run from that life, she was no longer wealthy, and she renounced her father and the upper class worldview in favour of earning and experiencing for herself. Surely her stubborn nature would have lead her to renounce their teachings. I had assumed she would have been the few persons I could count to be on my side. With her response though, I don’t know how I feel.  

 

“Oh dear, did it go badly Natsu?”  I couldn’t spot Mira immediately hidden in the shop as she is, though her nearly luminescent hair is bold in the adjacent window as she holds different styles of shirts up to Laxus, who I decide to be unentertained with his current situation. That is of course playing model for Mirajane as she comes up with a good style for him to naturally incline good will and disposition. The shop she is in is one of a more edgy appeal, not exactly what I had expected her to go for as to ascertain a positive vibe, but really, I would be really stupid to question her understanding of the nature of fashion.  

 

She grabs a plain black tank=top with large strappings from the shelf this time, holding it in front of her as staring at Laxus’s form. 

 

“Uh, Mira? Shouldn’t we try to make him look less like he just got out of a dark guild?”  It seems to me that her focus is more on keeping him appear less commutative. Its weird, in a word. 

 

“No, no, you’ll see Natsu, don’t worry about it.” I shrug, I know Mira, she’s almost ridiculously good with people, myself, less so. She nods to the black skin fit shirt and grabs a pair of camo pants with a leather belt, this time not bothering with approval, simply handed them to Laxus; he in due course of his attitude of shopping grumbled to himself as he made way into the dressing room. I do want to ask, it not as if I’m afraid of Mira after herself-resolution anyway, still I don’t. 

 

Laxus comes out of the room just as she shoots me a rather implicating wink. 

 

Now, I have never really considered myself easily persuaded or vulnerable to manipulation. However; the man who emerged from the changing room was one I could hardly recognize, and it stirs me to believe I would do anything he so asked for but a fraction of time. It is of course the man I love, present in his cocky eyes, and sharp face, the muscle beneath the shirt so suddenly clear to me, but the way the clothes act on him seems so different from his usual dress. 

 

My mouth opens to say something. It closes fast however, as my eyes catch on his pinched and reddened skin around his shoulder. Black ink marking around his bicep. “You got a tattoo?!” I want to say that it looks strange on him, maars his skin in a way I am almost uncomfortable with, my upbringing was of the belief that scars were natural but seeking to purposefully scar the skin was dishonorable. “What for?!” I’m close to yelling. 

 

Surprisingly he grows fluttered, it curves my anger slightly, Mira gently coughs into her fist. Cocky eyes before me turn scalding onto her. 

 

“It’s in the hieroglyphic native language of the aboriginal people of Fiore. I felt it only right, I’m half aboriginal after all.” That was not an impression I had gotten from him at all in the beginning. Although I do suppose it would be difficult according to Levi the aboriginal people were massacred in large numbers by the settlers from the neighboring land. The survivors went into hiding. Or changed their names for better protection. Mira makes a noise at the admission though, he turns to her shrugging.  “On my mother’s side. She taught me a little of our language and culture before she passed.”  

 

I trace what lines I can see, the rest hidden by his tight top. He hisses as my finger presses a little to hard. 

 

“What does it mean?”  Why is my anger always so quick to leave? His flustered expression has yet to dissipate, and I wonder at that. He mumbles, eyes to the left and far from me. I press my finger into the flared skin, he meets me once more. 

 

Still mumbling: “It means Ethereal Fire Dragon.” I’m a hot person: Yet nothing compares to the heat I feel everywhere at that admission, not all the nasty things he has whispered to my ears, not the time when he had arranged to go to a special beauty spot for my -rather made up- birthday. I did nothing to deserve him. Were we not in a public store, I would've kissed him, insuring that he saw stars. 

 

He smiles down at me, and I do very much want to slap him because he knows how that affects my face. He leans to my ear bending down so that I don’t get the opportunity. Whispering: “It also means: dinner tonight will lead to a night of fun.” 

 

I push him back. “You are such a fake! It does not!” He laughs, as I turn from his stupidity a snort escapes me, this; I ignore. I hear him laugh harder before his arm heavily descends over my shoulders. He is awfully comfortable here already as he kisses my cheek without any sort of caution. I could have stopped him easily, but that's often how he apologizes after he’s done something ridiculous. 

 

“You got so red.” 

 

“Shut up. Teach me a native dance and I might consider forgiving you.” 

 

“You want to learn a dance? Well, alright. I know a few. Can’t say how good I am though. It has been awhile.” 

 

“Really?! I mean.. Good, I’ll forgive you now.” 

 

“Okay tough guy.”

 

“Shut up.”  Bastard laughs again. 

The next morning is a large one in terms of implication, seriousness, and execution, not in that order. So I expected my waking to be sudden in attribute to my many stresses, next to Laxus while he snores like an animal, trapped in his grasp - I am very physically strong, more so then the average human, but that man has the biceps and muscle mass to back that up without much opposition.- Yet instead of jarring and abrupt it is a soothing return, there is a calm chanting in my head, and a distinct banging that is forming from outside. Seen as Laxus is not inside I can only presume that to be him, though I have never heard this from him. 

 

In peering outside I find him facing east banging a very old looking drum and what I had thought to be chanting in the house, I realize is singing, so very traditionally. I hadn’t imagined him capable of it. He seems entranced in the steady fast tempo of the drum and the fluctuating of his voice as he sings. I’ve known for awhile he is part native, but I have never heard him relish in his heritage until now.  His father’s influence no doubt. 

 

His voice stops, but he beats on the drum without pause. “Song of the Salamander: it only felt fitting.”  He strums on the edging of the leather a little with his fingers before he heeds, sighing so loudly I see his chest rise with effort from his back. “I visited the tribe once. I wish you had been there. They had great tales of the grand dragons of the land.” His attitude is solemn, and I can only think he is considering his mother. He rarely ever does, though it is not out of remorse for her passing, in fact it had been a much celebrated part of his life. That is not why he grows contemplative when considering her, although with something so sensitive, I think its best I don’t know. 

 

My understanding of parental bonds is shaky at best, and that’s only because I cannot be sure I had experienced it in true form. Laxus has hated his mother for several years, though he doesn’t attach himself to resentment of her as he did when he was younger as he so claimed, he more of just acknowledges that were she alive he would wish her dead. A disposition I don’t think I should be the one to question. 

 

The only thing he ever took of her to be of value was her enwrapping's in her heritage, he had always been proud of it. Odd, but I know him. 

 

I dread the guild for they do not understand the layers that form his complexity, and indeed I do not believe they will even look. In being a part of them, I have come to the troubled conclusion that my guild is quick to assumption and only swayed away if we believe there is no wrong doing. Bias in their morale that nothing is neutral that all must have a label of good or bad. To many there, if they are blinded by this strong principle they will be confused of me, and hateful of Laxus. I worry of that. 

 

Laxus can take insult, but not when it is directed to me, granted it is scarce that someone tries to insult a wizard, many citizens are simply too afraid to light guild or not. It is in this where we have frequent arguments, through many bouts of anger -admittedly- misdirected, I have learnt that his overprotective manner is really only because of his many attributed family problems. That is not to say they affected his psyche as so many claim they must have, no only in the way he treats those he considers important. 

 

There is a man whom Laxus has known for a very long time who spoke to me in detail of some issues Laxus has with relationships; At the time I hadn’t appreciated the effort, seen as this man was more aware of my boyfriend then I. -Envy; I have seen fit to largely displace in respect of their past, still that is to say, Laxus knows better then to keep me and him near each other often, jealousy is something I have a problem controlling apparently.- Onto the former dark wizard I have entangled myself with: 

 

His issues are deeply rooted how his parents guided his perception. It is not that he fears me as unable to take insult, in fact he knows better then most of my own friends as to my capabilities. No, he takes such injury and overprotective stance over my well being because he fears loss, to an extent to even my own situation cannot grasp the reaches of. I do not think even he can state it privately, how much the thought of another death scares him. He fears that someone will take me from him, be that romantically or fatally, the thought has brought him to over compensate his paranoia. Though there is nothing I can do to prevent it. No matter how much I attempt to placate him in my competent ability. In the light of Freed’s words, I have stopped trying, it is simply an aspect to which I have to accept with everything he is. 

 

Hense, long in my elaboration I do wonder how forgiving he will be towards me  and comrades as I come forth to my guild as a gay man, as a man in a relationship. Perhaps that was Mira’s intent in her choice of clothing, a feeling of control, as it differs only slightly from what he would normally wear. 

 

That, I can only assume is a question I will never have the true answer to. 

 

“C’mon then pinkie.” He wraps his arm over my shoulders, his coat creating a pleasant atmosphere of warmth just for us around me. Though my nerves are flaring so much, I just keep going over what the others had said yesterday, and I cannot help but consider that they may end up not liking me anymore. I don’t want to think they would do that, not after such a long and mutual history. I don’t dare voice it to Laxus, he is already on edge due to his own transfer here, I will not put him through to being concerned over my own stupid wonderings. 

 

Still, here underneath his coat with an arm in imitation of his stupidly strong sleeping habits I feel almost confident. I think that is only because of his presence that it resonates within me as a type of familiarity. I know the guild well enough, the people there, still in presenting this new aspect of my life, one that I myself think of as a good thing, I worry that the commonality of someplace I have always felt comfortable will be lost.. 

 

To gaze at him now, I only find him glancing about him, so curious about Magnolia, though this is a part where we have been in frequent, it is such a different area then that which he is used to I suppose I can’t blame him. In my thoughts though I am selfish, I just want his focus on me, as if I am far removed from anything else. A notion that makes no sense in rational, but I have never really considered myself a logical person, I’ll leave that to Lucy, or indeed anyone else. 

 

When the guildhall looms before us my elbow jams into his ribs, gaining his focus and attention. I think from his glare he resents the action. I snort at him, he responds in kind. “Go in first, Gramps is expecting you.” I feel foolish in saying it. 

 

“Nervous?” I push him to the door, not that it does much, he stands his ground with the stupid height and weight he has on me, yet he usually doesn’t say anything more as he normally would have. He does loudly sigh before entering, his coat sweeping behind him as it does, blocking the entrance with his large figure, Were this any other situation I would be grappling with my own desire, as it stands I am simply too preoccupied with squeezing past and judging my family’s reception to him. 

 

We split near at the same time, I, to my normal table, lacking Elfman this time, though Grey remains. Grey I can deal with, no qualms necessary, out of everyone here I am the most accustomed to Grey’s brand of shitheadedness. 

 

Everyone from what I can see is raising questioning glances in my boyfriend’s direction, whispering to themselves. 

 

I have to wonder at that, its not as if they hadn’t been informed that we’d be getting a new member. 

 

I sit next to Erza: whom is observing with her natural tactical viewpoint, measuring him up. Laxus is speaking with the old man, both of them occasionally nodding. 

 

Something is said which causes Laxus to blush slightly, I want to know what very badly what that is. 

 

“Master?” Lucy questions first, her attention curious as opposed to the rest who hold a more offensive stance. The two part from their conversation, Gramps with a sigh on his breath and a tilt of his sud filled mug. Laxus meanwhile stands in a purposely intimidating stance, head raised with a pointed stare to all who dared look him in the eye, his resting expression that of dissatisfaction, a scowl without a need for effort. 

 

“Ah yes, everyone, this is Lux-” Seriously? “He will be joining us from now on as I mentioned yesterday.” Grey sputters beside me, and all I can think in response is  _ ‘and so it begins.’  _

 

I wish now, in a weakened thought: that I may be free from the bonds of family, instead with Igneel once more, he would care not who I sought to frolicate with. A dragon does as he -or she- pleases after all, answering to no one. -That is of course it is your dragon father.- I do not want to face the consternation so present here., yet this is the path I have chosen so must I follow it. 

 

“No way!” Surprisingly Fullbuster doesn’t shout, maybe he is affected by Laxus show of domination without virbal need. “He can’t be homo can he? Seriously? He looks like-” 

 

“Yeah, aren’t they supposed to be more… girly?” Lucy responds, and I have the unexplainable -understandable- urge to bang my head against the table so that I may injure myself enough as to not face this complete moronic reasoning. 

 

“Have neither of you ever met an openly gay individual?” Before I can do so Erza speaks, something I do not recognize hiding behind her tone. Lucy finally turns around blushing a little. Grey scoffs. 

 

“Well no, but my father always told me... “ She admits, at least it is somewhat gratifying that Lucy does not seem as prejudice as Grey or Elfman, more confused of how such relationships work. Which is something I can more readily accept. Erza herself seems unfazed by the notion, and I take that to be comfort. In fact she sighs so loudly I do believe half the guild is subjected to the sound of her disappointment. 

 

This is where I decide to prove them wrong

 

.”Lux!” I call him over, to Grey’s disbelief, Lucy’s fear, and Erza’s raised eyebrow. Being who he is, and his -probably- unintentional subservience to anything I ask for, Laxus comes. Lucy at the very least tries to smile politely, Grey looks away severely displeased but not spouting insult. Erza stands with a kind relaxed posture as she holds her hand out for a respectful handshake. 

 

“Lux, I am Erza Scarlet, pleasure to meet you.” Following the unsaid leader of our team Lucy too stands up, albeit a bit more hastily, she doesn’t hold out her hand, and stands instead at a large distance. 

 

I almost think that being how he is with his hands Laxus will decline the warrior, but he doesn’t, granting her hand a quick grip before withdrawing.

 

“Likewise.” He’s on edge so I’m slightly shocked he doesn’t become more forceful. The resident red-head doesn’t seem to mind. 

 

“My deepest apologies for my teammate’s attitudes.” She pointedly glances at Grey who is occupied with sulking. “The blonde women beside you is Lucy Heartfilia. The one sulking is Grey Fullbuster. And of course the one staring at you with stars in his eyes is Natsu, but you already knew that.” Not one to be smug about anything in her regular conduct, this is an exemption; tilted with a incline in pure unobstructed symbolism, were she anyone else I would have been surprised she figured it out, but its Erza so no, I’m just not, more bashful at the fact that I was staring at him with starry-eyed vision. In a mild response Laxus snorts, small, but powerful smirk in place. 

 

“Yeah, I kinda figured, Natsu told me all about you guys, couldn’t get him to shut up half the time.” I roll my eyes, ‘ _ like you even tried’  _ if I’m bugging him as he so claims, he really only ignores whatever I’m talking about, he doesn’t  _ do  _ shit to stop me. 

 

I almost get tricked into security. 

 

“What a second! You actually know this guy?!” Again the iceman shouts though this time he seems more then a little angered, seething at the teeth. I stand to about to give him a damn piece of my mind, when I realize I am not angry right now, just upset at him. So instead of yelling as I normally do, my voice comes forward in a monotone disposition almost in the same manner as Igneel used to do when trying to decipher just what it was I had done. 

 

“Duh, come on stripper even you aren’t this stupid. Use your non-existing brain for a second.” Once more in few days he looks ready to throw a punch, I don’t care what he does at this point. 

 

However, before he can Lucy stutters in with a whole lot of moisture on her brow. “W-w-wait a second… Natsu- your not saying that your…” 

 

“You look afraid blondie.” Laxus mentioned, not hesitating in showing one of his less amused faces toward her, one that I recognize to be mocking, jeering in dislike. I don’t know why, maybe because of her obvious uncertainty regarding homosexual peoples. I have never pretended to fully understand why my boyfriend acts all the ways he does. We have not been together long enough for me to know his nuances to a point where I can judge his disposition instantly Knowing him as I do, limited in varent I can see the signs for when I may have to stop him from being… well a jerk quite frankly. Laxus has a problem realizing when he has crossed an invisible boundary into unkind behaviour. I know I am not one who can really consider this a fault, I am not much different, though are problems aren’t the same. 

 

Where Laxus will amuse himself through teasing, occasionally that will turn into something less fun natured to those who are on the receiving end, and he doesn’t know when to stop or even when he’s doing it. Mine on the other hand is simple situational obliviousness, usually it won’t be a case of upsetting the other person unless they are particularly sensitive, however I can make them angry without realizing my own provocation. .

 

Odd, however, that Laxus has never upset me, or caused me distress even with this tendency. 

 

Lucy steps backwards even further. Her arms now held protectively over her torso in a type of prayer position. 

 

“Of course she scared!” Elfman yells, disturbing my inner peace -or seeking of it given the circumstances- his face one of rage and trepidation.  _ ‘You damn homo….”  _ Even whispered it echos in the stunned still guildhall. 

 

“Elfman Strauss!” That is when Mirajane appears, hands on hips, her voice pitched down an octave, and a horrible glare in her eye, matching her brother’s bulking stature with pure resolution, even far away I can feel a strong magical surge, the first one I have felt in years from her. Although it isn’t the appearance of her magic, not really, but she is intentionally scaring her brother into a moment of apprehension in discontent. Considering her past Mira always appears the part of younger child, in fact both her siblings were younger, now however, she holds the stance of a scolding mother. Not amused by her kin’s words in the slightest. 

 

“M-m-m-m,” the man can barely make the rest of her name out, holding his hands in surrender and the woman in question grabs him by his ear with a tight held grip. “You will be nice, none of this bigoted behaviour! Poor Natsu’s got enough on his plate without you being a complete- tart to his boyfriend! Be nice or I will make you!” Her voice isn’t particularly strong, but it doesn’t need to be, she has always had a powerful and persuasive form of intimidation, Elfman shuts up quickly. But I catch his horrified eye, he hadn’t figured out what Lucy had meant, now that he does, I wonder if this will make him think of me as a disease too.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Okay.... So... There's some rather explicit stuff in this chap. Like kinda kinky stuff. I don't describe much of the activity. But beware. Anyone below 16yrs, don't tarnish your minds.

I don’t see the punch to the face coming. Though I make sure to respond. Hitting the arrogant Ice-mage in the chest without issue. He gasps but does little else as he shoves his palm into my chin, and I grapple at his hair, trying to pull at it harder then I normally would have.

“That’s enough!” Erza interrupts prying my hand and pushing Grey away from my space.

“You bastard! You tricked us! All of us!” There it comes. He’s more angry then I have seen him in a very, very, long time. The moment Erza rests her stance, thinking this will become a simple verbal match is when he punches me again this time under the jaw. The pain in my bone is throbbing and a warm blood fills my mouth.

“Natsu!” Happy lands on my head, and his warm body is strangely comforting to my aching jaw, easing the pain slightly as Erza rounds on her fellow teammate with a blurring movement of rage. Beside, and above me, Laxus makes a strange breathy sound of irritation, but he isn’t annoyed at me, his eyes are glued to Erza’s fire hair as she faces Grey. “Why did you do that Grey? He’s bleeding.” Ever innocent Happy asks, I don’t want that guy answering him.

“Don’t worry about it Happy, Grey is just a stupid person.” What else is there to say, I could be vindictive and tell him to avoid the ice-make wizard, I could be snide and speak of all his faults. There's not point in that, obviously it will just continue as an unending cycle of insulting and fighting; to which I have no interest in. Even still, I don’t know exactly how to respond now. I’m outed, of that I have no doubt, my guild is aware, and will continue to be aware no matter how I decide to move forward. So I can be plain and prideful, regain myself as a man of pride and ignore their jibes with the disposition of a man in denial. Or I can simply let be what is to be, as fate wills itself forward on a smooth river course.

Painful as it is, those who truly see me as one of their own will not exclude me entirely. Acceptance forthcoming or not, those who hope to keep a friendship with me will try even if they are uncomfortable. Anyone else? I will just have to pretend they don’t exist. That’s my stance, and there it will remain.

Hiding therefore is nothing but a child’s whimsy. I have nothing left to pretend for. I glance to Laxus, waiting patient beside me, for my next move, what I want. I tilt my head to him, and motion that he can come closer if he likes. I know he is hesitant only for my sake, and while I appreciate the gesture, what I really need now is a strong sensation that what I am doing now is right. Regardless of situation, he is very good at giving me the calmness of justification with mere proximity. He knows me well enough to understand.

* * *

 

I knew it would be a somewhat violent confrontation. Some sort of fighting would be involved from one end to another, anger unjustified marking in blackness, the zeal of righteousness. Besides that I know Natsu, his anger is easily justified by himself and he has no reservations in punching anyone who he deems fit to beat up. He had spoken in frequent of Grey Fullbuster in particular. So I had of course had expected something extreme. That isn’t the case, instead he seems hesitant. I find it a little odd that someone who has never been shy from telling the other man just what he thinks should require me there.

I move close, not knowing what his play is; I didn’t expect the arm around my waist or the head burning in heat on my chest. Still I am not surprised Natsu has always sought contact, some form of affection, usually wordless. It had taken me a very long time to understand that most of the time it wasn’t a freedom of isolation. No, his attachment to affection is actually a drawing of strength. Not in the way of physicality, it is in truth a way from him to feel strong in emotion something that he has never felt comfortable with.

Its near impossible to explain, but I knew for certain he finds comfort in my physical and emotional control and he draws on that to give him guidance in feeling, because he’s so very bad at doing it on his own. In its own way, its actually quite brilliant.

His fingers press into my sides harshly, and I note the manner in which he is staring intently, not breaking contact from the rich princess and the stripper. Ah, so that’s his ploy, he doesn’t normally rely on me in such a way, but considering he knows these people very well, they aren’t going to be intimidated by his words, action, or glare. So that leaves me to pick up the pieces.

Strangely, I have no issue with that. I drape my arm around Natsu, taking a moment to feel his muscle underneath my fingertips. In order to get a full response I bend over -I can’t bend fully he’s to damn small- and I kiss his strawberry hair, even if this is a play of power, I will take every opportunity to be near him, and he knows it. In looking over at the two targets of my boyfriend’s rage I see the man scowling and the pretty little blonde appearing green around the edges. Its disgusting. I pull Natsu closer, honestly I don’t want him to have to face such ugly expressions on those he considers family. I come close to following the impulse of shielding him with my coat, but I know he wouldn’t appreciate it.

“You got a problem pipsqueak?” I feel a snort across my chest. Hes broken eye contact and instead is now cuddling in broad daylight into my abdomen, which is so unlike him I would be concerned if the situation wasn’t so explainable. I’ve never known him to hide. Ever. He is hugging the small blue cat to his chest protectively, I can only assume he’s frightened this guy will do something to the feline. I raise myself once more to my full height. I don’t like the sensation that fills me when I think of Natsu being frightened; even if its over his cat.

I won’t stand for it.

“What did you do to Natsu freak?” The chant I tell myself on repeat, not to let loose, not to punch this guy least I break his jaw. On impulse my eyes narrow down at this little shit, cocky and arrogant, not to different from myself, without the power to back it up. The pressure and warmth of the body attached to mine leaves suddenly, and I find myself very abruptly holding onto a shocked, blue cat. As my boyfriend now on a warpath punches to other man in the face so hard he crashes into the table behind him with a satisfying splintering of wood.

Natsu standing in a rested position from where he had uppercut the cocky little shit. Not far away from his raised fist is the little blonde who is slowly backing away from the very angry pinket.

“Don’t call him that.” I feel a softness on my face as I stare at the magnificent sight of my boyfriend in anger, I don’t want to look away but I do, to the cat in my arms. He has a gentle, curious expression, and very wide eyes almost meant for the purpose of getting sympathy attention. Yet, he is rather cute, normally I wouldn’t say that about something touching my face without permission.

He looks determinedly at me, almost a glare, but I honestly don’t think the poor thing can actually pull one off. Nevertheless he does look rather serious because of it.

“Lux, do you love Natsu? And I mean really love him?” Happy -as I remember,- asks me in such a way that I can only believe that he is more then aware people can use others especially such strong feelings to manipulate people. Or that Natsu has had experience in such things. Perhaps he can tell that I don’t easily express my feelings verbally, and he wants me to be completely honest about it. Normally having been asked such a question would anger me, but I know Natsu loves this cat, so I think honest has to be the only policy regardless of embarrassment.

Matching his tone of seriousness I look him in the eye as an equal. “Yes, I do. More then my magic.” I see the subject of conversation look at me from the corner of my vision and I meet his eye. He looks almost surprised, so very wrongly shocked at the truth. This, I think we should address privately, so I raise my brow, and smirk at him. “Kick his ass babe.”

“Ha! Just you watch me!” Then he jumps over the down man like it’s nothing a raging fist of fire spreading over his hand. As Fullbuster moves away just in time to avoid the rather detrimental impact that follows. Erza comes towards me, her eyes focused on the ensuing battle, arms crossed, over her armoured chest.

“I’m glad Natsu found someone.” She sounds genuinely pleased, a smile of relief on her face, as if she hadn’t expected it. Though I had heard that she had believed in the rumour of Natsu with that Lola girl, so that's a bit of an odd statement. Speaking of, that girl, shrieking as she tries to get away from the ongoing battle not far from her, turning on Erza with terrified fingers and loud voice of anger.

“Aren’t you going to stop them?!” Her voice pitches, and I’m near laughing at her panicked state. Erza seems to find it less amusing then I, as her face turns into that of an almost threatening seriousness.

“Not this time Lucy, Grey was out of line, Natsu was well within his rights to fight him.”

“Seriously?!” Now she is shouting, taking cover with her arms as a pile of stone shoots skywards.

“Sorry blondie, it was either Natsu or me. Honestly, you should be glad it’s the former.” Brown eyes rest on me in reproach, blameful and unyielding, her entire body language tells me she wants to fight. Yet, I am far away from the place where harming an innocent individual is acceptable, and I intend to fully revel in this new form of order I am so unaccustomed too. In fact, rather then engage myself in a battle better suited for Natsu then me, I think I will indulge in not having so many responsibilities. A rare thing in a guild where my father is involved. I can only imagine the amount of rage he will feel once he’s realized I’ve betrayed him. The thought brings a simplistic thrill running through me.

The fight ahead, I can’t help but notice that Natsu is holding himself back. Loyalty I suppose, although he is completely within his rights to give that little boy a thrashing he doesn’t. Certainly, I would not hold back in teaching him a lesson or two. Probably a good thing I don’t however, considering I need to make a good impression as under the laws of the Magic Council I’m a criminal in more then one way. Funny how the two crimes have no semblance of equality in their nature.

There were things however, that Ivan had taught me that I believe to be important even now. Vigilance, being the main takeaway presently. There are many members within the guildhall looking on me with contempt, older and younger alike. Not knowing these people I consider it amusing, especially considering my experience with those who are…. Unsavoury. Some of them are gazing at Natsu I have to note, that is hardly acceptable.

* * *

 

**Hargeon is safe from any influence my father holds. His sway over most council controlled areas is negligible at best, here however there is a freedom of knowing even spies do not cross. Dark wizards are not friends of Hargeon. From what I understand there are no extra guards or security, only a rather pitiful guild and cheap booze, there's no reason from people of my affiliation not to like it. However, there is a certain lack of entertainment here. Sure the odd job request will come out and there will be the estranged dark wizard scrounging cash but for the most part its quiet.**

**Perfect for a secret rondevu with ones equally secret boyfriend**

**Normally we head for smaller locations, in the darker areas for maxism hush effect. However this time I had actually been close to Hargeon and so had Natsu, so it was the ideal opportunity to meet considering the circumstances.**

**Its a strange little place with friendly people, and surprisingly good food. Lots of loud conversation and from what I can tell rather liberal views. That is one thing that makes sense, Hargeon had been the site of a rather rare, rather large, peoples revolt. Against Zentopia no less. A public outcry that had begun after the citizens began to question the authority of the head church in the region. The question had turned into bitterness and in turn a separation of the religion from the town. In fact, it was a type of opposite area where an almost dark viewpoint had become the norm, and religious practises were frowned upon.**

**Actually because of how friendly the people were, it was a whole lot nicer in comparison to where I had grown up. I had even glimpsed a couple of young women flirting with each other at one of the cafe’s. Like I said, an odd type of liberal.**

**Natsu noticed it too, because as soon as we met up he had grabbed my hand in his, and has yet to let go. Normally I wouldn’t really allow it, however, this once it doesn’t feel like an enemy is going to jump out from around a corner and try to kill me, so I let my hand hold his how it wants.. Exuberant as ever I find myself wondering my eyes to each direction he points to in excitement, half of the time not seeing nor understanding what he is talking about.**

**But he looks back at me sometimes with a shining smile and eyes like the midnight sky,. That makes everything worth it.**

**So many people flood by us, laughing and telling stories, and Natsu jumps before me in happiness.**

**“Everyone is so fun here! I bet they know how to party!”**

**“Have you ever been to a party?”**

**“Hey my guild gets pretty wild!” Hardly the same thing, and I think he knows it, but he just kind of beams at me instead of retorting. Very unlike him, but even as I go to ask his smile drops into a found one and his eyes rest on our hands. Mine seeming so large over his even though he has the tighter grip. The moment doesn’t last long because just a second later he’s sprung into action and dragging me along down the road at his usual completely unnecessary pace. Its a wonder I dont just stop him with a sudden halt and have him sprawled on his ass..**

**We end up outside of a kind of fancy looking dress shop, and it peaks my curiosity in a large way. Because I have no idea what we are doing here, and if he makes me shop in this area I won’t be eating for a week. He breaks from my hand and with fluttering motioning tells me to stay where I am because he has a surprise for me.**

**He doesn’t give me a chance to speak before zipping into the store like a devil is riding on his heels. The snort I give out is involuntary. And as I cross my arms in waiting I catch a glimpse of something odd. It is only instinct that keeps me from turning completely, years of rigorous training. A man stands not far off at the very right of my vision, standing clamly without any sort of warning sign. Only that I can smell him, most of the time I can’t smell anything. Dragon slayer lacrima isn’t all that powerful. But my brain knew the moment he was caught in my vision that he was the strange musked scent I had been picking up. I had thought it was just perfume originally.**

**It sets my nerves flaring, knowing I can smell someone is new, it is never occurred before now. So why is it? There's something off about it too, thats not his natural scent, its too strong. Way to strong. Anger surges forth from my abdomen with such a sudden fire that I almost keel over. My brain ignites.**

**‘Lust, they lust, lust, lust, lust.’ There pounds away comprehension in my head, connections subconsciously made by pure primal understanding. His eyes are focused on the door behind me as I hear it click open. The banging footsteps unmistakeable to my ears. I don’t let myself turn around, because I see his stare so perversely focused and the thought of baring my teeth suddenly sounds acceptable.**

**“So what do you think!?” I hear him say, but I don’t turn to look, the man stands so poised staring at my boyfriend as if given permission. “LAXUS! YOU AREN’T LOOKING!” That wakes my mind rather fastly. I’d rather not have him exasperated at me. So I do look this time.**

**In his hands, held high -awkwardly due to his height- is a finely made large, leather and fur coat. I blink.**

**Theres no fucking way.**

**“Natsu, did you buy this?” He almost alights with pride.**

**“Sure did! I’ve been saving up! I know its like two weeks late as our six month was ages ago but I couldn’t really-” Sometimes, rarely, he rambles when he’s nervous. Its actually adorable. I take it from his hands, but he keeps going, and I can only assume he has been worried about gifting it me for awhile now. For no good reason.**

**“Its awesome babe, really. But now I’ll have to pay you back. Any…. ideas as to how?” He goes into thinking mode, eyes down, mouth pursed completely confused, I take the chance to step a little closer, further into his space. I get the stares staring into my sight as my arms goes around his waist. Pulling him just that little bit closer, my arm drops lower, and a rose blooms across his face as he mutely shakes his head. I pull him upward using my right arm under his ass, and he clings to me at the sudden lift. Nails digging into my shoulder and chest. Now I can get at his neck easily.**

**“L-Laxus! So-somebody will- will-” A delightful moan escapes him. I’m sure he resents the fact that he is so very turned on by any form of biting. “You utter…. Asshole.” The insult is lost as a whine carries it. I kiss along his jaw and a low growl springs forth but it isn’t in anger.**

**“What do you say babe, want me to make you scream tonight?” His nails dig in further to the point where they are painful, and I think almost drawing blood, he squirms in my grip now aroused I can feel it on my abs easily, the protest is gone from him now.**

**“I say, you’d better.” Then in an almost wicked twist of his lips he turns his mouth to my ear and whispers in the most quiet of ways something we have mutually agreed he would never say in public: “Stud.” If I was a lesser man, by even one percent I would have just said ‘who cares’ and took him there on the ground for hundreds of people to see, right next to a fancy store. Because fuck does he know how to get me riled. Its a word I’ve heard so many times from so many people, but when he says it. No matter the occasion his voice goes wispy, airy, suggestive; seductive. My dick jumps every single time.**

**I teleport us out with a lightning weave, not supposed to be used with two people really, drains my magic power way to fast, but I my brain is the last thing I’m thinking with at the moment.**

**Natsu jumps off me, as (in)graceful as you please, still a cocky shit. We undress fastly, I do end up ripping his vest off, a fact which he doesn’t seem to care about. And when we are naked? He pushes me onto the bed, an action I don’t protest. One of his legs is already on the mattress when he looks to the ground and perks his eyebrows up suggestively. I groan, no idea what he could possibly be delaying for. That is until he slings the newly brought leather and fur coat onto his slight but muscled shoulders, and damn if the sight isn’t erotic. Muscle, but small, dwarfed by a coat three times his size and climbing on top of me as if he was a wild animal. He holds himself above me on all fours coat draping over us. I want to flip him over, but I know he has a plan that in all likely cases I’ll enjoy so I wait. He laughs breathily as he drops ontop of me, one strong thigh resting on my cock in mock pressure. The rest of him a solid weight, muscles flexing lewdly ontop of me. His head is on my chest, and he’s gazing at me with his chin on his folded hands, an indulgent smile that only appears when feeling particularly sexy resting on his lips.**

**He scoffs a little, as if not amused, but his eyes say otherwise, and he rests both of his hands flat down on my chest, flicking absently at a nipple -and I try real hard not to make a sound at that, he knows, his grin quirks a little- his eyes draw down as if hes thinking about something, but I know for certain he’s already made up his mind. “I suppose, it is a special day. I’ll treat you. Just for tonight…” He slides a little, thigh barely moving, but just enough to stimulate and the feel of his body grinding on mine is difficult to deal with. His face hovers above mine, just centimeters away. I can feel his warm breath on my lips as he talks. “You can use me however you like.”**

**A hot-bloodied man like myself, cannot ignore such a statement. He always becomes like a man possessed during sex, like a different man all together, sensual and sexy, confident and soft in ways that he almost never is outside of the bedroom, and it drives me up the wall with lust.**

**“Anyway I like?” Thats a large boon, and even he knows it. He knows some of the kinky fantasies I have hidden in the depths of my mind. So I want him to fully understand what he’s allowing. He nods resolutely. Thats all I need, I grip his small hips -so fucking small compared to my own- and switch positions on the bed, he wiggles underneath me for a moment. Looking up with starry eyes. “Oh baby, Imma make you regret that decision.” I pet at his face a little, because how could I deserve this, he fucking suckles my thumb. Coyly looking up at me, pretending that he is an innocent virgin. He pops my thumb out with one of the most lewd noises I have ever heard him make.**

**“Call me baby again as I suck you off.” Holy fucking shit. He has never been this filthy. But God if it isn’t a turn on.**

**“Hm, tempting, but I control the show today.” He fucking pouts. Pouts! Like I had denied him chocolate! -never, ever, ever deny him chocolate.- So hard to resist. “Why should I?” I ask instead, because I am not yielding to him now. His eyes almost sparkle.**

**“Please Laxus? I’ll wear that leopard print lingerie you were eyeing in Barnifee if you let me, so please?” That had been one hell of an outfit, and with the way his thighs contort and his abdomen is so small and muscled it would look so good on him… Thats a deal I cannot forgo.**

**“Better get down there before I change my mind.”**

* * *

 

**First thought upon waking up, my dick is sore. Like holy crap sore. Second: I seriously need to call Natsu ‘baby’ more. He just got more and more into it the more I called him that. A simple ‘babe’ doesn’t have nearly this strong an effect on him. I suppose we both have public banned nicknames now.**

**His arms are calm pressed to my chest, and he is not far behind them, snuggled into the warmth. Though with the sheet above me it is almost to hot in here. I have no want to disturb him however, so I instead hold him a little tighter, he makes a breathy little noise in response. Even when fast asleep. Things got real extreme last night, I’m glad he’s resting even if that means I don’t have his attention on me.**

**It still shocks me to think he can be so downright kinky and perverted. Its not like we’ve never had sex before, so I thought I’d seen him all, but no, not even close. Its a pleasant surprise and I love it.**

**It occurs to me suddenly:**

**I don’t really give a crap whoever thinks they can scare me with their homophobic shit, I’ll shut it down before they get the chance. Because to be completely honest, the only thing I really give a damn about in this stupid ass world of ours is the man sleeping nigh ontop of me. Everyone else can go screw themselves for all I care.**

**I choose not to think about the growl that slips out of me at the direction of my thoughts.**

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any and all native words are not real Indigenous words or gestures. 
> 
> I myself am of Native Canadian decent, but I know little of my heritage because its only by a quarter, and I never met my Biological grandparents or aunt. So if this offends people of similar decent, know it is not in any way meant to be offensive, and is simply meant for the plot of the story.

 

* * *

Trouble deicides to find me, a rare occurrence these days due to reputation. Two older men one with an extreme hairstyle the other with a considerable purple stubble. Naturally, I know they aren't coming forward to make friends. I watch them approach apprehensive of the fact I could simply turn on my earphones and not deal with whatever shit they're going to petal my way. Not far off Natsu is in a wrestle with Grey, so far with the losing position.

"You ain't a woman are ya?" The one smoking asks, I glare him down, so that's how this is gonna go huh? "Yeah, figured as much."

"How old are you anyway? Older Natsu in anycase." Obvious in their implication they don't seem to want to hesitate. Which is fine, there are certain manners that I can adapt to deal with on the fly, this just so happens to be one of them.

"None of your business." That ticks a nerve, both seemingly grinding their teeth, but they do seem to have some brain in their heads because they don't start throwing punches, smarter then a lot of people I have met.

"You're in our guild now buddy, dating a kid we've known almost all his life, you really want to have that attitude?" Though not directly stated I know that they hate my very being because of it, even if they are using my dating Natsu as leverage against me to get my cooperation. There is a heavy handed look to both of them, they know not to be direct in their rejection of my way of life but they are being covert about it. I raise from my spot at the bar, its almost pleasing to see a trace of sweat on their brows as I tower over them.

"Look, I came here for one reason only, and it certainly wasn't to make friends with a bunch of fairies." My father speaks in my head thoughts of poison. I never expected to say and mean them, even if it was accidental. Stupid old man was more of a pain in the ass then I originally thought. They seem to be of the same opinion, as their expressions mare into something angry and implicating.

"You wanna fight buddy?'" Truthfully there is a steering in my gut, a will, I recognize the want, rarely ever so present in my mind. However I hold myself back, and instead shoo them off in the only way I know how, focusing my attention on something else. Getting a cold one sounds like a good idea at the moment, not to mention a distraction from the surmounting feelings this place is plaguing upon me. Before I can order from Mira; who is granting me an understanding look, while also managing to fleetingly glare at the two behind me in a look of well placed scorn, when another voice crooks out from not far away.

Makarov. My father whispers harsly in my head again. My grandfather, I have to correct, their is nothing to imply the man was all that Ivan said, in fact he seems to be almost the complete opposition to that. Not that I am going to be trustful of the man quickly, he did kick my father out from the guild for what I understand to be non-existing reasons. That being said it would be unjust of me to be discourteous to the man after he welcomed me into his guild simply because Natsu vouched for me. I owe it to him, and myself to be a little less on guard for once, even if instinct screams at me.

"Lux." He says in way of greeting holding up his beer as he takes a long drink, then rests his eyes on me in a serious manner. Its difficult not to compare him to Ivan, extremely, as he has the same eyes as my father, however, his hold something a little different a weight that I don't think I can understand. "I accepted your entrance to the guild because Natsu vouched for you. However there are some things we do need to discuss." He sighs loudly, he had been putting it off apparently. Yet, he shifts a beer by his side to a placing just parallel to the stool on his right. "Drink with me, let's talk, you are legal aren't you?" He laughs in a little chuckle only a man of age can do. I sit, gripping the rim of the bottle. Its not difficult to look at him seen as he is sitting on the counter. But I am wary of his topic of conversation, so I choose not to meet his eyes.

"Actually I do need to know your age, hope you don't mind, but there are some things that I just can't leave off your file." I suppose it would make sense to keep files of each member, even my father does so, No idea how these ones are categorized, probably vastly different from what I am accustomed too.

"Twenty-three." I take a swing from the bottle in front of me, a good brand surprisingly. He scoffs.

"How the hell did you meet someone like Natsu?" I think it wasn't an actual question. Still the whole thing was rather funny for someone not having been there.

"I accidentally asked him out after seeing him take down a man three times his size in the bar." This time a loud uproar of laughter follows. Clearly, both of us are thinking the same thing, it was simply such a Natsu thing to do. Seduce someone unintentionally just by fighting. Despite the good mood projected, our conversation is a serious one and the laughter dissipates, but not uncomfortably. He looks me dead in the eye, a raised eyebrow mychivious in nature.

Whispering: "I would be more careful if I were you, Natsu may not have noticed it, but your pocket is pretty obvious to anyone who looks closely." M heart sticks in my throat for a moment, clasping my hand down rather harshly on my thigh digging the object into my skin painfully. The new pants are less showful then my normal leather ones so I can take comfort in that, I hadn't realized I had been so careless with where I had put it.

Still flaming with the understanding that he had figured me out so quickly I only manage to grumble, almost incoherently: "Thanks..." He winks at me like an old buddy would, and its actually slightly comforting to be on the receiving end of some well meant teasing. "Not like it matters though. Not according to the law here." Its a difficult admission, mostly because the only reason why I have been holding off was because I didn't know how to make it more then a sham.

"I know some people." He shrugs, "Legality aside, its mostly up to you." He leaves it at that before becoming cautious, straying his eyes away from me for a moment. Clearly there's a sensitive topic on his mind. "Did Natsu inform you about Dragonslayers?" Finally he stares at me serious as can be, though there was a lot to unpack in that question, I feel I know what he's talking about with just the flush to his cheeks.

"The whole business of their being two types, yeah, we're careful." I normally wouldn't disclose that much, but I know for certain this was guild business to the man, additionally he is also seen as a father figure to Natsu, I couldn't very well ignore his questioning without being disrespectful. However that is all we leave it that, both taking a swing of our drinks. Mutually uncomfortable.

* * *

Grey is a little shit.

I say that as someone who has known him for many long years of struggling with dealing in his stoicism and general need to pride. His pride is vaster then mine and Laxus's together, I swear that to be sure. When he was younger it all made perfect sense to me. He had lost Ur, his master, and someone he considered almost parentally, as children both of us had experienced this. He was embittered by her death, shaped by it in a way I could not understand and was harsh and brash because of it. Lashing out in egotism and pride in her teachings, he would never consider learning other types of magic in pure respect for her.

However, now as we continue to age mutually, he hasn't lost that same gross egotism, the need to be a good student in order to appease a ghost of a woman long since past. The anger he harbours for the one that caused her death -a demon, who also destroyed his family and town turned from a ripe apple into one of blackness rotten on the inside and wasteful. Yet, he still wanted to eat at it instead of letting it drop to the soil. He simply cannot let go. On a level I understand, I am not one to give up, but this is different then the situation I have with my father. I respect him for it, but I also despair for him, because he has allowed himself to be contorted by his continued anger. A thing I had previously done myself, now I can see just how painful that type of duration is.

So as I fight him, I cannot stop my mind from thinking that maybe if he learned to let go he would feel less weak. For thats what drives him so profoundly, its the reason is so strong, that feeling of weakness in the face of anything he comprehends as a threat to the way he lives his life. For as long as I have known him, he has always sought out strength in his magic instead of improving his mentality. On the inside of him there is a little boy who had lost his family, weak to prevent their deaths, a child who even in a time of power lost and failed to protect the only other person to accept him due to reckless abandon of his own design. Guilt, weakness, and anger, are the driving points of his magic. A year ago I wouldn't have argued with that mentality, it had been my own. Being with Laxus had changed my attitude in how I considered myself and my magic.

I had ended up taking up his advice and applying it unintentionally. Three months into our relationship he had told me of the failings in using anger as an outlet for harbouring magical power. Maybe I hadn't believed him then, but since, my punches have a little more force to them, and my fire a little more sting.

Grey doesn't understand this, nor do I think he wants too. His stubbornness is real shitty.

"You idiot just listen!" I'm just trying to get him to listen for once, but I know it won't really work, never does with Grey really, he has always considered me a moron compared to him. Stuck in his ways. His fist catches on my side, making me choke a little as it echos on my ribs. Of course because he's Grey he uses it as opportunity to use his Ice-make and knocks me over with a well placed hammer to the same side he punched. He's not even arguing with me, he's just angry, as if I'm some sort of enemy he needs to eliminate, the eyes he has are ones I recognize but have never had directed before me. It both sets my blood to a boiling point and freezes my bones at the same time. I have never been nervous around Grey, never wary of his intentions. However, I feel now that were I to drop my guard he would take the opportunity to kill me. Hope sets forth in insuring me that isn't the case, after all he's known me almost all our lives, he's a friend, he wouldn't try to kill me, he wouldn't think it a solution. Still I don't know.

I roll upwards after his strike, already feeling weakened, but I think that's more my resolve to fight him then anything physical. Expecting a fight is different then wanting for one,. I have my fist raised without even thinking about it, but I pull it back. I no longer want to teach him a lesson, I don't care for it anymore. Sure, the anger is still there but its losing place to the emotions of sorrow at the Stripper's attitude, and the feeling I have whenever glancing at Laxus's back -now at the bar. Comforting and soothing from the betrayal I feel, settling if only a little the sorrow so present in me now. Honestly, the lack of anger is nice? I'm not used to it, and its a good absence, a change of pace from something I shouldn't have felt for so long anyway.

He stutters in his step, position unsteady as he sees me back down. No matter how he feels about me, about my boyfriend, I know him. So I do the thing I know will tick him off the most, and grin at him as jovially as I can. "Thanks for the fight Grey, needed to let off some steam. Think I'll go get something to eat now." Like it was any other day, except I have never before thanked him for fighting me. It throws him off, I see it clear as the air itself.

"Hold on! You can't just back out you fucking coward!" Strangely the statement doesn't raise anger like it normally would have.

"Well I am.." My grin stays firm, and it actually feels right, like a simple banter between the two of us. Elfman suddenly stands banging his fist on the table, I'm almost wondering how it didn't break for a second.

"Your no man Natsu! How could you-" I rest my gaze on him, because fighting Elfman does nothing, there is no thrill, his magic simply isn't at my level yet, no matter his newfound strength during Phantomlord's assault.

"Frankly, I don't give a shit about what you people have to say about me, or my boyfriend. I'll love whoever I like." His forehead knots, both his and Grey's they seem almost regretful, but I know better then that. Not far off, Maccou and Wakaba glare fiercely at the ground. I'm not naive enough to think that's the end of their ideals being brought forth. . My eyes go to find Laxus, however, they rest on Lucy first, her shoulders shaking slightly as she stares at me directly. But she swallows and regains herself, posture steadying.

"Natsu, I-" I want to question her, or even stop her before she can finish, but she seems intent so I don't. "I wanted to apologize." That isn't what I had expected. Maybe it shows because she seems to gain more confidence in talking, voice calm without tremor. "You're my friend, its not my place to tell you how to live your life. And if you so happen to be in love with a man, then I'll have to accept it. I just ask that you please be patient with me, and I hope we can still be friends?" My chest lightens at her words, I knew she was a good person at heart.

"Definitely!" I give her my full confidence in that, and she smiles happily, something sweet in relief and kind in her appeasing nature. It was a bit presumptuous of me to assume that she would get it right away, but I'm glad she seems genuinely guilty for what she had said, and her thoughts towards me. So, no matter, it would make me the worse person if I didn't accept her apology. Not far off the sound of my disgruntled guildmate makes a most obvious sound of disgust, it takes a personal struggle to stop from punching him square in the face. Instead, I decide to exemplify myself in a more positive light, and use the rare knowledge Laxus bestowed on me of his native culture.

Basically, its a rude way to say 'fuck off,' in Magolanii (name of Laxus's native tribe) culture. One raises their fist as if shaking it at the other person, but instead, you punch the palm of your other hand into the inner elbow. In colonization times it was usually used as a declaration of indepence from the local tribes. I add on a scowl in show of my current standing with him. Perhaps I could have used the more polite version, but hearing Laxus laughing not far from me in mocking and seeing his eyes give me a glance of pride makes the memorization worth it.

Gramps gives out a loud laugh as well, his more brightened, probably because of the alcohol in his system. Grey only seems confused as do the rest of the gathered guild. Though one thing is obvious: it was meant insultingly. Fullbuster knows this, and turns to Gramps with ice in his eyes as opposed to his palms. "What did he just say?!" However the man is too overcome by drink to answer with a straight face.

Laxus wearing his smug smirk leans on the counter and crosses his arms, looking down his nose at -what I have no doubt- he sees as a little child throwing a tantrum. Not saying a word, clearly he isn't going to bother with Grey, I cannot say that I'm shocked by this, Laxus is a bit of a jerk with people, and if he doesn't consider you worth his time you aren't going to be dealt with like an equal. Admittedly I am in love with a man of ego, still he makes it work, unlike the demandable wizard angrily pointing fingers.

Master regains his composure a little, though he is still giggling slightly. "I believe Grey, Natsu just told you -kids cover your ears- to 'fuck off' more or less. In… I think Magolanii?" He shifts himself a little, probably realizing its a little unlikely for me to know that gesture. "Are you native then Lux?" The strong man turns his head in response, I'm surprised that he has come to accept gramps so quickly as to answer, and honestly at that. Or at least, believes him a man of good character, that he is freely disclosing information.

"Only on my Mother's side." It is Mira who speaks next, ignoring Grey as he growls to himself.

"Do you follow any of the traditions then?" Polite is her tone, but her eyes speak of interest, I even see Lucy pay closer attention, perking up to listen in. Several other guild members start to eavesdrop as well, no doubt curious about Native culture it is not like their are many left after all. For his part, Lux doesn't really seem to care about the prying ears, addressing only Mirajane and Gramps. Very him, he doesn't deal with people well.

"Only a few of them, I didn't grow up in the land." He scarcely follows tradition. If I'm honest I find the ways of the ancient tribes more grounded in fact then the ones presented forth by Zentopia. In fact the way people live in common day life is confusing, especially when you consider how at peace the people of Magolanii are. Much more interesting, Laxus explained to me that those who ground themselves to the spirituality of the earth and the sacred holds of all life, the more powerful ones magic will become. That's why people of native descent are often the most powerful of wizards, however, they do not fight or take jobs like the common guilds.

Truthfully, I want to know more, but I know he won't volunteer the information. The only true tradition I've ever seen him do properly is the cleansing ritual, to shed from you the blood of your enemies. Whenever he does it, I feel so much sorrow from him in his aura, it plagues his scent into that of dreary rainfall. This I think to be the most depressing of times, for whenever his mind is on the ritual I cannot be near him, the scent he carries chokes me. Although afterwards he smells like a clean spring, and I can only assume that the right is not for simple cleansing, but to alleviate guilt from those burdened by death.

Rare as it is, was, whenever he would clean himself around me he would seek me out. Aloofly attaching himself to me, and whispering in the native tongue I try so desperately to understand. Because occasionally in these times of redemption and pain he'll open himself and everything he cannot show bursts forth, and he cries like a child in grief. My mind always works for ways to help him, but I can never focus straightforwardly when confronted with his own moments of strife. Much like my own dealings I never know what is appropriate, except when I feel as such I have him, I have him by me and he is always so keen as to what I need from him. Yet I can never help him.

He cries and buries himself into my chest as I so frequently do to him, and all I do his hold him close. How could anyone consider us disgusting?

"You really love him don't you?" Lucy's voice breaks my thought, and I snap my eyes to her. Laughing a little at my own absence of presence. I hadn't realized I had been staring at his back, not paying attention to the rest of the guild disgruntingly settling down with their new addition. Macao and Wakaba drinking heavily at the bar, as if they needed to burn away the day from memory. Grey and Elfman are glaring about, whispering to each other, no doubt hatefully. Lucy seems to be the calmest in the hall, apprehensive in her posture, but yet, compassion shines clear in her eyes, and she meets mine with a clear gaze not beholden with any type of fear. "You were staring at him like he was the moon and stars." She giggled, good humour, trying to make herself understand something she doesn't fully comprehend. All the while making me feel comfortable by not changing herself. Lucy's a rare one thats for sure.

My worry about her being as Grey seem to be unfounded. "I was not!" I respond instead of thanking her, if normality is what she wants then I can accept that.

"You were! I thought you were gonna start fluttering your eyelashes!" I could not have been that far gone! Stupid Lucy must've been seeing things. Even so, I feel a heat in my cheeks displaying like a beacon of guilt. Happy flutters by the picture of self peace with a fish in his paws, sitting at the table beside and raising one paw in comment.

"Lucy's right Natsu, your in looooooovvveeeee!" I was really hoping I hadn't made it too obvious, although Happy would make the same claim to anyone, still a smug evil expression rests on his face, confident that he has it all figured it out. "Just admit it." He starts nibbling on his fish, teasing as he does so. "Natsu and Lux sitting in a tree-"

"Shut it Happy!" Lucy is laughing along, revalling for once in his taunting where she never had before.

"-k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" They both finish laughing along with each other, and I glimpse a hidden high-paw behind their backs, as they both wear darken expressions. Embarrassment is clear in my mind still its a nice change of atmosphere, and it is lessened considerably from what it would normally be.

"You can talk Lucy, where's yoouur boyfriend?" She gaped at that one, and Happy looks at her with a smile, clearly thinking the same as I am.

"You fell into that one Lu." The familiar voice shakes both me and Lucy from our banter, as Levi joins into our conversation, looking the picture of perfect health. Nay a scratch upon her, though she does look a little tired. I wonder how much she heard, honestly, I'm just glad she's doing alright. Lucy seems delighted, considering her jumping onto the poor woman, Levi seems to welcome it, so I don't say anything. I do give her a smile however. "Natsu!" Me and her don't normally speak so she catches me off guard with her apparent delight at seeing me. "That's one fine looking hulk of a man you got!" She winks at me, and I have to laugh at it, her natural way of lightening the mood could've been very useful just a little while ago.

"Well I have to agree with you there!" Giggles fill the hall, sorely missed from her time healing, it is a nice return to how things were with her good humour ringing about the place as it always has. Jet and Droy don't seem to be doing so bad either, joining in with their team leader in earnest. They don't seem to mind my and Laxus's relationship, which is refreshing seen as it is currently being gossiped about in every corner of the guild.

Others take notice of their return and some come to greet team shadow gear back home, Grey and Elfman included, I have to resist scowling at them both. There's the normal inquiries about health and concern spread among those gathered, Mira suggesting that they should all eat something to get their strength back, while Lucy manages to fret and joke about in between questions with the other girl. I see eyes glaring down at me, and I force them back with my own feelings of rebellion. A strain between me and at least half the crowd building.

However before it can snap, Master calls out from next to Laxus -who I note has turned in curiosity.- At their return. "Ah, good your back, I have something I want to ask you lot." He wears with him a grim expression, and in response Levi nods equally as seriously, bidding an 'excuse me,' as she goes to meet him. Laxus in good manner distances himself from their conversation, and I decide to go to him instead of leaving myself with those unwelcoming of my company. He vacates himself to a table instead of the bar, letting the Master and Levi have privacy for their serious conversation.

Hopping ontop of the table directly in front of him hardly garners any reaction, other then moving his beer away from where I had been about to knock it over. He's more then used to it by now, in fact he has taken to reading the newspaper, that had been tucked underneath his arm. No doubt following habit. Its mean of him to not even pay me any attention, not that I would pout or any thing like that. But I was hoping in part, to hear what he thought of our guildhall, or just the people in general, even if he hasn't faced their best side yet. I go to speak when he lays his hand on my thigh stroking his thumb back and forth. A position we have had for a very long time now. He mutters when reading, squinting a little, and I try to follow along to the disjointed words for something to do.

He throws the paper down within a few minutes scowling as he tosses it carelessly onto the tabletop. Something must have annoyed him. So naturally I go to look for myself, I'm stopped by him shaking his head at me resolutely head in hand. This time I stare at him, furrowing my brows and waiting for an explanation, he opens his mouth to speak, but sighs instead, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand.

"Are you certain that's a good idea Master?!" Levi's voice reaches me a tilt to it I cannot pinpoint. "I mean, if you think that it'll help… I'm okay with it." She holds her arm, biting her lip, nervous at whatever he had purposed. I have to wonder that is, it doesn't sound good, or look that way from how she responded. I don't hear him continue, as their conversation goes quiet once more.

Pressure on my thigh, has me looking over to Laxus, who still has a far off look in his eyes, thinking of something far different, that too cannot be good, as he is insuring himself of my presence. Occasionally he'll need to, but it is not a regular thing for him. Not that I dislike it, I enjoy having him having near me just as much as he does. Lucy walks over, appearing as nervous as Levi, not looking away from her friend talking to Gramps.

"I wonder what that's about?" She questions me, hoping I can provide an answer by proximity. I shake my head.

"No idea. Nothing good." By me my boyfriend sighs once more, but I know he hasn't heard any of us. He has selective hearing in moments like these. The blue hair of Levi wobbles as she nods once more to Gramps, then makes her way, with wary eyes to where me and Lucy are, still holding her arm. She stops and both of us wait for whatever she wanted to say. She breathes through her nose, I'm a little surprised to see irritation in the action. So far removed from her usual pleasant happy aura.

"Apparently, Master is going to invite Juvia of the Element Four to join the guild." Ah, that must have been why she hesitated. From what I understand though, Juvia wasn't too bad a person, even if she did work with Phantom. Though I could see why someone who was so directly targeted by her guild would be nervous about letting one of them join. "That's not all. He wondered, if I'd be comfortable allowing Gajeel to join as well."

"WHAT?!"

"ARE YOU GOING SENILE GRAMPS?!" Both me and Lucy break forth the fragile statement pronounced by the wary woman in front of us. Yelling directly, not heeding Levi who tries to calm us down in a frazzled state. Placating hands held up, and smile in place. Celestial and Dragonslayer alike, we both get a harsh glare from Gramps in return, a reprimand for disturbing the guild, but nothing more harsh then that. Fingers jab into my leg, and I turn to yell at my boyfriend for interupting my anger at such a ridiculous notion. When any thought of reprimand flees me in staring into blue-grey eyes and is all let out in the sigh I produce. I hate how he can do that so fastly. Laxus holds my knee, not straying his eyes from mine, speaking annoyed.

"The hell you yelling about?" He really hadn't been paying any attention, I growl a little at his obliviousness, he could of at least paid attention to what was going around him before reprimanding me for my anger. I cross my arms, meeting his stare.

"Levi, just told us that Master Makarov intends to invite Juvia and Black Steel Gajeel to join Fairytail." Lucy replies for me, which is unfair. On the outside, Laxus hardly responds, but I feel his hand tense and his jaw tick at the information. He doesn't like it either. He lets go of me.

"Huh, good then, I've heard a lot about this guy, I'd like to have a chat with him." I catch onto the double meaning, but anyone else, not acquainted with the ways of the Dark Wizards wouldn't have caught onto his meaning. I think it best to tell him not to do anything like that. But I know it wouldn't do anything really, I have to wonder at his reaction though. It wasn't as if Phantomlord has harmed or slighted him in anyway. Yet he seems smug at the fact, downright expectant, for when he can threaten the metal dragon. Admittedly it makes me a little cautious at the glee in his eyes. He has not come out of Raventail without a few sadistic tendencies afterall, I just hope he won't display them publicly, or go overboard. Even if the jerk deserves a little payback for what he did to Shadow Gear and our hall, I am one who believes in second chances; example being me and Laxus's relationship.

Lucy on the other hand, doesn't get what he's throwing down. Even in the wake of his intimidation, she narrows her eyes. "Good? That guy beat team Shadow Gear to a pulp not to mention destroyed our guildhall! And you want to have a friendly conversation with the man?!" Yeah, she definitely didn't understand what he meant. For his part my blond man seems to understand this. Taking it in stride, and simply raising his eyebrow at her indignation.

"I didn't say friendly princess."


	8. Chapter 8

No one was steady. Malice hung in the hall particularly thick. Myself, I could only feel pensive, waiting, patient for some sign negative or positive that would decide for me my actions. That doesn't stop automatic anger from frothing forth and spilling from my eyes like venom., scowling down at a cause for trouble so clear in his form one could find the word explained with the very description of his face. Pierced heavily, with red set eyes, and punk torn clothes, boots of heavy leather like he owned the very concept of animal cruelty, and a sharp scowl more prominent then my own, with fangs longer and sharper to bare forth.

Looking to him, my mind does not speak calmly, only of his past and actions of sadism. Yet I know well enough not to hold him at face-value, just because I have no need for friendship with the man does not mean I can't be applicable. After all, I know of the many things my boyfriend has done and I don't hold him to them, I can't be harsh without being a hypocrite. Perhaps in my own disposition I have only put myself into further difficulty.

Levi has taken to removing herself far away from the man. Droy and Jet are glaring from a corner, Macao and Wakaba drinking at the bar. That doesn't sake the distrust from the room, no one is calm, everyone has their eyes open ready for any action.

Strangely I find my combat skills in play. Yet I am not watching and waiting for my metal counterpart to make a move. No indeed, it is my observance that is taking into attention; That is the fact that the entire guild seems less intensive with someone who destroyed and hurt us, then myself when I presented Laxus forth. How does that make sense? They were not made aware of his past, so they cannot site that as reason for distrust. They were more cautious with me and Laxus because we-

My blood chills in my body. I know not why it doesn't boil over. In place of my usual anger, so simple and easy, I think what fills me now, what chills my blood. A crushed disappointment in those I care for. Hopelessness of complete acceptance. Maybe I had been foolish to even spark a dream that could be my reality. Gajeel holds more confidence in my guild then I do.

Well! Should that be my situation- I stuffle the frigidity in my body and make for the metal dragonslayer. I am a man of second chances am I not? I have proven this to myself. Might as well be charitable. Even despite my own dislike of the man, I don't know him nor his circumstance, and that at least deserves investigating. Besides, I do know how to deal with shuffling information out of tough guys with dark pasts. Not something I had ever thought myself to be proud of.

I don't drink much, nearly at all, I like my sobriety actually. I found only one time where I had gotten drunk I had found myself trying to seduce the entire company of drunk men. Not something that can happen in Magnolia without problems. Still, I grab a beer from one of my fellows knocked out by black out, still full.

The bench makes a creaking sound as I sit, though Gajeel has been watching me approach. Staring, he says nothing. Waiting for me, I equally respond, finding myself under the impression that a Dark Wizard is looking to me. Nevertheless, I don't think it'll be me who breaks first. I am right by his annoyed grunt as he swings from his mug, and I lean against the backwards bench.

"I don't want your company Salamander. Get lost." He grumbles. Fire does not reside in his attitude however, more of a mumble then a true declaration. Now, red gazes refuse to meet my eyes. I don't know him well, but if I didn't know better, I would say he's embarrassed.

"They're staring at me more then you.' I reside myself to an arbitrary form of response, not dealing with his demand. Drink from my own mug, decidingly put out with the weight on my back. He himself seems to take my words as truth giving the area a brief once over with his elbow resting on the wood like a suspicious bar paton. His finger tapps on the surface for a moment, glaring at me from where he is slouched forward.

"I'll bite. Why? It ain't just because you decided to sit with me." Wish it had been that simple, its not like I'm gonna get more affection from what I'm doing now though.

"My boyfriend joined yesterday. They didn't like it." . He grunts, yet there is amusement hidden underneath, smirking as if he was aware of something so very important. Raising his mug he waits for a moment, and we clink in a melancholy cheers. All I can assume is that he as I has something to hide or should have hidden in himself with blood rusted anger.

"You got courage salamander." He drinks gluttony not resting juglar speaking well enough of regrets kept from view. His hand causing a spill over his chin, when he allows himself breath he stares so intently, baring down a weight in expression alone. "Watch yourself. Those council fucks don't hold back." The arm so leisurely resting on the tabletop balls into a fist. Is it a wonder that I curiously tilt my head to him, wondering what had happened in his shoes, why he is so strained? "Knew a woman, real charmer, friend a mine even. She had a lover, tough chick. Anyway Master Josi wasn't a nice man but liberal, didn't say nothin bout them, ya dig? So this friend of mine she comes up to me one day, tells me that her and her partner is pregnant and they are gonna try to raise the kid all secret-like. Me? Good friend that I am congratulate her, got a baby gift and everything. Few weeks later she comes crashing into the guild, cryin- no sobbin."

I feel a pit form as he continues solid in his thoughts, detached in the way he speaks, he must have thought about this alot, more then a lot for him to feel so absent as he recalls. "The knights came right up to their door, when she answered it they knocked her out immediately, no chance for her to defend herself. They completely ignored her rights, they didn't see her as human I suppose…." He trailed himself off, becoming quiet, his eyes cast left, not breathing for a long span of time. Then he filtered back in, away from his memories, I dread what he'll say next. Gajeel is not the type of man who was emotionally weak, mental fortitude was what Metalicana had thrived on according to my dad, so if he was this shaken…. It couldn't be anything good. "When she came too, she was staring right into her lovers dead eyes. They killed her, they killed a woman who was six months pregnant because she dare lay with a woman."

I-

"She begged Master to save her, to save the baby, to do something! He couldn't., The entire guild tried so fuckin hard to help, but how the hell could we?" His eyes drop, bitter so bitterly shaking smile. "I dug for her, looked into the White Knight platoon that had done it….. You know, some people are fuckin sick? I couldn't tell her, how the fuck could I say to her that her parents had done it?" He drinks. Large drunken-like gulps. I feel bile so acidic form. Parents. I want to throw up so bad. Want to erase everything I just heard.

He steals my drink, I stare at the wood. "Salamander." Methodically I focus on his expression, straight-faced, serious as his persona. "Your lover, he a wizard?" My head nods on its own. "He can protect himself right?" Vision blurs, I can't find myself caring, the very thought of them trying to do what they had done to those poor women to me and Laxus shifts my entire head into lightheadedness. Laxus is more powerful then I. Maybe if I could be more clear headed I would deny that. He has, and can deal with a few White knights no magic needed there were tricks to it apparently.

I need to warn him. Why? Why do I need to, he probably already knows. Screaming, my mind comes with the thought so loud so frantic, I think it can't be me for a moment. I'm scared.

I don't want to fight. I don't want to run. I don't know what to do.

"He is- was a Darzird." A peek of humour whispers at the uncommon slang, its been awhile. Gajeel blinks at me, red eyes wide.

"Huh, didn't think you'd be into that type of man. Of all people." Warmth returns from the numb sensation. Its almost amusement breaking free.

"Shut up metalhead."

"No seriously, aren't they all meatheads with overinflated egos?" He wasn't wrong… Technically. Instead of irritation the comment is actually… funny.

"You dissin my man Black Steal?" He coughs out in his laughter, the tone in between us sits heavy with understanding, but not restricted by it. A strange comradence, far from friendship, but crossing unabashedly into respect. A type of stupid humour dancing between us compromising the serious atmosphere we had thus crafted. I open my mouth, wanting to add something ridiculous to the conversation and avoid the frozen topic from earlier. However, Gramps has taken to standing tall -or… short- on the stair ledge with a rather serious expression put upon himself. Clearing his throat loudly for attention.

"Erza, Grey, Lucy, and Natsu. You lot pay attention." Strictly speaking considering the present circumstances I was expecting some sort of reprimand. That is not what followed. "You have been selected to help our allies combat a dangerous dark guild." Erza breathed deeply, that reaction of settlement and with her anticipation. Although the thought of beating up a bunch of dangerous wizards has its appeal. Oddly, I know that I should be more excited then usual, but I know that dark guilds aren't always what they seem, so maybe its apprehension that holds my own eagerness back. 'Their name is the Oracion Seis, a guild composed of seven members," Did Laxus not mention them? I remember some sort of laughter following, but not much else., I'm pretty sure he was plastered that day.

"Great! When do we leave?!" Grey casts me a scowl,

I return it in equal measure, but that isn't unlike him at all. Were the situation less hostile between us, it could even be considered friendly, or our version of it anyway. One has to wonder just how such a teamup will work now. Grey begins a long, not thought out rant in complaint, while Erza starts to scold, I meanwhile, leave to go pack the nuances.

* * *

Much, much later I lay on prone on the dirt path, a fallen young girl laying on my chest. Tears the size of raindrops coating my clothes, streaming cries of lonely fear. Shaking shoulders reminiscent to shivers, all representing a chill of absence. I understood all too well, particular to her circumstance I sympathize. Not long before now, her tears were ones of elation, relief that the place she grew was not a lie, that it had been saved.

Currently we are resting on a pathside fireplace our designated camp for the night, I wonder how long she will stay within misery. I say nothing though, instead I braid her hair for distraction onto myself, and so that it doesn't get dust or snot on it. I had very long hair once, when younger, I insisted that Igneel not cut it, until realizing that it couldn't be properly washed, Wendy wouldn't have had that problem. I did braid Laxus's hair as well, he had shoulder blade length hair once, I'd loved it, Ivan less so.

Wendy doesn't make any sounds only a gentle breathing and the fluttering of eyelids, fallen asleep from exhausted crying. I'm almost glad, hopefully the need will have fled her by morning.

* * *

Stomach rolling, vision spinning I drop from the cart -if it can even be called that with all its spinning madness- Grey and Wendy laugh with all too different tones. Only for the slight on his part do I rise more quickly then normal. Certainly, he will find an invisible link should I fail to much before his eyes. Surprisingly I almost succeed in forcing myself up quicker then my body would find acceptable. Were it not for the way I saw the entire town shift onto a ninety degree angle, I might have been able to pull it off. Erza's metal elbow connects directly with my side and jolts me to a position similar to upright.

Needless to say, it takes me awhile to regain myself, and I do end up ungracefully falling onto one of the hall tables. Hips digging painfully into the wood -ha!- my hand also falls into someones drink. Which is sticky and gross -ha!-, but it also cools down the superheated nature of my skin at the moment. Obviously, I feel worse then normal, probably because I tried to rush myself, and this is the result.

Honestly, I want my bed, though the table is real comfortable right now, and I don't really care to move. Were Laxus carrying me in a hold I wouldn't protest, he's all comfortable and stuff. Only if he makes sure not to rock me when walking, but he's never done that to date. Hm, Laxus and bed, and lazy kisses sound real nice right now. Of course, he isn't here though, he would have come over by now, still on that stupid trial job Master sent him on. Someone mumbles to me, and I know because I feel their hand on my shoulder. Don't know what they could possibly saying, so I just grant them a thumbs up, and allow the table the company of my head on its cool surface.

No one touches me after that, and the lightheadedness ebates, in raising my eyes the room doesn't spin, and my stomach doesn't jolt forward as if wanting an escape. The noise hits me at once, but at least its familiar, everyone is once more clustered together, this time around Wendy speaking excitedly, and laughing among each other. Whatever had occurred to her in the past, I hope she can find some sort of salvation here, as I did. I'm sure no matter what she'll fit in just fine.

"Natsu?" I hear next to me, Mira speaking softly, clearly not wanting to startle after my own collapsing onto a table. In her dainty hands is a small letter, not sealed but clean and unfolded. She hand it me, and I recognize the bolded scrolled lettering anywhere. Laxus must have left it for her to give me, which means he must have been back before I was. That's annoying. I glance at Wendy first, because honestly I want to go and join in, but I know well enough my presence would not be a welcome affair, and would sour the greeting for the other dragonslayer.

Natsu,

Don't get pissy, I got back earlier then expected. Heard from the Master you went on some dangerous job with the red-head, spoiled princess, and that stripper. Reading this; I'm glad you didn't get your ass killed. Bet you probably battled that cocky asshole Cobra too. Eric can be a real pain, so I hope for mine and your sake you didn't lose any limbs. Only reason I didn't chase your ass down is because I heard that the Wizard Saint Jura was going to be helping out, otherwise I would have told Master he was a moron for sending you lot to deal with that guild. I'm sure you know they pack a serious punch, no matter how irritating that leader of theirs is.

I went on a quick trip to go and get some stuff I left at you-know-where, so I'll probably have to deal with my Pops for a few days.

I didn't get a chance to talk with Black Steel either.

I also thought since your birthday is coming up, I'd try to get you something special seen as your away. Our anniversary is coming up to right? Put out a list of things you wanna do and I'll see if I can arrange something.

See you at home.

~Lux

Typical. In pure stubborn nature I want to get pissy, just to spite him. I can't. He remembered our anniversary, and my birthday, which for someone with a bad memory to anything that isn't a grudge, is an impressive feet. Its also the fact that a gitty, bubble-popping sensation is rising at my chest at the fact he said 'home.' We have a home, living together like a normal couple. I actually find myself wanting to giggle -but hold it at the back of my throat in fear of Elfman.

Unfortunately I cannot ignore the springing understanding that Ivan will be a problem. Even as a Guild Master he isn't that strong, surely not as powerful as Laxus, but even the aloof man that he is. There is a lingerence that things needn't be bad between him and his father. That, more then anything concerns me. Still, worrying about that jerk won't get me anywhere but a world of stress, so instead I think I'll go talk with Erza who is speaking with an irate expression to Mira. I walk over unashamed and mostly unconcerned, knowing the two of them it is their familiar sense of sibling like rivalry.

"-but how?! Given the current laws-" Mira grins widely smiling like the cat who got the cream while Erza slams her fist on the table. From where I am I cannot decide if it is good-natured or anger that causes the action. In caution of her own nack for backstabbing her elbow -which is covered in armour I should add- I hold back from walking further.

"I know it wouldn't be easy! But Erza I saw it myself! Actually, he told me!" Erza leans close to the platinum woman, whispering so none can hear. I don't frequent myself to eavesdropping but the conversation is a strange one, and it has my curiosity skyrocketing. This is excluding the fact that the known warrior is blushing profusely, a twinkle in her eyes as if such information was a new set of priceless armour.

"I just can't believe it!" She says, and in hearing that. I have to admit defeat and announce myself because honestly I get nowhere with this. They can talk around anything all day, however: "Lux actually told you -" At the exact moment I want to continue listening because him telling anyone anything is more then a little rare, however, they stop as the Guildoors open wide and in steps the topic of conversation, conveniently hushing their whispers. Bandages are wrapped loosely around his forearms and he sports a black eye sharpening the blood from his split lip in contrast of purple and poignant red.

By the look of him I'd have to guess he hasn't cleaned them up. My mind flinches in butter reaction, my hope of his freedom from his father's violence as he joined Fairytail seems but a foolish desire. Maybe it was something I never understood, how someone could beat on their own child, how someone so unapologetically nonchalant couldn't strike back against his own violent father.

Knowing the routine I make my way to him, stubbornness will flare quickly and I need to deal with his injuries before he even starts. His mouth opens as he sees me, predictably..

"Sit, not dealing with your stubborn pride." His glare is smoldering, though he knows well enough I don't give a damn. For he sits regardless, wherein I can see his eye and lip clearly. At least they don't look infected yet, but his lip has a smudge of dirt on it, and that has me cleaning it with my finger so fastly he flinches at the press of my touch.. Before I can see fit to continue a sudden bell chimes, and the blaring echo of the towns loudspeaker covers the guild.

"GILDARTS SHIFT IN PROGRESS, PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR HOMES AND BUSINESSES. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. GILDARTS SHIFT IN PROGRESS." The old man is back early. I consider that. Although knowing of Gildarts as I do, I can only conclude that he had finished the job with little issue. Underneath my eyes I catch the m,ovement Laxus makes to late, and am suddenly grabbed by the waist, firm hands digging in as if I would take my leave reproachfully. Perhaps had he and I not been seperated, however, I find that with him so near so often I cannot allow for his disappearances as easily as I once had. The urge to forgo conventional spacing dwindled each day our company became more intertwined with each other. Where we had both previously shared a need of seclusion, I think under this change of pacing we both have found more comfort in proximity then we did before.

"We should make out." That on the other hand does give me a little shock, as well as a jolt of interest and caution. Laxus has never asked that in public space, certainly not within eyeshot of a light guild, nevermind his own aloof attitude. It doesn't really fit him, so I have to assume that circumstance must be causing to act strange. He pulls me in closer before I can respond.

He doesn't get very fair before the door opens with a bang. Gildarts not looking his age as usual, the tenseness of his face at ease as it ever was. I want to go up and get in a good punch before he can realize what hit him, a nice cuff in the back he'll be to slow to counteract, for old times sake. My boyfriend's grip on me tightens as soon as I attempt to move to do as I bid. His overprotective nature showing, and I swivel in on him, ready to give him a piece of my mind for not letting me see someone I know.

"Natsu, hey bud!" The ginger man cuts in before I get the opportunity to speak my mind, and I glance back at him with a familiar sense of home settling over my shoulders. "You've grown I-" He stops staring just behind me wide eyed before his entire demeanor changes, shifts in a way I don't recognize. He takes a step forward, and the floor beneath him splits, I feel the residual tremors and nearly fall over at their intensity, grasping for purchase at the table behind my peripheral catches Laxus standing.

His face thundered with concentration. I know it well, when he thinks there is a threat. I want to protest, however, my throat shuts tight at the expression Gildarts bares as well. Both of them see an enemy, and I just happen to be right inbetween the invisible battle.

"I wanna know why there's a dark wizard in my guildhall." An aura erupts from them both at the same time, a warning to the other to back off before a serious fight breaks out snapping, crackling I feel from Laxus has my static around me going crazy, raw pressure from the elder making my lungs choke. The severity is so impossibly high that their aura's filter through and there is a daunting mist of white pressurized air crushing the ground, alongside a stream of bright yellow raging into the atmosphere and causing my own hair to stand on end from the power.

Laxus has never displayed this much intimidating air around me before. Always keeping rather passive, but this is…. Not something I could have guessed to have happened, not to him. He'd never gotten serious in a fight before, always meandering his way through with a lazy step as I had fun taking down tough and easy oppoints at my own leisure. That isn't the case here, he's serious, angry, and its intimidating. Even to me.

"Back off." Laxus growls, and Gildarts jaw ticks.

"You want this to end as it did last time brat?" Because I will gladly comply." Another step shakes the ground, and I find myself sitting on the stone.

"Don't underestimate me."

"Shouldn't you be in Raventail? Does Ivan really think he can cozy up to Fairytail by sending in a spy?" A sharp crack broke the air with the unpleasant dispersion of magic power frothing around Gildarts. Laxus was hardly more controlled. The echo he invaded around him was a sting. Still both were holding themselves with a relative restraint even though the tension could snap at any given moment. Laxus was pressured and Gildarts sensed threat by the man he knew not. It was a bad situation, and I have the want to put it to an end before either of them reaches an apex. However, the grappling, stinging, suffocating magic power has me paralized, my legs refuse to move in any other way then trembling..

Maybe I would have felt more brave if I wasn't aware of my teeth chattering the sound lodging in my skull. My eyes still on Laxus, a vain showing on his temple, the muscles around his neck straining. I know both of them, I know both of them well so my own ineptitude is shitty at best. No one knows Laxus as I do, I'm the only one who can calm him down, Gildarts I've grown up with, however, most in the guild would hopefully be able to calm him down. I tear my eyes away from the fight of dominance and stare into the crowd instead.

There isn't much to see, a stone settles into my stomach at the cold glares cast to my boyfriend, obviously they trusted their own pronounced S-class mage more, but surely they couldn't be wanting a fight in their own repaired hall? This was becoming desperate. Where was Gramps?

I need to do something, anything besides sitting down and staring.

It happens before I can even try getting up though, Gildarts shifts moving forward in a leaning motion hand outstretched, Laxus shifts to his left side nearly coliding into the wall as the wall behind cracks and crumples. I'd never seen it used in an actual battle before, the fact that its being displayed in a brawl based on misunderstanding helps me little. Gildarts rears towards his target. Back facing me, and a horrible but manageable idea grips me. I jab my fingers using a slight flame on their tips into his knee, forcing him to stumble. As he does Laxus's gaze connects with mine wide eyed tension around his forehead.

"He's not a spy." I say, not shaking from the truth of my words. I get a sputter in turn, and face it with a glare of my own, as I stand, not graceful in the slightest.

"Natsu, stay out of this, he's strong he won't hesitate to leave you black and blue." It was muttered as a type of secret no one but himself could be aware of. Maybe through the tension and abusdity of reality that my chest bubbles and a laugh escapes in true humour. But considering the pressure so easily recalled from the atmosphere simply of hands pressing down on me in desperation has me coughing in laughter. It is with restraint that I manage to control myself, knowing well enough that I had at least two pairs of eyes staring at me in disbelief, honesty it was ridiculous even for me.

Naturally, Gildarts would have just assumed I was being my normal defensive self, walking blindly forward on my own conviction. He wasn't necessarily wrong. Unfortunately that moment is one to late, before in front of me Gildart rears light escaping a clenched fist before it connects with Laxus's jaw. It sends my body reacting, red smearing suddenly into my eyes, and fire lighting in a pit I had tried so hard to stifle.

Everything runs fast, connecting my foot with bone landing harshly, eyes looking down at me in glowing visage. The heat spurs onto my fist as I grapple for a hold on his hair, sound so loud blocks my rational. I tug as powerfully as my muscles contact to the strength put forth, Lower now, I can aim, before I can I feel something press on my chest. And all objects blur momentarily as my back connects with something and I suddenly cannot breathe. I gasp, it hurts, for a reason I don't understand. Everything blurs once more. Yet I can still see him tall and red haired raising from where he had been downed.

My back hurts.

My chest hurts.

My eyes are stinging.

My legs quiver..

The concrete doesn't let me move. I don't know where I am, but something runs down the side of my face, and its annoying and warm.

The world clarifies.

It hurts. Something stabbed me! Stinging into my back. My head pounds as I try to move it, my leg cramps. Something clumps in my throat, and I cough, with pain to my lungs. Something is wrong! I know! I open my mouth, working, I let loose a restrained sound, working.

"I-" Its quiet and my head screams at me for even that.

I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. My mouth opens on its own, pain already striking through my jaw.

"LAXUS!" HELP!"


	9. Chapter 9

So loud spoke a voice directly into my ear, a calm monotone, cold nonchalance, gravitating, bouncing around and leaving a soothing relaxation to my frantically running mind. I feel hardly anything, nothing below my knee, breathing is automatic so I know it must be occurring, however I can’t feel my chest, perhaps I am compressed? My head is heavy against a pillow, but its the type of sensation that I recognize as lightheadedness, I can’t move upwards. My lower back is entirely numbed out I can’t feel my spine on the comforter. 

 

In opening my eyes I expect some discomfort, the sun maybe, or a glaring dizzying nausea, instead everything is blurred and a loud ringing remains in the position of clarity. As it clears the shapes of colours form figures, the room becoming the tree of Polyusca’s medical facility. The sun above me becomes Laxus, looking to something distant, his head turned far to his right and hiding the predominance of his face from me. His coat is absent, and I can hear his music blasting from his earphones from where I lay, loud guitar I instantly realized to be my favourite song. 

 

“I knew you liked it, liar.”  The rate his head snaps to me, the bleakness of his expression, shut me up, my jaw clicks shut. Serious and silent, expressionless, tense, and his breathing seems to be solely through his nose. I have nothing for this situation, I’ve only been under hospice care twice in my life and never while Laxus was in it. He’s perched on the edge of his chair, bent over with tightly intertwined fingers. They unlock and he grabs at my idle hand closest, clasping it with sweaty palms it was brought to his lips with a squeezing grip. 

 

“Thank fuck.” He slumps over so visually, I can actually make out the shape of his shoulders from their previous position. As if they were triggered by verbal response, twin streams of tears burst from his eyes in a gentle flow of salt and water. He is a man of mocho demeanor, however, with that inlay the knowledge that it was entirely possible for him to cry as any normal man, that doesn’t mean my brain processes the sight any faster. Odd, is what it titles the experience, but it feels surreal. To have such a rigid man under the whim of emotions I can’t understand what could have happened to trigger such a response. I do recall the fight or dickfight rather between him and Gildarts, an insurmountable power arising from both of them. My own irrationality. A pain behind me and screaming, hardly anything else. I must have keeled over. 

 

But I’m not a spring flower, Laxus knows this, I know how to handle my pain. So for me to be under care, for him to be so scared I must have been in a pretty crap position. My teeth grit at the thought, being downed in one blow, even if it was by a capable adversary just snaps wrongly in mine mind. Lightheadedness or not being here, playing weak and in pain simply isn’t an option, I have to get up and have myself in shape. The fact that I am here means that someone was able to pull the old man away, maybe even rationalize him, but I can’t put all my faith into that. Moving upwards sends a piercing sharp feeling racing through my back as an uncomfortable and pained heat, it has me collapsed back on the comforter a whimper escaping. Unfortunately catching my overprotective boyfriend’s attention. Yet doesn’t seem to have noticed I was trying to move up, if I had managed to get halfway it wouldn’t be a problem, however seen as there seems to be something amiss with my back I don’t think he’d appreciate the effort. 

 

His eyes snap to me for a moment, but he is hasty to hide their redness and his head moves down just as quickly. I want to comfort him, but I don’t know how, its been a really long while since I’ve been in this bad of a condition. Whatever I say would either injure his pride or lay insult to myself, and he hates whenever I both of those things. I notice that my hand tickles -the one not being needily grasped- only to see that my blanket is actually the lightning mages coat. Despite the situation a little thrill works its way through me, and a burst of strong giddy excitement bubbles in me, I bite my lip from saying anything. Right now isn;’t the time. 

 

The door creaks open, and in steps the other pinkhead of the guild, tall and resting with a dower expression. She aims her sights at me, only peeking over at my guest, and dismissing him quickly. Suddenly I want to know just how bad off I really am, she never lets more then two people in her little corner for long. Noticing her, walking closer, Laxus straightens and only the faint tracemarks on his cheeks indicate he was crying at all. I marvel at his ability, and want for it. He seems more put together though, breathing steadily stiff shoulders even toned face. He doesn’t let go of my hand. 

 

“Well Natsu, how do you feel?” Should I lie? Well no, she never takes that well. “I can’t feel anything below my knees, I moved my back and had this hot stabbing pain, my head feels heavy unless I move it off the pillow then its just too light…” I dare not look to my peripheral, knowing that a glare would be awaiting me.

 

“You certainly shouldn’t feel good. You hit your head pretty badly there was some minor exterior damage and your neck will feel sore for a few days. You did have some fluid in your lungs but that was quickly taken care of. My main concern is your lower back and your right leg.” Whenever a woman such as Polyusca said the word concern was a reason to feel exactly that. Her work ethic was to walk on the eggshells scattered and be as brash as possible as to not invoke a delirium. Bedside manner was much the same, her methods were far from kind, but well practised, she never showed worry unless the situation was serious. 

 

The grip on my hand tightened, but in a glimpse there was no alternating of the expression already displayed, concentration.  The medic looked to be readying herself for continuing when in through the window came a blur of blue. “Lux did Natsu wake up yet?!” A moment of relief stole through me in hearing Happy, he had flown straight to Laxus if nothing else this had brought Happy and him seeming to have formed a companionship in my absence of consciousness. A loud sigh encompasses the room from its owner. No doubt in argument of just haow many people are in her spare of space. 

 

“Pay attention furball.” Is all he says, to which I know Happy will only be confused by, little nose scrunching, he looks to me regardless and his cute little face lights up, I grin at him as best I can it strains my neck slightly. Of course this bids him to fly into me, just on my chest as he used to when he was a young kitten. Normally he wouldn’t he doesn’t enjoy people knowing that we are as close as this. 

 

It seems that he has made an exception. “Natsu, your injuries are important.” She breaks the moment, not that their had been one building, still Happy doesn’t move from me, warm as soft as always. Though because she is so serious I pay attention where I regularly wouldn’t in true brash nature. “First, your back. When you were ejaculated from the wall a piece of the stone got lodged in your lower back narrowly avoiding your spine. Luckily I doubt it will greatly impair your normal movements, but running will be difficult and forbidden while recovering.” I freeze in that, running forward was always kind of my methodology. To know that it would be painful would literally change my entire fighting style. “Next-”

 

“There’s more?” Happy whines, he seems overwhelmed already. I shush him quietly, not feeling very inclined to comfort right now. 

 

“As I was saying: Your lower leg was twisted in two places and it broke at the center. That wouldn’t be too much of a problem if your kneecap hadn’t shifted It was wedged to the side I had to force it back into place. Unfortunately the bone of the kneecap is fragile and it fractured when it got shifted, and once more when I repositioned it. I had to place special metal clamps within what remained of the cartilage to keep it stable. I’ll be frank Natsu, your leg is in very poor condition, another blow like that and your knee will be unsalvageable.” 

 

Laxus is the first to act. “It’ll cripple him.” The woman nodded, twisted expression her face. I just have this pit dropping into my stomach at the news, I had expected it to be bad, but nothing like this. To be crippled as a wizard would ruin my entire reputation I can’t feel the broken bone, nor the strappings of metal within, and yet I know that everything rides on stability and that is a sinking dread laying as a noxious gas in my stomach. Beside me my partner breaths deep a lingering hold “So what do we do?” At this I look to him, and see so clear in his eyes a precious tenderness, a tilt to mine own reality. ‘we?’ Should guilt arise with his conviction unto me? 

 

I cannot steal my eyes away from his visage. “I want him off that leg for at least a month, his back however is the main issue in this case. He’ll need to stay off his feet for awhile. Even I don’t know how long that may pertain to for a dragonslayer, he has a vastly different biology then most humans, its possible it could heal itself quickly, but it could also take far longer. I’d say a wheelchair for four weeks at least, and then crutches for another two, just to be on the safe side.” Jabs of realization hit me, I can’t work. Laxus has only taken one job from Fairytail he’s still relatively new, and he can’t get to S-class without taking the test first. On top of that it would be wrong of me to have him care for me the entire time with no money of my own to put forth. He’ll have to take low paying jobs and there’s nothing I can do to help him with it. 

 

Frustration stings at me intensely, I can’t afford to remain idle for that long! “I can’t do anything! C’mon there’s no way I can-” 

 

“Natsu, please just-” Laxus interrupts my anger, and I fight not to snap back for a moment before I note that he seems so tired and put out. “-just please.” He sighs out the rest and slumps down further. His eyes are red again, but I can think of nothing to ease the pressure he feels. “You almost died, so just, for once shut up and do as your told you fuckin’ moron.” It comes out as a whisper not carrying normal bite in his banter, his screaming eyes aren’t because he’s stressed. I swallow and hold my tongue, I hadn’t known i’d almost died, to be in his place I would have been terrified. 

 

“You can take him home today, just keep a close eye on him. Maybe put something behind him on the chair.” Being pampered doesn’t sound horrible, I just…. Loath that it has to be for so long. My boyfriend stands up and gives me something resembling a smile, while Happy flies up. “I’ll get that chair.” I see him stretching his legs a little, getting ready to lift me. 

 

“Can I help?” Says the feline fluttering so close to the tall head nervously flying in a ring. Laxus just shakes his head, and crouches down to get the right leverage. I feel a small tingle as his hand goes under my legs but nothing more then that, there must be some numbing agent that Polyusca had put in for the surgery. His other hand moves for my back and I sit up as far as I dare. He lifts me with ease and I roll slightly in his arms. The weightless sensation is pleasant in companion with the small twinges of pain from my back. 

 

With no one to see us I giggle, pride be damned. “Prince charming.” I say, and I want nothing more to kiss his cheek, wishing that this were just a romantic gesture he had arranged for us. A grin forms on him this time and he scoffs. 

 

“Charming yes, princely no.” Egotistical shit, injured or not I hit his shoulder for that, but I feel like being romanced and rest my head on his chest. 

 

“My prince.” There is nothing I am more proud of that I found myself such a good fortuned man for myself. I feel his breath catch. 

 

“I suppose you can be my serving boy then.” 

 

“Is this how you treat all your serving staff your highness?” 

 

“Just the ones I’m fucking.” I laugh finally, too much for me, this asshole. The wheelchair comes in and I want to reject it out of comfort, but allow Laxus to put me in it merely because he can’t lug me about the place. No matter my wants. “I’ll make you some cinnamon snaps, and a luxury dinner okay.” I hold him from leaving, and he looks almost panicked, I just kiss him instead of soothing him, he kisses me back quickly before standing straight. He shuffles a moment, looking nervous as he places his coat back over his shoulder. “Need anything else babe?”  I can think of nothing, though guilt resonates within I ignore its pangs and instead focus instead on the lingering kisses that have been begotten onto me by a man I no longer deserve. 

 

The air brushes against me a coiling tunnel of spiraling knowledge that should I be reckless my life as I have known will be lost stolen through the remnants of a single mistake. This memory brings back another. “I didn’t blow your cover did I?” Laxus is walking slowly forward, probably making slight adjustments to how he walks me, it also keeps my motion sickness at ease with the calmness of his pace. 

 

“No, it was shockingly quiet for you. Only myself, that little girl and Steal heard you.” He nearly spits, I can hear the contempt without measure. 

 

“Dragonslayer hearing then.” I suppose that must be the reason, for otherwise it made no sense, plenty within the guild have good hearing. 

 

“That tiny thing is a slayer?” He hadn't the chance to really meet Wendy, although that is concerning. 

 

“Yeah, Wendy. Did you not meet her when you left for the night?” He grunts. A useless questioning, he isn’t going to be direct. I swiftly change topics escaping into another. “Can we go to the guild? I’m sure Mira, Lucy, Erza, Gramps…. well some others are concerned.” What faith I harbor. A growl, but I don’t hear a protest so I assume it to be a begrudging permission. “How long was I out?” 

 

**“** Four days, scared the fuck outta me.” I swallow that accursed lump. 

 

“I should be spoiling you.” 

 

“Not a chance.” We’re avoiding the elephant and it drives me around the bend that neither of us want to address it. 

 

“I don’t know how we’re going to get enough money for us both.” I start, because someone has too, he certainly isn’t, if he had his way I’d be left completely out of the conversation. 

 

“I’ll…. Find some work within the Dark guilds, freelance a little. Maybe go to the old man for a job or two.” I want to punch him, good idea or not, I don’t want him back in that area. Ivan already made his life hell, some guildmasters there could be just as cruel. 

 

“Mira might help, she knows who you are, she get you a few higher ranked gigs.” The hall comes before us, and the conversation drops in caution, that doesn’t mean I won’t bring it up again until we have the whole mess sorted. He knows it too. Opening the door with a sour face, its almost comical how much he hates me to be involved with difficult discussions, whether or not that is because of my immaturity or his own overprotectiveness is unknown to me. 

 

As I get rolled into the hall it is comforting to find it at least semi loud as usual. No one paying very much attention we end up straight by the bar without interruption. Its almost harrowing how fastly I have lost favour inside of mine own guild. If it were just a few months prior I would have had everyone on my ass asking if I fell or how I was, or something equally as annoying/comforting in ratio. So it seems that few people pay heed as we enter, pathetically in a chair and slumped over in supportive need. 

 

Erza is up by a shot, firm standing and with an edge of fight to her stern visage. “I’m glad your up. How are you feeling?” I go to answer when a womanly blonde stumbles into the conversation with a face of perpetuated fear. 

 

“Your in a wheelchair, were your injuries that bad?” Again I go for an answer, this time waiting a moment to see for possible interruptions, it proves for nil as another far away and male makes comment.

 

“Natsu, I’m really sorry bud I didn’t mean too-” He seems genuinely stricken, far away and not nearing, rubbing at his neck and swallowing loudly. I want to say that I know it hadn’t been. But my patience and understanding have grown in recent months, monumentally in fact and I know that regardless of what I say my boyfriend is in a defensive position. He hadn’t trusted Gildarts as it was, now however he seems prone to throw a punch at the guy. I can feel him restraining anger from the minor quakes in my chair, various deep breaths are also somewhat of an indicator. I don’t have the tacticial mind to ponder upon the wonderence of how the dickfight between him and Gildarts had ended in previous, considering Laxus injuries there is almost the certainty that someone -Gramps, had intervened. On that conclusion I don’t want another fight to occur, which is probably why the older man is so far removed. 

 

“You got some damn nerve to-” Laxus starts, because he can’t seem to hold his tongue anymore. 

 

“Don’t lecture me you goddamned-” Once more they seem to be readying for a brawl. Or their version of it, which would probably end with Magilola destroyed and Fairytail filing for bankruptcy. 

 

“The hell I do to you?!” I watch both of them waiting for opportunity to interrupt as fastly as I can, however, that question was a query that I could get behind. Other then being a Dark wizard theres not reason for Fairytail’s alleged ‘ace-in-the-hole’ to hate his fellow S-class mage. 

 

“What you did? How about working for fucking Ivan Dreyar! That piece of shit brought more harm to our guild then most of Phantomlord when he tried to act all fucking macho. I know for a fact anyone who has worked for that excuse for a man has killed for him.” I can almost smell the blood on my boyfriends hands from where I sit, knowing his willingness to be nonexistent surves me to curve any sort of disgust at the prospect, he’d always had a problem with that part of his job. It gets easier the more rutieneful it is, that does not make it more humane to those who have no choice. Laxus had never been able to properly take that particular insult. It weighed on him like water pressure. 

 

“That’s enough! Cut the crap Gildarts, you don’t know anything about him.” I can’t afford to get riled, and the whole situation is perfectly congregating to do just that, a burning rise in my throat, accompanied by the tense posture of the man behind me has me ready to jump up and break something. For my own sake the confrontation needs to end. That is until someone else joins in with a dirty glare and a chiding tone. 

 

“He isn’t the only one who knows jack Natsu. You knew your boyfriend worked for Ivan and you told us nothing, at least we know we can trust Gildarts. You on the other hand I’m not so sure.” Cana speaks with a venom in her bite, and the poison stings. Maybe I’d been expecting to little, in eagarness I’d been ignorant and oblivious to the standard of which my guild held honesty and the integrity of dark wizards. That said, even with their prejudice and hateful rhetoric I hadn’t thought I’d have so many glare sprung at me at once. If I were at my best I could punch through every single one of them. “He at least trusts us to make informed decisions, your boyfriend is a criminal Natsu.” 

 

Frustration wells up from my own need to fight any challenge and my lack of ability, instead leaving to fester the wounds of mine own personal problems pushed so brazenly to the side in comfort, swell and manifest in the need to win. Something that held out from the pits of childhood comradence dies. “So am I Cana! I’m gay remember?! Do you know what the knights  do  to gay people!? There isn't some fancy facility to ‘fix perverted behavior’ as they claim. They kill us, anyone who breaks their special way of repression. So yeah, Lux is a dark wizard, but at least the people within Dark guilds couldn’t give a flying shit if you like dick or not! I don’t know what happened to the guild I grew up in, but I’ve known all most all of you since childhood…..” I cut myself off, the bile raising in my throat and the want not to say anything more with the burning anger spewing in my mind. 

 

“I’ve had enough.” This time Grey passively stands, bleak expression in place, something I could recognize from before Lux came into his worldview, it was controlled and angry, but not resentful. Careful and reasoned, it was his own face of rationality. “Natsu, I don’t know what happened. But look… your just confused okay?” He speaks so calmly, like he knows it’ll piss me off, like he is concerned for my welfare. But it doesn’t make me angry, I get no cheap thrill from his challenge. I get pain, sharp and pressuring in my chest. Alike the panicked feelings I had that made me flee everyone I knew in a show of weakness. It stabs and resonates. I can’t cry because of Grey I’m not that much of a pushover, I’m not, no matter how I consider him a friend. I knew he could be smart and see his own problems, just not in his morals. This is so very different. 

 

I want to yell at the bastard, in screaming fucking pain, he can’t double-blade me, compassionate and the friend I knew, and then tell me that I’m fundamentally wrong. Elfman nods solemnly behind him, I see Wakaba, and Macao with a puzzled Romeo beside do the same, Cana joins in with a pinched expression and a nervous sweat. Gildarts hesitates but ultimately sighs and gives a single nod while drinking largely from his glass. 

 

It stings, more then any injury I’ve ever had, more then when Igneel left. And in not knowing what to do, not knowing how to convince them it boils over, and I don’t care to fight them on it. My tears just flow forth, and I just can’t bring myself to stop. They already think the worse of me, there’s nothing left for pride.

 

“Shame on you all! Natsu isn’t confused! Just because he made a different life decision then the rest of you means nothing! He is still the same person you’ve always known him to be.! I’m starting to think that your all delusional! Natsu is what he has always been a brave dragon in the face of every battle, but to have to fight the ones he considers his own is cruel! There is more to a person then what society gets to see of them! Natsu is a fireball we all know that, but he’s also sensitive and compassionate, loyal and gentle at heart! I’m starting to consider the possibility that none of you even care about anyone but yourselves!” Mirajane bursts out in a rage, gentle voice gone, reprimanding everyone. 

 

“Mira-” Elfman speaks. But he gets hit back for his effort at pacifying the situation. 

 

“Do not. I can’t even look at you right now. I love you Elfman, but right now, I’m ashamed to even know you. How dare you impede on the rights of another person.” It seems to be to much for her, because she bursts from the room in a flurry of skirts and pent up anger too frothy for anyone to hope to sooth. Erza pats my shoulder, and I hear rather then see, her do the same to Laxus, as she walks out, presumably to follow Mira. I don’t look to anyone, but I know that the male Straus is close to tears himself. Getting yelled at by Mira of all people tends to shock a crowd. Lucy twitches in my peripheral, her hands tightly clutching Happy to her bosom. The feline is hiding in her breasts and she doesn’t seem to care either way. I hate that he had to be here for that. 

 

Laxus leans down and his cheek brushes mine in a type of mock comfort as it pains my sore face. “Lets head home.” The pain just increases, I don’t want to go home, I want to fix things, I want for my guild to accept me, I’m not confused. But I don’t know how to do anything. The floor seems more comfort then anyone else's gaze right now. Especially in the deathly silence of it all. Laxus presses a kiss behind my ear, and it eases something clenching in my stomach just a fraction, knowing he’s concerned enough to resort to compassionate pda. “Hm? We should draw you a warm bath, a good meal? That sound good angel?” Bringing out the nickname, he’s concerned enough to bring out the nickname I forbid him from using in public. His voice is sweet, but its tarnished by a not so hidden tension, a growl resonating in the depth of his throat. 

 

“Can I wear your coat?” I don’t want him to leave. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This chap is intense. It's full on Laxus pov, no restraint made by me to be PG. This is a chap thats 17+ for sure. Also I was high when writting this, so its a little crappy, but I felt inspired so sue me.
> 
> everything was planned at the start of the book fyi, just in case y'all bitches thought this was sudden.
> 
> Playlist at bottom
> 
> Note: Can you tell I wanna make a gang au? Lol

My starting neighbourhood wasn't a pleasant rose smelling one. There were no flower bushes glittering the streets. Hell, well there had been Rose. I could laugh at the ironic name, she'd been a working chick, a junkie actually if the dazed expression always resting on her was any indication. A nice woman, however, good to the passing kids hoping for a chance, well, I couldn't say if it was kindness or just want for sex. Most of the guys 'round my block had lost their v- with her -for free. I'd known her only boyfriend well enough to be on a first name basis with the guy, he, like her, had been a civilian, livin' 'round a bunch of darken'd wizards out of nowhere else to be.

I'd been sixteen.

* * *

**I expected to get back to silence, as was usual, Dad being gone with the guild for the day, and I had been roamin' 'round trashing shit in next town over.**

**Uprooting their crappy business out of nothing left to do for the day, ignoring the bitterness of resentment clouding my judgment, personal vendettas' didn't matter here unless you wanted to do something extreme. My experience was blowing buildings, but that's as far I could bring myself to do, even then it was usually Pops putting some kind of pressure on me to actually do something about my anger.**

**To him, it was restrained.**

**Opening the cracked door and seeing my father eating slowly some fast-food had made me nearly punch the guy. Glad for my own caution, considering I could've found myself knocked fast on my ass for that one. Pops gave me a _look,_ disdained, yet uninterested in what had been going on, focusing on having his drink and eating. That didn't matter to me, I expected nothing from the guy, knowing him as long as I have, and having him ignore me was not a surprise. I stole his fries instead, because he always let me, and it happened to be from one of my favourite places.**

**Even still, without him saying anything, I knew he wanted something from me, I practically raised myself, in this city, that meant dirt poor and with thugs about to shove you on the wall and take all you had. Or just people who got a boner from free flowin' blood. Raising myself here meant I knew when someone wanted something, hookers and junkies, thugs and fathers, most the time it was easier just to do what they wanted and not get wild about it. Whatever it took to keep alive, as it were.**

**He fixed me a stare, finishing off his burger with a swipe of a greased napkin to his beard, it did nothing but leave a smear.**

**"Laxsinian," I hated that name, I scowled at its use, and he pretended not to get irritated at my insubordination. Fucker.**

**"Eat'a dick." He didn't pause, only rollin' the same eyes I got. and making a gesture with his hand indicating for me to shut up. It was a familiar enough routine that at this point he didn't even bother to try and fix my attitude as he used to.**

**"Watch it boy. I got a job for you." That grasped my attention fast, it was rare. Most of the time he didn't give a shit what I did. Lettin' me blow up what I wanted, fuck around with a random ass chick. Even walkin' in once when I was high outta my mind on coke, and smoking a joint on the couch. No shits given. He only gave me jobs rarely, and when he did I was expected to fulfill them with no questions asked.**

**As he said: _"You're a wizard for a reason boy, not just to explode buildings, so put your magic to some fucking use."_ Making an obvious statement to my intelligence as he was so fond of doing.**

**So, when Pops said he had a job, it was often guild related, and mandatory.**

**"You know the whore who lives next door, and that pussy boyfriend of hers." It wasn't a question, but I raised my brow at it nonetheless, I couldn't see how she would fit into anything.**

**"Rose and Mak, ya. So?" The tightened grip on his whiskey made me think I'd ticked him off by interrupting, which was odd, as his patience was usually better, maybe he was more drunk then I thought.**

**"That little shit has been selling information to the Rune Knights. So, I need to deal with it. Consider it your testing. Kill the little wimp, and you'll be in the guild officially." I had the sudden urge to punch the guy, anger aprupt and borne from shock.**

**I didn't, Pops just stood and walked out.**

**"Get it done." I was still sittin' after an hour of being left to myself. Roused only by a pounding on the door, before the drool-worthy form of Rose stumbled in, a giggle escaping her, as her bloodshot green eyes took me in with a dazed expression. Clearly, something was on her mind, this, normally I wouldn't mind. But the situation had my head wheelin', and noticing this she passed me a fresh, fat, point. Normality would've had me fighting the implication, but I just kept thinking about Mak, and I took it and puffed before I even registered what I was doing.**

**I'd done plenty for my Father before. Some really shaddy crap, some things I could never tell myself were real for sanity's sake. Nothing pride-worthy, he'd never asked for anything simple, and this took the cake.**

**Now, here sat Rose, oblivious, with her sweet perfume of lilacs and lavender, her make-up smeared over her face so thick I would never be able to recognize her without it. The thought of what I had to do was toxic, and she didn't know anything. Her dress was a top at best, not really covering much, and wrapped so tight around her feminine curves nothing was left to imagine. Blonde hair spun down her back like Goldilocks, legs for years.**

**I wanted to get high, I wanted to get laid. But the thought of Rose, tight dress or not, only had me halfway there. Mak, sprung to mind, all dirty grins and lazy gestures, how he kissed her with a passion. I knew she loved him, I knew that she was a slut, I told myself that offing him wasn't too bad. That didn't help anything.**

**I shoved my headphones up and blasted some crap rap popular 'round the block.**

* * *

**It was days later when I felt resolved. No doubts clouded me from the start, I had no choice in what would happen, Pops wouldn't stand for me failing him, he'd beat me to shit and I knew that. Pissed off as an understatement to his mood should I fail. However, my mind rested on the fact that I'd known Mak for several years, and he was a friend since I was fourteen, helped me figure shit out, how to live at thirteen when I could barely walk the street without getting mugged.**

**Coincidence or not, a few days after Dad had told me what I needed to do, I ended up overhearing a conversation. A typical drug trade going on, with the dealer and a regular, who ended up being Mak as I recognized. I wasn't particularly fazed by this, I usually got my weed second hand from him anyhow.**

**"Man, I tell ya, I never heard a slut be so bitchy about gettin' fucked." Said the dealer, some shitbag I reasoned, plenty of them in this town.**

**"Huh? Yo, man don't be such a puss, just slap the bitch, lemme tell ya; works a charm, they shut up so fuckin' fast. Then they stop fightin' later on too." I felt my jaw unlock and a growl slip past as Mak gave a candid response, no regret flashing across his face, where a laugh rested firmly in his eyes.**

**"Rose give you shit?"**

**"Used ta,' had a fuckin' mouth on her to. Cunt learned fast though." They laughed like it was fucking funny, shakin' hands and talkin' about gettin' together for a beer later. I almost shouted out about how they were dead wrong, and that one of 'em wouldn't be getting to do anything soon. No caution fed my mind, no disparaging regret or shitfaced conscious staring me down as I tackled the guy I'd considered a friend to the ground. Pounding his fuckin' face in with my fists as the dealer left, none the wiser.**

**He wasn't a weak guy though and threw me off without much issue after regaining himself. Blood drippin' into his eye from a split brow, and down his chin from his lip. Sick satisfaction hit me full force. Being pragmatic wasn't my strongest asset, he was at least five-ten, and I had yet to hit a growth spurt still only around five-five. Height didn't matter though.**

**This bitch beat on my friend. His girl. My friend.**

**"Laxus?"**

**"Piece of shit!" I wasn't giving him an opportunity to get over his confusion and smashed my fist in his face again. Gripping for my pocket knife, the idea of killin' him with the techniques he taught me was extremely appealing. He got a solid hit in, making me retch from hitting my gut so exactly.**

**I'd never been so pissed. I took the knife I had, no longer giving a shit as I popped it in his eye, electrified.**

* * *

"-it's stupid is all I'm saying, I'm practically healed. My leg doesn't even hurt that much, see?" Natsu's grumbling, uneven pitch snapped me out of memory. Something unconsciously brought back to the forefront of my mind. It was a dark want clouding my thoughts, and I'd been trying to ignore it for the past two weeks now, luckily hiding the distraction enough that Natsu hadn't noticed. Clearly, as he'd been talking for several moments I realize. Somehow, without noticing I'd tuned him out for a bit. Now twisting his injured leg back and forward careful not to be too ambitious in his movements. Attempting to convince me that he was fighting fit, at least, I think that's what he's doing.

The fact that Porlyusica had said he'd have a permanent limp, gave me doubts. Along with some less then kind thoughts. Apparently, his tendons would never fully heal, and it'd resulted in internal scarring. So now, he had to limp everywhere, it wasn't bad enough to stop him from working, but he couldn't sprint, run maybe, but high-speed racing was out.

He'd taken it oddly. I hadn't really expected much else. But he seemed both resigned to the fact and angry about it at the same time. Mixed into a lethal concoction, making him want to  _prove everything._ He could still climb a tree, still run -that one didn't really work-, still ride me -that I didn't mind so much, still torch a tree with fire.

Sex had actually been pretty rough lately, just as he tried to prove it  _could be._ Unfortunately for me, he refused to believe that his leg got sore easily, and I had to try and slow things down before he made it worse. Acting as supervisor to his crazy stunts. Luckily nothing to Natsu-like had occurred. But the daunting possibility haunted me every hour. When he'd choose to jump off of the Fairy Tail hall while of fire eating a bowl of chili had me hovering a little. -that possibility was sadly a very real one.-

It was only through my own daunting insistence that he hadn't taken a job yet. Straying from the guild hall as it happened, I put it down to uncertainty and not wanting to deal with his guildmates, but that reasoning would only work for so long before both of us would have to admit he was being a coward.

Maybe it was the years runnin' about in a crap town, maybe it was my own history as a teen wanting to get high and fuckin' anything with a cute face, but I really couldn't stop the instinctive want to just get Natsu stoned so he would stop being a fuckin prideful idiot. That, I could recognize as the stupidest idea I've had in years. Knowing him it'd have the opposite effect, and I didn't want to deal with whatever that entailed.

Maybe maryjane, if I felt it necessary, but nothing hardcore. Never.

Earlier this morning, he said he wanted to go to the Guild, the idea of him taking a job near made me piss myself, but he was almost a mindreader of mine and knew that I was strongly against it. Starting with a pout that it wasn't in the cards. Just that he wanted to see his friends, reflected in a bright smile, and I had to refrain from being a dick and taggin' on a;  _'ya, all three of 'em.'_ figuring it'd just earn me a night on the floor or a pissy Natsu for the rest of the day. Neither of which were pleasant thoughts.

Gildarts had ended up crossing my mind while we were walking out the house, the consideration, not for the first time crossing that I could gank him, and none would be the wiser if I wanted. Natsu's praise of the guy the only thing stopping me from diggin' as to where the guy lived.

I ended up contacting Rose to get my hands on my hidden stash, and rolling out two joints in the middle of the night. I hadn't been scolded out for it, but I knew Natsu had been pretty angry about how I handled his injuries, also not thrilled at the fact that Happy had been in the house, and that type of smoke was really bad for the feline. I promised not to do it in the house again. I'd gotten a ticked off look and a kiss to the cheek which had only confused me at the time.

I started back up smoking periodically, Natsu wasn't glad for it, but I figured he was just satisfied I hadn't tried to punch Fairy Tail's ace. I think, still, that he worries for me picking a fight with the guy, brash or not, I'm not that stupid. The incident at the Hall had been a testosterone filled bitch fight, something that only two guys with experience in bad neighbourhoods could understand. Mainly a recognition, mutual hatred thing, nothing more serious then that.

Now, my grudge was a lil' bit more personal.

I had a cold anger when I wanted to. Natsu wasn't aware of that fact, nor was anyone else, which is what I was relying on.

Ivan'd said once that I was ' _real fuckin strange, son'_ because I liked to get buzzed while truly angry. In truth, it helped me center myself, and think better on how to deal with the problem. Any red hot rage burnt away and I could fake being unfazed by crap easier. Most of the time I was stoic as it was, so it was convincing. Most assassination jobs I'd done, I'd done high. Better focused, less irrationally raging.

Even Natsu bought it, mostly at least. He at least knew that I now had a grudge, but he didn't know the extent or that I'd thought of offing the guy more then once. If he had, I think he would be a little more cautious bringing me to the hall

It was clear to me what most of FT thought of me. A fag, weak, and a traitor, I couldn't care less. They could think that about me and I would never give a damn, it was how they treated Natsu that ticked my nerves. That aside of course, I am a former dark wizard with one hell of a rep, and I wasn't a flowery nice guy, no matter what they thought with their crap stereotypes.

He'd hurt Natsu. This fuckin' guild had hurt him. I didn't see any reason to be nice anymore.

Not unless Natsu asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen list
> 
> Subterranean Homesick Blues -Bob Dylan
> 
> Smoke on the Water -Deep Purple
> 
> Fuck tha Police - N.w.a
> 
> Fur in my Cap -Rob Roy
> 
> What I Got -Sublime
> 
> B.O.B -Outkast
> 
> Let Me Blow Ya Mind -Scorpion\
> 
> No Scrubs -TLC
> 
> Insane In The Brain -Cypress Hill


End file.
